


Second Chance at First Love

by Mellumoada



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting/ Office, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst and Fluff and Smut, First Love, First Time Blow Jobs, First Time Sex, Growing Up, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Mutual Masturbation, POV Alternating, Past Relationship(s), Possibly Unrequited Love, Rimming, Slight Levi/Eren Yeagar, Time Skips, ten year time gap
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-09-19 08:09:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 53,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9428984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mellumoada/pseuds/Mellumoada
Summary: Erwin a straight-A, quarterback finds himself enthralled in a less-desired, apathetic introvert, Levi. A friendship blooms not long after followed by a relationship, but then Levi vanishes without a trace. Where has he gone? Why did he leave? And will Erwin ever see him again?2-part, time gap story + Epilogue





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Two part story, put into two chapters. Enjoy! ;)

     Erwin knew next to nothing about Levi except for what others ‘thought’ they knew about him. For a boy that prided himself on staying out of the center of attention he sure had a lot of rumors spread about him. He’d caught wind of a few that made absolutely no sense such as that he once beat a kid to death or that he enjoys the taste of blood. Though there were others that were much easier to believe like that he kept a blade collection or that he was related to an infamous serial killer. Frankly, at the beginning Erwin wasn’t even sure who they were referring to. That was until one day when he’d accidentally knocked into said person on his way to class. To begin, Levi was short, especially when compared to the blonde, so it was no surprise he hadn’t seen him walking the opposite direction. Erwin had apologized immediately but the ravenette did nothing but sneer.

    The expression alone was enough to reveal who this person was. There was no mistaken, when he’d finally got a good look, at who he was dealing with. The black clothing, the black hair and of course the striking platinum eyes, this short man was the person that most feared, that most started rumors about. None of that really mattered to Erwin though, as a guy at the top of the high school food chain he had an intimate understanding of how easily lies can be spread about someone, especially someone that no one had ever even spoken to.  And somehow that day forward, the strange male managed to pique his interest greatly. From the outside he seemed like a vicious person with an atrocious napoleon complex, but was that truly what defined Levi? Erwin wasn’t entirely sure but he wanted to know, harped on it even. Would spare an extra glance in the ravenette’s direction every so often, managed to pick him out in his classes, which he hadn’t even known he’d had with him, even caught a glimpse of him on his way home. He was always alone and always sporting his signature mask of indifference. That one fated day of interaction sprouted his fascination and since then he’d felt a great need to get to know this person better.

His first attempt didn’t go so well.

Erwin had approached Levi at lunch. One of the key socializing times of the typical high school day. Everyone got a chance to sit with their groups and talk about the party that was sure to go down after the game Friday night or how constipated principal Shadis always seemed to appear, but most importantly to gossip and perpetuate the daily trend.

But Erwin wasn’t bothered by this fact, or at least not yet. He himself was never one for gossip. Would find himself more often than not, either changing the subject or ignoring what his friends would say about others. However, he’d never necessarily been the subject of interest, till today.

 Instead of heading to his normal lunch table at the center of the room that consisted of Mike, Nile and a slew of other people all roughly well-known, he found himself heading in the direction of the far east corner of the cafeteria. The ravenette always sat in the same table alone, hoodie drawn over his face, earbuds in. It was obvious to most that he wanted to be alone but the tall blonde didn’t intend to back down. He had set his tray down across from the other carefully and took his seat hoping to get his attention. Levi didn’t even so much as look up or acknowledge him in the slightest. It dawned on Erwin much later that perhaps the cafeteria during social/gossip time wasn’t the greatest place for first introductions. Looking beyond the crowded space of the lunch room he’d come to find that everyone was watching him, with looks of astonishment on their faces much like he was a man going into a lion’s cage. Some already whispering to each other, starting rumors no less.

Levi had lifted his head taken one icy look at the blonde across from him and before Erwin could state his rehearsed greeting, the boy had stood up and left the premises. Erwin released the breath he had been holding, telling himself it wasn’t going to deter him from his goal. The rest of the day he was bombarded with questions as to why he was trying to sit with that ‘weird’ kid but he managed to ignore most of them.

His second attempt went much better. Probably because it was after school and there was no one around to spook or give Levi unwanted attention.

“Hey.”

The ravenette locked eyes with him, giving him a glare, his attempt at being mincing no doubt but he didn’t walk away this time. That certainly had to be progress.

“I’m Erwin.” He said immediately following.

“I know… What do you want?” The other grumbled, his eyes unfocused and wandering. He kept looking around as if he was expecting someone to jump him from behind. The blonde cringed. Did Levi not want to be seen talking to him or did he think it was the other way around? Obviously if that were the case he wouldn’t have approached him first but sometimes his reputation exceeded him.

“I just wanted to say hi. We’re in the same grade and similar classes and yet I’ve never gotten the chance to speak with you.”

Levi sighed audibly, his breath visible in the mid-October chill and proceeded to shove his hands in his hoodie pockets possibly for the same reason, before he turned to walk away.

Erwin stopped him – or at least tried to – “I was hoping we could be friends.”

The ravenette had the greatest urge to ask why once he turned back to come face to face with the desperate cerulean eyes of the taller boy. Everyone knew Erwin Smith, his name alone was a conversation starter amongst anyone of the school, teacher and staff included. He was the typical star football player, straight A student who every guy talked about being friends with and every girl talked about fucking. Not to mention he was massive in size, with crystal clear blue eyes and flawless blonde hair, and to top off the perfect person that was Erwin, despite all his fans and followers he was still known for his gentle personality. Disgusting. The thought alone that he had approached him made Levi want to run for the hills- not out of fear mind you -. Especially after that stunt he’d pulled at lunch. People tended to leave him alone if they knew what was good for them. He wasn’t really known for being an approachable guy. Erwin clearly must not have been as smart as everyone said.

“You have like five-hundred friends, you sure as hell don’t need me.” Levi muttered trying to escape through the school gates, surely this guy wouldn’t follow him out he’d thought but Erwin was hot on his trail.

“I have two friends. Just because people say they are my friend doesn’t mean they are.”

Levi sped up his pace. But he was stupid if he thought he was going to out run Mr. Quarterback. Erwin placed his hands on his shoulder to stop him and the ravenette had no choice but to turn towards him.

“Hang out with me. Just once.” The other seemed to plead.

Levi contemplated not being able to look the blonde in the eyes. He never did give a response but Erwin was apparently a stubborn guy and was quick to take his no answer as a yes.

The rest was history.

* * *

 

 “Typical Rick. Who’s really the enemy now?”

Erwin inquired vocally, to which he received a noncommittal grunt in response. He and his ‘friend’ of a month or so now were spending some time getting caught up with _The Walking Dead_. It was probably one of their favorite pass times and one leading factor to the start of their friendship. Something about the dystopian, fight to survive against man eating beast’s world really spoke to them.

They had hung out that one time, Erwin had invited Levi to his house mostly because he didn’t want to be out in public, which was cool with the blonde. In only an hour – or two – of lounging on his cardinal coach they had found they had quite a lot in common. From television shows they enjoyed watching to, music they listened to, to pretty much everything. Levi had been reasonably skeptical and resistant the first few times but after that it had been easy and rather heedless for them to fall into a routine, one of them being staying at Erwin’s home every other day or so.

The blonde sighed sinking deeper into the cloth couch, running his fingers through his already disheveled hair and propping his feet up on the center wood coffee table. The show was coming to his end and Erwin could tell Levi hadn’t been into it the entire time, something was up.

“Everything okay at home, Levi?”

The other shrugged his arms folded over his chest, not even so much as taking his eyes from the screen.

 “You can tell me you know. I don’t judge, you already know my home life isn’t all horse carriage and white picket fences either.” He coerced, kind of prying even though that’s not what he wanted to do or how he wanted to appear.

Levi tended to keep everything inside. At the beginning of their quote, unquote friendship, the ravenette refused to speak more than two words to him. He’d often just sit and let Erwin do the majority of the talking.

However, in only a short amount of time, Erwin had come to know Levi on a more intimate level mostly because he was able to string together all of his two or three words over the month he’d said to him. He lived with his mother, he had a step-father but he’d left or was always leaving or he was always saying he was going to leave (the details were fuzzy) and now he’s uncle tended to hang out -for some reason or another - who was abusive to him and his mother. The blonde only knew what Levi was willing to tell him which wasn’t much but it was apparently a hell of a lot more than he’d ever told anyone else. Erwin felt honored that Levi trusted him enough for this information but at the same time now that he considered them to be ‘friends’ Erwin wanted to do more, shield him from it in a way. He didn’t like seeing the smaller male so unhappy but he couldn’t express it so openly. Levi hated pity or really any emotional expression directed towards him, so Erwin kept his qualms to himself. Instead he tried to appear relatable when he could. What he’d also gathered from Levi’s comments was that he had a very unrealistic view of him and his life. Erwin contributed it mostly to the school, mostly due to his grades and athletics, people usually inferred that he had a pristine lifestyle as well. Sure he lived in a moderately nice home and he had both his parents but they were never really around. Half the time he fended for himself, but it didn’t let it get to him, didn’t let it affect him as much. Not to mention, the freedom from his mostly overbearing father was preferable.

Unlike himself though, Erwin was certain Levi’s home life was why he didn’t let people get close to him. Not like people were really fighting to be his friend either though. Most were scared of Levi, something about his razor-sharp glare, possibly the rumor than he kept a switch blade on him – though Erwin had come to find it wasn’t a rumor at all – most likely what little people knew about him was the biggest reason. What people didn’t know they made up, that’s probably how the lies started.

“Same old, same old. Shitty uncle, negligent mother. I’m either getting my ass beat or being ignored.” He finally explained still unable to meet Erwin’s eyes.

“That sucks. You know you can always spend the night if you don’t want to go home.”

“Yeah and have your dad bitch at me again… fuck no.”

Erwin groaned, still embarrassed with how his father had reacted to finding Levi sprawled on the couch one morning. It went much like it was now. Levi not wanting to go home and have to deal with whatever was going on so Erwin offered up his couch to stay, - thinking offering his bedroom would be weird – and Levi agreed. The next day he had woken to his father barging into his room and demanding why there was some punk sleeping in his living room. At that point apparently, he’d already thrown Levi out. It was embarrassing and set him back like a month in his progressing friendship with the shorter male. He had to nearly beg on his knees to get him to hang out at his place again.

“Yeah I’m sorry about that. He never has a problem with Mike or Nile. How was I to know he’d have a heart attack when finding you there.”

“Well unlike Mike and Nile, I have no notable talents nor interest with sports and I am certainly not Mr. all-American boy.” The ravenette hissed, an obvious jab at Erwin.

Erwin hated when the other got so snappy with him especially when everything he said was on the mark. The blonde knew his father had exceedingly high expectations for him, had pretty much planned his entire life. One that someone as rebellious as Levi certainly did not fit into. The ravenette’s appearance and attitude kind of screamed angsty teenager, from his mussed jet black tresses to his all black attire. But the truth was Levi wasn’t completely what his persona made him appear to be. He wasn’t a punk, he despised piercings and gages and guy liner. He just happened to not care about anything which somehow allowed people to box him in with the rebels and delinquents. There was no question his father saw Levi and his other friends on two completely different platforms but he’d never acted in such a way, even if there had been a punky teen in their living room for him to make such a big deal about it was alarming.

His father was one thing but Erwin also personally hated when other brought up his school status, which was often. Once again it was Levi alluding to the fact that he still believed what others said about him at school. Despite what people thought, he doesn’t do the things he does in order to be ‘popular’, he just was who he was.

“Come on, Levi I think you know me better than that by now. I’m only what my father wants me to be.”

Levi huffed a laugh, one that was borderline sardonic, as he stood up from the couch picking up his black torn book bag. “’kay eyebrows, you keep telling yourself that.”

* * *

     Erwin stepped out of the showers padding across the chilling tile floor to his locker in a rush, just wanting to get home knowing there was a warm bed and an unwatched episode of American Horror Story waiting for him. Practice was a hassle today, it was cold and damp out, which left his muscles rigid and his lungs dry. He just hoped he wasn’t getting sick with the playoffs just around the corner. He’d never hear the end of it, if that were to happen. He finished drying off, extending his hand to dial in the code to his lock, satisfied in the knowing click and bang sound it produced when it came undone and dropped to the floor.

“So what your friends with that thug now?” A rough voice groaned. Erwin didn’t even need to turn around to know who it belonged to. The only person in the world who even seemed to give a fuck.

Erwin finished zipping up his jeans before having to acknowledge Nile and his ignorant questions. He grabbed the fresh shirt from his locker – well it smelled clean – and pulled it on over his shoulders. The other waited impatiently for a response from him, standing in only a towel fresh from the showers, his hands akimbo, his wet feet tapping in the pool of water he had produced on the tile.

“His name is Levi.” Was the only response the blonde gave, voice seeming to echo in the locker room.

Erwin kept his back turned, trying to ignore Nile as best he could. Hoping that perhaps the man would let this go if he showed enough disinterest. Apparently he had giving him too much credit because he continued anyways. “He’s a juvenile delinquent. I heard he stabbed his step-father and that’s why he left their family.”

The blonde rolled his eyes kicking his locker shut and taking a seat on one of the cold metal benches to put on his sneakers. “Nile, can you ever just worry about yourself.”

“So then you’re not denoting that he stabbed someone?”

“He didn’t stab anyone. He’s not that kind of guy, Nile. And starting rumors isn’t cool.”

The lengthy male, still dripping wet opened his mouth most like for another offensive comment before Mike could come into view. He too had just come from the showers, also dripping and only covered by a fluffy white towel. “Leave him alone, Nile. I am sure Erwin knows what he is doing.”

“He has no clue what he’s getting himself into.” Nile snapped, turning his attention back to Erwin “I am trying to protect your ass. You think you are oh so charming, that everyone is just going to love you. But if you think the fact that your head quarterback and president of the honor society is going to keep that freak from slicing you face off, you’re surely mistaken.”

Mike laughed beginning to redress. “You are clearly paranoid, Nile.”

“Are we all talking about the same person here? Have you seen that kid? He looks like a demon spawn straight out of a horror flick.” He continued, his arms outstretch like he couldn’t believe his two friends were being so calm about the topic at hand.

Erwin rolled his eyes. “So we are basing all these rumors and assumptions on his outer appearance?”

Mike padded off to his own locker, leaving the argument he really wanted no part in to Erwin and Nile.

“Well if it quacks like a duck and looks like a duck, then what the hell do you think it is Erwin?” Nile seethed slamming his hand against the locker and leaning against it, his dark eyes shooting daggers at the other.

The blonde stood picking his lock up from the floor. Despite the annoyance he felt for one of his friends bashing another of his friends he smiled and let out a laugh through his nose. “People are way more complicated then ducks, Nile.”

“So that’s your only argument?”

“It’s the only one I need.” Erwin said, making sure his locker was secured before chancing one more glance at Nile and a single wave in Mike’s direction before taking his leave.

* * *

 

“Nile talking shit again? Not surprised.”

Levi scoffed, clicking away feverishly on the xbox one controller, not taking his eyes from the television. Another after school, activity they enjoyed doing with one another. A good ole game of Call of Duty. They were now stationed on the carpeted floor of Erwin’s bedroom -mostly hiding away from Erwin’s father something they had to start doing-, It was immaculate. Erwin just had to be perfect in every way, Levi thought somberly.

“It’s whatever. He can be such a jerk sometimes.” Erwin replied, before groaning in defeat when Levi managed to kill him – yet again – with his KN-44.

“Then why are you even friends with him? His stupid chin looks like some guy shaved his balls then glued it to his face.”

The blonde bit his lower lip in focus trying to scope out Levi’s guy but couldn’t help the smile that broke out on his face with the smaller male’s last comment. Nile’s face did remind him of pubes, he’d thought he was the only one that noticed that, didn’t have the slightest clue why he was even trying to grow one. Just something else that exemplified how similar they were. “I’ve known him since we were in diapers.” He’d muttered as an explanation. It’s not that he didn’t like Nile, they’d been friends for so long it’d be hard to feel that way but at the same time he wasn’t proud of who he’d grown to become. He’d always be his friend but that didn’t mean he had to agree with all his ideals.

“Ah let me guess, your dad is friends with his dad?” The ravenette shanked Erwin’s character from behind, once again rendering him dead. The blonde shrugged, turning to the smaller once the game was called.

“Yeah something like that.” He muttered, letting his head fall back against his bed.

“By the way, ever since it went public that we’re hanging out, that bitch Marie will not leave me the fuck alone… I knew eating lunch together was a bad idea.”

From the start, Erwin and Levi had agreed to keep the fact that they were hanging out a secret. Erwin didn’t want to be ambushed by people questioning him about his choices of friends and consequentially Levi didn’t want to be ambushed by people trying to _be_ his friend. It made sense for both of them at the time but after two months of spending every moment together in the four pale blue walls of Erwin’s room or the four cream walls of Erwin’s living room, they considered it was time to hang out elsewhere. Along with that Erwin also decided acknowledging each other in school was necessary as well. Levi could remember like it was yesterday the surprised and seething stares he received at school that day. Eating lunch with Erwin Smith was like eating lunch with a celebrity. He’d never been more uncomfortable in his life.

Levi recalled how after class that very day he was surprised to find he had a shadow. Especially since people tended to avoid him. She was a freshman, small in stature with curious big brown eyes and chestnut hair that was always pushed behind her ears with a headband. The girl was known for being obsessed with Erwin, - though in all honesty who wasn’t – who had managed to corner him and question him about the blonde’s hobbies, relationships and other bazaar facts that Levi didn’t even know the answer to.

Erwin draped his arm over his eyes mumbling his answer. “Can’t you just pull your switch blade on her?”

“Ha ha very funny.” Levi commented sarcastically, with a well-placed punch to Erwin’s shoulder, to which he winced, his winning smile still present on his face. “Seriously can you just acknowledge her or something. I’m sure she’ll be satisfied with that.”

“She’ll leave you alone eventually it happened with Nile and Mike too.”

“Wow I am surprised you haven’t turned this girl down like the gentleman you are.” The ravenette mocked.

“Yeah well, I’ve tried but I think I made it worse.”

She was a cute girl but the way she latched onto Erwin wasn’t appealing. She was a little too immature for him currently. Despite the hype at school and the attention he’s use to, he wasn’t looking to date someone that idolized him.

“I kind of lied and told her I was dealing with a hard break up and needed time to recover.” Erwin was too nice of a guy to just turn down a girl, or so he told himself.

“And she bought it? Wow she’s more of an idiot than I had originally thought.”

The blonde shrugged. “She is only a freshman.”

Levi mimicked the gesture, starting up a new game, Erwin didn’t even so much as reach for the controller he’d discarded somewhere beside him.

“So tell me. How much shit have you gotten after being seen with me?”

Erwin had to genuinely think about that. Mostly what he had gotten was curiosity. People asking him why he was hanging out with Levi, others not even asking at all but instead conjuring up all kinds of ludicrous theories. Some of the assumptions were quite hilarious in fact. “If anything, I think you’ve made me more famous among our peers.”

“How so?” Levi muttered quasi-interested as he searched out Erwin’s character once again and killed him, fighting a sadistic smile from turning his lips.

“Well… Apparently people think I’ve taken you on as a protégé.” Erwin looked at the smaller male very subtle amusement were on his features, Levi then snorted out a laugh.

“Protégé? What am I going to become a miniature you?”

“Emphasize on miniature.” The blonde laughed this time, the sudden grimace he’d gotten from Levi making it impossible for him to hold back. The ravenette punched him in the arm again.

“Asshole.” He mumbled, cheeks red, while Erwin continued his hysteria, holding his stomach and even falling onto his back.  It seemly went on forever, and it wasn’t even that good a joke. Erwin Smith was also a huge freaking man child.

* * *

 

     The next following months Levi and Erwin were inseparable. They met up before school, ate lunch together and hung out after school as well, like clockwork. It was almost freighting how quickly they’d fallen into a habit, and nothing interfered with their routine. Nile and Mike weren’t the most supportive of their recent friendship but Erwin insisted that Levi was really cool once you got to know him.

 Shock of the new pairing only lasted a couple of weeks. Once people started realizing that Levi wasn’t going to have some transformation, a rags to riches high school movie cliché they went back to ignoring his presence. And Levi was okay with this.

Life was much better with Erwin. He finally had someone to crack jokes with and play video games with, not that he cared for those things before but it was just a pleasant adjustment to his life. He would never have had expected the tall popular blonde to be so down to earth. He took to the attention so well, treated it like it was nothing to him. And not in an arrogant way but in a ‘he doesn’t even notice it’ kind of way. So well in fact, that Levi was very much beginning to questioning if maybe he was just an oblivious idiot. He knew that wasn’t true, however. Despite himself and despite every insult and envious comment he sometimes wanted to throw at Erwin, he had to admit that the guy was the closest thing to perfection there was on the earth.

God, he wished his brain would stop reminding him of this fact, though. Every time the blonde laughed or offered to hang out or even smiled, the one that made his shallow dimples visible and caused his light blue eyes to beam, he wanted to punch himself with how it made him feel.

Then, even worse, to have that same laugh and those same eyes haunt him in his dreams, causing him to awaken in a cold sweat multiple times during the night. The sun not even up yet to cast shafts of light through the blinds of his window. Nothing but the sound of his rapidly beating heart and his heavy pants keeping him sane. After, he’d always find himself stumbling over his own feet across him pristine bedroom floor and making a mad dash to the bathroom to splash cold water on his face. A sad attempt to clear his mind of the darken blue eyes and disheveled blonde hair tattooed on his memories. Then there was the issue that once he got back to his bed, he wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep. Shamefully having to relieve himself of the pressure in his abdomen that he wished so badly he could will away, just so he could get the last two hours of rest before having to ready himself for school.

Levi had always known he liked guys. It was never a question in his mind and it wasn’t something he was ashamed of. He didn’t necessarily try to closet himself he just never felt the need to tell anyone his sexual orientation. Not to mention he never really found anyone worth his time, or even someone he found to be remotely attractive but now there was Erwin.

Fucking Erwin with his tall athletic built and his stupid chiseled jaw and he just had to be his friend of all people. Allowing him to see parts of him he’d never would have seen if they hadn’t become friends much like his sculpted shirtless torso or his dorky – cute -- personality. And now he found it so very wrong that he couldn’t stop thinking about him. And there was no way in hell he could ever let him know. Now that they hung out excessively, now that he slept over his house occasionally. Not to mention the guy was clearly straight as they come. Typical.

And the worse part about it was that he was certain Erwin wouldn’t judge him if he knew but he couldn’t be sure the blonde would stay his friend. He couldn’t lose him now. He was clearly the only friend he had. And Levi wasn’t going to let anything change that.

* * *

 

“You want me to do what?” Levi nearly spit out his lemon ginger iced tea. Erwin had insisted he try since he enjoyed tea so much. – yeah hot tea! He’d exclaimed but immediately shut up when he actually found it to be amazingly refreshing on a late spring/early summer day.

“I said there’s a party Friday commemorating the end of our Junior year. And I want you to come with me.” Erwin reiterated, sitting content on the other side of the small circular table of the local Starbucks, his own iced tea lying in a puddle of condensation next to him.

Levi groaned, feathering his fingers through his hair in exasperation. “Yeah I heard…”

“You don’t have to get so frustrated Levi…” –

“I’m not getting frustrated I just… you never invited me to a party before.”

Erwin crossed his arms over his chest fixing him with a straight glare. “That’s so not true. I asked you once and you told me never to ask you again. So I didn’t.”

“But you’re asking me now…”

“Yes because it is the last party of the year, and in a few days we’ll be seniors. Everyone is going to be there and I want you there too. Let loose, maybe get to know some girls.”

Levi paled internally with his last comment but fought to not let it show on his face.

“Erwin, I’m not social like you… It. I don’t belong there. I don’t know the first thing about going to a party.”

“There is nothing to know.” Erwin stopped, recognizing the clearly uncomfortable look across the other’s face. He sighed halfheartedly. “I can’t force you to go Levi but just know that I want you to be there.”

And with that statement alone is how Levi found himself in front of a moderately substantial home on a quiet, suburban street late at night, dressed in the nicest pair of dark denim jeans he had and a clean burgundy t-shirt – the only color besides black he owned not to mention the very one Erwin had said looked quite charming on him- getting ready to enter his first party. He was surprised that in such a neighborhood the cops weren’t already swarming the premises. Seeing this many teenagers in such a place had to spell trouble. There were twenty or so cars all piled up and down the street, a steady stream of people entering and exiting the front entrance and the thumping of audible music shook the house on its foundation.

He could not fucking believe that Erwin managed to make him agree to this with his smooth words and pleading eyes. The way the sun illuminated his skin on that day was hardly fair, he probably would have agreed to anything with the way he looked at that moment.

Erwin nudged him in the shoulder and gave him a beaming smile. “Don’t look so worried.” He whispered close to Levi’s ear. “I’ll make sure you have fun.” The shorter couldn’t help the shutter that course through his entire body when the hot breath of the blonde hit the side of his face.  Something he had just started doing, only one of the products of his sleepless nights. The blaring techno music coming from the other side of the door was intimidating but he felt far more calm with Erwin by his side.

Walking into this house, Levi’s immediate thought was ‘holy fuck, this is easily the worse mistake of my life.’ The building was a little more than modest but clearly not big enough for how many teens were stuffed into the space. Speakers that seemed to be situated in every corner of the room were pumping out one radio butchered song after another, with a bass volume so great it was seriously giving Levi heart papulations.

But people managed – somehow – to be dancing to the beats, grinding and twerking up against one another much too closely to be appropriate for public viewing. And everyone looked wet for some reason or another, was it sweat, liquor… other bodily fluids? Who could know? Levi was the slightest notch below horrified. The scene was exemplary of everything he disliked to be around. He snuck a peak at the door truly debating how fast he could get the hell out of here without anyone noticing, -- or frankly touching him because ew -- and by anyone he clearly meant Erwin. He would be the only one to notice, really. However, much to the smaller’s disdain the tall blonde had his arm around him in seconds, much like he knew exactly what Levi was plotting.

“First things first, we need some drinks.” He yelled having to do so with the loud music and hollering from the crowd assaulting his ear drums, though despite that Erwin still seemed to be shouting louder than necessary, probably already high off of the suffocating energy in the room.

Levi just nodded, having no choose but to follow Erwin to the kitchen, while having to endure his blinding popularity on the way. Everyone, even people Levi had never seen before – seriously did they even go to their school – howled the blonde’s name greeting him with a high five or some rough clap on the back/hug. Then would walk away without giving so much as a glance of acknowledgement in the ravenette’s direction.

Not that Levi could give a flying fuck, about people he didn’t even know.

Shots were already being poured as soon as he’d managed to weasel his way through the masses. Erwin throwing them down his throat like it was water and he was stranded in the middle of the Sahara Desert. Bottles upon bottles were scattered haphazardly across a granite island, all with a different label and color much like everyone just brought whatever they had lying around or possibly grabbed blindly at what their parent’s liquor cabinet contained. More likely the latter.

Levi had one, two possibly three of his own. Not even knowing what it consisted of except for possibly fire, with how the liquid scorch the back of his throat and warmed his stomach. But despite his stature, he held liquor very well. Never had he understood how people could get so shitfaced, when it just never seemed to happen to him no matter how much alcohol he consumed.

Erwin on the other hand, despite his stature was somewhat of a complete fucking light weight. The ravenette could see a drastic difference in the man as soon as his first shot was downed. He’d slammed the shot glass down with a clank on the table then turned to Levi with a very stupidly happy look on his face, “Fuck, this is great!” Is what he yelled with a giddy laugh as punctuation.

An eye roll was returned, the ravenette not believing for a second that Erwin could be so bad with liquor and was ready to speak his mind when two men waltzed in between him and the Blonde. From the size of the one and the stank look of the other Levi knew immediately.

Mike leaned in to whisper something in Erwin’s ear to which they all turned to look at the dance floor. Levi did the same to catch the sight of a pretty brunette sporting a crop top and high-waisted denims beckoning Erwin with some sexual dance moves and a sultry wink. The ravenette wanted to dry heave from the over exaggerated gestures, but thought better of it.

After what appeared to be Mike trying to coerce the blonde to dance, two other basic looking girls came to cling onto them and the four of them gyrated their way into the sweating crowd of party goers.

Blue eyes looked between Levi and the brunette.

“Levi you should come dance.” Erwin suggested nudging the shorter back towards the others.

Levi shook his head.

“Cooooommmeeee oooooonnnnn.” He whined. – that’s it. He was never going to let Erwin have alcohol in front of him ever again. It made him so annoying! –

Levi folding his arms over his chest. “Don’t give me that, Erwin. Just go dance.”

The blonde glanced behind Levi once again and winked, most likely giving flirty eyes to that same brunette.

“Fine.” He finally sighed. “But I am coming back for you. And we are taking more shots – probably shouldn’t – then me and you are gonna dance, okay?”

Levi just shrugged and the other finally left.

In the time Erwin was away, he mostly stayed by the makeshift bar, nursing a bottle of beer. Not making an effort to really talk to anyone – not like anyone made an effort to talk to him – but instead observed from afar the many trials and tribulations of the partiers.

For instance, he witnessed a girl walk into the bathroom to find her boyfriend? – probably with how upset she got – half naked with some other girl. Levi would be lying if he’d said it wasn’t funny. It was hilarious, how the offending guy kind of just shrugged, then proceeded to get slapped in the face by not only the first girl but the second as well.

He’d also saw a guy that was so wasted he possibly thought he could walk through walls because that was exactly what he had tried to do. Bashing his head against the dry wall and tapping out within seconds. That made Levi crack a smile as well.

But what wasn’t funny, by any means, was the degrading image of Erwin humping – yes humping, it couldn’t even be considered dancing at this point – Ms. Brunette crop top. Not only was Levi just repulsed by the sheer suggestiveness of their activity and what it appeared to be but he was also kind of jealous. Though he’d never admit that to anyone, he hardly could admit it to himself. But it wasn’t like he wanted to be on the dance floor with the blonde’s junk up against him – absolutely not – that’s not what he was jealous of. He just kind of wished Erwin was instead standing beside him cracking stupid jokes at all the dumb drunk people. Standing alone at a party was not something he had planned on doing tonight and If he had known that was what Erwin did at parties he probably wouldn’t have come to begin with. And at this point, it seemed quite clear, that the blonde was not coming back for him.

Levi chugged the rest of the now lukewarm beer from the bottle, placed it on the counter, shoved his hands in his pockets and decided it was time to get home. The blonde had driven him there but the neighborhood wasn’t too far from the school and from there he could make it home on foot.

He left through the front door, no one said bye. Figures. And continued down the side walk.

“LEVI!”

The ravenette turned, with a groan, watching as Erwin stumbled out the same door and ran to catch up to him, obviously still quite intoxicated.

“… W-Where are… you going?” He panted out of breath. Levi looked up at him surprised. How had he noticed he had even left?

“I’m going home”

“Why?”

“It’s late, Erwin. I just don’t want to be here anymore.”

“Late? It’s only like…like…” The blonde squinted down at his wrist only to realize he wasn’t even wearing a watch before continuing. “I don’t know… midnight maybe? The party isn’t even half over.”

Levi shrugged. “I just don’t want to be here, Erwin, okay?”

“Is it b-because I left? Is it because I wasn’t paying enough attention to you?”

The way Erwin said that just really pissed the ravenette off. As if his world revolved around the blonde, as if he was leaving for some petty reason as that. What was he a dog? “Don’t make me out to be some fucking loser that needs your attention. It has nothing to do with you. I’m just tired.”

“I’m sorry, Levi. I wanted to dance with you. I didn’t want to abandon you.”

The ravenette squeezed his eyes shut for a fraction of a second, trying to starve off the headache that was sure to come from this stupid conversation. “Are you even listening to me?”

“I don’t even know that girl, Levi… Ugh. I just I wanted you to have a good time.” – It was like talking to a brick wall –

“Erwin seriously. You are so drunk, right now. Just go back to the party. I’m fine.”

“I invited you and I abandoned you. Like a shitty friend.”

Erwin seemed to be talking to himself at this point.

“Don’t go, Levi.”

“Why do you care? You aren’t even…” Levi trailed off noticing how exceedingly close Erwin had managed to get to him. He tried to look everywhere else but the blonde’s despondent blue eyes. “Y-You aren’t even”—he’d lost his train of thought. What the hell was he just about to say?

Erwin grabbed a hold of the shorter’s wrist, firmly. “You just can’t go…” –

“Let. go.” The ravenette seethed, giving the taller man the most authoritative look he could muster. This was getting out of hand.

“…Don’t go. We can go dance together or whatever you want.” – Levi tugged at his arm trying to get out of the inebriated blonde’s grasp.

 “Please stay…”

The ravenette stopped struggling with his words, rather bewildered by the desperation in the other’s voice. Then somewhere within that moment of stillness and confusion, the blonde leaned down to touch his lips to Levi’s, mumbling the end of his statement against his skin. The smaller male was shocked still, eyes blown wide as gentle lips mouthed and sucked at his. Subtle, slow, just a brush of contact.

The strong hand that had just moments ago been so rough had now loosen from his wrist, traveled up his arm, leaving goosebumps in its wake, and slid up his throat to cup the side of his face, deepening the kiss ever so slightly. Causing Levi’s eyes to flutter closed, his entire body numb except for the methodic movement of his jaw and the heat that was pooling in his cheeks and the palm of his hand. Erwin’s lips were far softer than Levi had ever imagined them – not that he ever had-, the taller was way more gentle then he had been a few moments ago as well. But despite the leasurely pace, and uncertainty lingering beneath, there was still passion and fire. Something hot that wormed its way down his spine and made him whimper faintly.

“ERWIN!”

The name was heard before anyone was seen and within that split second of panic, Levi shoved the blonde away, who stumbled backwards, eyes glazed, lips red and an expression being one of pure surprise. Then Levi watched as Nile and Mike appeared giving the ravenette a strange look but overall complete oblivious to what had just manifested between them.

“Erwin, we were wondering where you went. Sarah said you just bolted.”

The blonde couldn’t take his eyes off Levi, he seemed to be in some weird dazed state but coincidentally Levi could not look back at Erwin. So instead he turned and left, leaving the three boys there in the middle of the sidewalk.

* * *

 

The next few days after the party were a nightmare, and not only because of the pinching pain behind his eye sockets and the unfamiliar taste in his mouth the next morning but mostly due to the fact that Levi wouldn’t return any of his calls or texts.

He had been drunk that night, that was a known fact but not drunk enough to forget what he had done. A swell of nauseating guilt and embarrassment ran through every vain in his body when he thought about it. What in the world had he done? He very well may have just ruined his friendship. He didn’t know what he had been thinking. Well obviously he was thinking he wanted to kiss Levi, then he did but he was too inebriated to even consider the consequences at that point, the ones that he was currently facing.

Erwin was lying flat on his four post bed staring numbly at the imessage screen of his iPhone, waiting hopelessly for the gray bubble to appear or the telling ping of a new message but nothing would, except for the dimming of the glare then the screen turning black entirely. He had obviously scared Levi away which honestly was beginning to bother him greatly. It was weird to say, even weirder to admit but he had wanted to kiss Levi and then once he’d done it he kind of enjoyed it. Well not kind of enjoyed it, he very much enjoyed it. Couldn’t stop thinking about it even.

He ran his hands through his hair, contemplatively.

Erwin was not gay or at least that’s what he had thought, he had always dated girls, he found them attractive but at the same time there was something about Levi. Maybe it was the smoky look to his eyes or the pale luminescence of his skin, or possibly the height difference and how well he felt they would fit together, he wasn’t entirely sure. But what he was sure of was that whether he was gay or not, he cared for Levi and he didn’t want to lose him.

Not so soon, and certainly not because of some drunken mistake he’d made. He needed to fix this.

* * *

 

    However sadly, the party was the last he’d see of the ravenette for some time due to it currently being summer break, which made it extremely easy for Levi to avoid Erwin which was exactly what he did. Well that and life got in the way. He didn’t particularly harp on Erwin all summer, - or at least that’s what he told himself – that would be pathetic.

His phone vibrated in his pocket and he was not surprised to find that it was none other than the blonde in question. He never ceased to send Levi a text daily or leaving a voice message that all of which said the same thing, every text message said. That they needed to talk.

Levi tsked. They needed to talk? Could he not make this out to be so serious? The smaller male just wished the blonde would just forget about it. Levi already knew what he was going to say, ‘Levi, I’m sorry. It was a drunk mistake and I never meant for it to happen.’ Typical. He knew it had been a mistake, he knew this because he knew that Erwin liked girls. He had been flirting with one all night, there was no mistaking that. But at the same time Levi knew more than anything that what he was really dreading was hearing the words come from Erwin’s mouth, it would just make the fact all the more real. The kiss was, dare he say, amazing, hot, passionate?  – Yuck, he was becoming a sap. – He could remember it so vividly, the taste of the alcohol on his tongue, the softness of his lips. In other words, he was glad it happened and it hurt to know Erwin wish it hadn’t.

Sometime in mid-July, however, Levi finds the strength to finally confront the blonde apparently because why else would he had visited Erwin at his home, to be caroled into his room, in a rush of grabbed hands and swinging doors.

Now sitting side by side on his low firm mattress, nothing but still air between them, no words spoken. Neither knowing where to start. It had been Erwin that insisted they discuss it, he had been the one bombarding his phone constantly for the past week, he should be the one to begin. But then maybe this was his chance to sweep it under the rug before Erwin said what Levi didn’t want to hear.

Levi crossed his arms over his chest and turned to Erwin, sky blue eyes locked with his timidly.

“Let me guess--”

“Thank you for--“

They both began at once, just to stop as soon as they’d realized they had just talked over one another. The ravenette was tired of pussyfooting around and decided to take the initiative.

“I’ll go first.” The blonde just nodded, now seeming reluctant to meet the others eyes. His broad shoulders slumped low as he fiddled with his hands in his lap. What was up with that? Levi had never seen him so… apprehensive. Like a child getting ready to be scorned. “About the kiss, at the party. Let’s just forget about it.”

Erwin’s head snapped up, his face a combination of surprise and confusion. “…Forget about it?”

“Yes.”

“Is that what you want to do, just… forget about it?”

Levi was the one confused now. Yes, he wanted to forget about it, that’s what he had just said.

“What? Isn’t that what you invited me over to say? That it was a mistake that, you didn’t mean to do it?”

“Well, yes and no. Yes, it was a drunken mistake but I did mean to do it.” The blonde continued when met with a skeptical looking Levi. “How do I put this… I wanted to kiss you.”

Dark eyes rolled. “Right. Because you were drunk…”

“That’s not it, Levi. I’ve been wanting to kiss you before the party.”

He was the one to look away this time, nervous habits kicking in and no doubt red beginning to flood his cheeks. How long before the party? What was he talking about? Levi was struck dumb with how this entire conversation had shifted so immediately.

“I don’t think I understand? You wanted to kiss me? Why?”

“I don’t know, Levi. I guess because I like you...” His volume drifted to a whisper by the end of his statement finding that what he was saying sounded a lot like something a kindergartener would say.

“You like me?”

“Stop repeating everything I say.” He demanded before mumbling, “You’re really starting to freak me out,” more as a vocalized thought.

Levi’s intention wasn’t to sound like a broken record but this was all starting to sound like a bad ROMCOM and he just had to repeat it in order to justify to himself that the blonde had actually said it and that this situation was actually happening.

“I mean well correct if me if I am wrong, Erwin but aren’t you straight? That’s kind of what I am having a tough time grasping.”

Erwin turned his eyes to the blue color of his bed spread, distracting himself from having to admit this all out loud. Especially to the one person he didn’t want to be judged by. He let a nervous chuckle fly.

“Ha. That’s what I thought too. But I don’t know.” He thought of how to better explain this. Then took a deep breath. “Like I mean, when I jerk off” –

The smaller male shot his hands up, in a clear sign of ‘stop don’t go any further.’ “Uh, really you don’t have to explain that part!”

“When I jerk off,” He began again ignoring Levi’s protest. “I can get off with girls but recently I can get off on guys too. Well guys that mostly resemble you.”

“What the hell do you mean resemble me? Is this your way of saying you’ve been jerking it to thoughts of me?”

“I guess…” Erwin muttered cheeks tinted pink.

Levi swallowed thickly. “Woah…” He thought out loud. This was getting quite bazaar. He never in a million years would have believed this moment right here. If someone would have told him Erwin fucking Smith was going to admit to touching himself to the thought of Levi… well he would have decked that person in the face because who the hell says something like that to someone. Despite that, this was actually happening. And he had no idea how else to reply. I mean sure even he – regrettably – had wacked it to thoughts of Erwin once or twice… or nearly every other night but that was different, he was a sexy beast.

The blonde beside him, rubbed the back of his own neck, rather awkwardly. This was the most embarrassing moment of his life. Confessing to his best friend that he basically wants to do stuff to him. What was he thinking? He’s been asking himself this question a lot recently. The silence was gnawing, eating him alive on the inside. He need a response other than ‘woah’, not to mention the ravenette’s eyes jumped around the room like he was searching for an escape. It was heart wrenching.

“So… um. H-how do you feel about that?” He decided that was a good place to start.  

“The fuck should I know, Erwin.”

It was a lot to handle, Erwin could understand that, so he considered the possibility that It was possibly time to back pedal. Levi now thought he was a freak no doubt about that. Now the question, remained, how was he going to save some face.

“Oh god I knew you’d find it weird…”

Levi shook his head in the negative. “No, trust me. I don’t think it’s weird. I am gay after all.”

“You are?”

Nod.

“I didn’t know that? How come you never told me?”

“You never asked.” Levi deadpanned.

The blonde’s heart lifted a fraction. “Well then you understand what I am talking about.”

“Not exactly. –His heart dropped once again -- I kind of just think you’re confused, Erwin. It’s obvious you’re into girls.” Erwin opened this mouth to defend but Levi continued before he could. “Sharing a drunk kiss with a guy at a party doesn’t make you gay.”

“Well then let me kiss you now.” It was a blurted statement and the blonde had even surprised himself but continued anyways deciding to roll with it.

Levi definitely didn’t expect that response. His eyes cutting to the blues beside him, his brain not functioning enough at this point to process words so he just muttered a “Huh?!”

“You said I am confused. Help me understand. You’re right. I kissed you when I was drunk. That doesn’t mean anything but If I kissed you now while sober, and I feel the same way. That has to mean something, right?”

“I mean… possibly?” Levi wanted this badly. He wanted to believe that Erwin was into guys and better yet that Erwin was into him but being his experimental guinea pig was hardly the romantic gesture he was looking for. But hey I guess he would take what he could get. The kiss had been perfect that night, despite the tequila taste of Erwin’s tongue but it could only be better now that he was sober. He hoped.

“Then can I kiss you, Levi?”

The ravenette really didn’t want to meet the blonde’s eyes, they were large and sparkling and filled with expectation, ones he wasn’t sure he could meet. Intimidating would be an understatement but he schooled his face to indifference anyways. “… Fine. Do whatever.”

Erwin nodded once in understanding then proceeded to scoot closer to the ravenette. His eyes stayed fixed on Levi’s, an uncomfortable look of pure determination, much like Levi was a goal he was driven to accomplish in his eyes. His hand sunk into the bed behind the smaller’s back as he leaned his chest down, so they were face to face. The ravenette’s heart was easily about a thousand BPM at this point, with the close proximity, his lips already parting ever so slightly and his eyes turning down watching Erwin’s as he approached him. Just as they were about to make contact Levi jerked back scantly, hesitant and a tad uncertain about doing this but Erwin was there for reassurance, using his other hand to steady his face so their lips could touch, only slightly. Much like that haunting night of the party, the blonde was as gentle as ever, a feather-like touch, yet warm and compassionate. That same uncertainty resided in the kiss but in all, it damn well couldn’t compare. The smaller male dropped all prior concerns in favor of living in the moment, trying to keep a physical record of how the blonde tasted --really fresh, mind you-- and the feel of his lips and the little hardly audible noised coming from the back of his throat. The experience was certainly not a disappointment.

 Though within what felt like seconds – too soon – The blonde was pulling back but not all the way, just enough to meet the platinum disks of the other boy. Levi immediately looked down, the situation just felt too… intimate, he didn’t wish to admit it but there was something there. The kiss had meaning, and Erwin certainly felt something for him, if the kiss was anything to go by, especially with the primal look in Erwin’s eyes. No choice given when he dipped down and caught his lips again and this time with little warning, slipped his tongue into his mouth, roaming and rolling over the wet expanse inside. It felt weird initially, much rougher than it had been before, and it being Levi’s first time experiencing such a thing, he had no clue how to properly reciprocate, or even where to place his hands - that were still placed awkwardly in his lap - but once the blonde started to really get into it, everything seemed to come naturally. Their lips soon moving in unison, against one another’s, deeper, sloppier, more desperate. His hands had migrated to Erwin’s chest, tone even through his shirt, to his broad shoulders.

Erwin pulled away again this time for air, it was sudden and managed to pull the slightest of whimpers from Levi. He resting his forehead against the dark hair of the others as both males panted, hot and wet.

The blonde’s voice caught. “Fuck.” He choked out, ghosting his thumb over the now kiss swollen lips of the ravenette. Levi was too distracted by the moment, of how utter soft and delicious Erwin’s mouth had been to slap his hand away, which he would have done on any other occasion. And as if that gesture wasn’t disgustingly affectionate enough, he ducked down once again to mouth at the base of Levi’s throat this time. And though it felt nice – it felt pretty fucking amazing – he knew this was going a little far. He pushed back against Erwin’s chest, who to the smaller’s surprise didn’t even attempt to pull away, already appearing to be nipping and codling Levi’s collarbone.

“Erwin…” Levi warned, his voice sounding much weaker than he had intended it to, earning him a groan in response from the blonde licking at his neck. “E-Erwin,” – He tried once again to get his attention when a large palm was felt pressing against the crotch of his pants. He moaned, more so from shock than anything else, biting down on his bottom lip immediately following in embarrassment of his own noise. What was happening this isn’t what he had signed up for.

Not trusting his vocal cords at the moment, Levi actually did slap Erwin’s hand away this time, and pushed him back more forcefully.

The blonde finally -reluctantly – removed himself from the ravenette, a silly innocent – innocent, my ass -- look on his features. “What’s wrong?” his expression changed following his words, that held no concerning note whatsoever, into a foxlike smirk. “And don’t tell me you weren’t liking it.” He easily made his point by pecking at Levi’s lips, who accepted the contact hungrily. Feeling drawn to Erwin like a magnet, he was out of control.

“Do I turn you on Levi?” He teased, gesturing at the small start of an erection visible through his jeans.

“Shut up.” The ravenette muttered, chewing his lip timid. He really did not appreciate being patronized like this.

Erwin placed his hand on Levi’s knee, and gingerly mouthed at his ear, whispering flirtatiously. “I can help you out with that?”

The smaller of the two shuttered but managed to worm his way out of Erwin’s personal space. “What the fuck are you saying?”

The blonde’s usual azure ores were now significantly darker, his lips also a darker shade of pink. “I’m saying I can help you get rid of your hard-on.” He shrugs trying to make the point seem nonchalant “It’s only fair since I’m the one that caused it.” Erwin tried to seem like he was doing something righteous by offering but Levi knew him well enough to see that he had an ulterior motive. The cheeky bastard was taking pride in knowing that he had given his friend an erection. What a narcissist.

He shook his head. “Erwin, I…” – The blonde interrupted him with another kiss, then cupped his face and pierced him with a playful look, like what he was suggesting was something of a joke. “Just don’t think about it so much. I want to do this.”

“Why?”

Erwin doesn’t really respond vocally, instead he pushes himself off the bed and onto his knees, spreading Levi’s thighs and giving each a peck. That stupid smug look of his never leaving his face.

 Levi could already feel his heartbeat pick up significantly. “Hey, I haven’t agreed to any of this!”

“Yeah well you aren’t exactly pushing me away either.” He countered, his hand going up to palm at Levi’s groin, making his insides stir. “Tell me Levi, do you want me to stop?”

The ravenette knew that if he were to open his mouth at this moment he would no doubt end up embarrassing himself with some obscene noise. So he kept quiet, trying to keep his breathing even. But at the same time hitting him with the most challenging glare he could muster under the circumstances.

The blonde huffed a laugh, - furthering Levi’s annoyance – stopping his rubbing in favor of unbuttoning and unzipping the other boy’s pants, he pulled them down slim thighs and left them pooled at his ankles while he went back to do the same with his boxers.

What had first been half-hard after the kiss had grown to being fully erect with Erwin’s prior ministrations. He hissed when his heated flesh was exposed to the cool air of the room, and probably the nervousness that came with showing someone your genitals for the first time, had much to do with the chill on his body as well. The blonde ignored it for the time being, lifting Levi’s shirt a fraction to pepper his skin there with wet kisses.

Levi was surprised with how comfortable Erwin seemed to be. For someone who just trying to come to terms with their sexuality, he looked to have no problem with Levi’s cock being exposed and inches away from his face. Had he done this before?

Erwin answered the ravenette’s unasked question, a moment after licking a stride up his shaft experimentally, making Levi’s toes curl in his shoes, a pained jolt running up his spine. He bit into his lip again, to stifle a moan. He hadn’t expected Erwin to go in with his tongue so suddenly.

“Did that feel good? I’ve never really done this so you’re going to have to tell me what you like.”

He pumped his hand against the soft skin a few times before licking at his shaft some more. Levi quivered, with every new angle or kiss or suck the blonde offered him but fought greatly with himself not to succumb to the pleasure vocally. He’d never in his life been touched in such a way, and though he tries to act as though he was above it, he knew even the strongest of people couldn’t deny such sensations. He pressed back against the blonde anyways taking all of his will power to do so. “Just tell me why…” He crooned.

Erwin pulled back, licking the line of saliva from his lips, and looked up to meet Levi’s eyes which appeared to be focused on him but yet still already slightly glazed over in lust. “Like I said. I can’t stop thinking about you, imaging how you’d be in this situation. And now I don’t have to imagine. I finally get to see you in a way no one else ever has.”

He slipped Levi’s cock back between his lips not even a second after finishing his reply, doing exactly as he said he would.

Watching, memorizing his every countenance, getting great pleasure out of seeing the smaller start to lose himself. He could already feel the throbbing in his cock and how despite the fact that he hadn’t been sucking him for long, pre-cum was already beginning to bead at his head. Just wanting to witness more from the ravenette, Erwin took his whole shaft down his throat and hallowed his cheek, slurping slightly in a way he’d thought would feel good. His instinct must had been right, -- and the shit ton of porn he’d watched recently -- because it earned him a broken sob, one the other tried desperately to cease from coming out of his mouth. The blonde chuckled at this, the vibrations causing another sob to slip.

In no time at all, Erwin had come to find that every different service was responded to in a multitude of different ways. Licking beneath his engorged head made the ravenette wince and roll his hips, while sucking on exclusively the tip made him gasp and groan, really loudly, and buck intermittently while rubbing his balls at the same time made him whine in the highest pitch he’s ever heard from him, all of which was music to his ears, a symphony of pleasure.

“Oh Fuck!” Levi sputtered and chocked out a moan, sinking onto his back. “Your mouth, Fuck!” The blonde’s own cock twitched in his pants with the wrecked voice of his best friend. Withering on his back from the things he was doing to him with his tongue. His pelvis combatted Erwin’s own pace jerking upward, seek warmth every time he pulled back. It came to the point where he had to anchor his hips or the little raven would surely choke him.

Levi was forced to arch his back when Erwin had forced his hips down, wanting nothing more at this point then to cum all over Erwin and his beautiful chiseled face. Images of it flooded his mind with the notion, he pictured the blonde with white smeared across his full red lips having it drip down his chin and run across his shirtless body, could hear him saying how good he tasted. Uh, he wanted that badly. Ironically, he could imagine it all in his head so perfectly but was too scared to open his eyes, to see the blonde actually sucking him, to reach his end. He gasped and whimpered more now, lost in the bliss that was the blonde’s hot, wet mouth.

“Levi, I really like the noises you make.” A whimper was his response. Loving but yet also hating hearing Erwin’s voice, feeling his hot breath and soft lips tickling his cock every time he did. “Tell me when you’re going to come.”

“Soon… so fucking soon.” He managed through trembling lips. His body was ablaze, his skin slick with a thin layer of sweat from the effort of staving off his release. It felt so amazing that he didn’t want it to end. He could be perfectly content with nothing but Erwin’s mouth for the rest of his life. “Mmm … uh. I-I’m gonna come!”

Erwin pulled off just in time to watch the withering mess of the smaller male cry out as he shot streaks of white across his own stomach. He continued to pant, heavily as if he was starved for air as the blonde crawls back up onto the bed to feast his eyes on the post orgasmic face of his smaller companion. The way he was easily the shade of a tomato, with his jet black tresses in disarray and his gray eyes glossy and dazed. He leaned over to kiss him and the smaller reciprocated greedily, still groaning and heaving against his mouth like it was all he could do to ground himself.

Erwin still totally hard himself from the lewd display Levi had put on, let his own hand trail into his boxers mid-kiss and began to jerk himself off. He got himself so worked up while sucking the ravenette off that he knew it wouldn’t take very long for him to finish. He hissed through his teeth at finally being able to relieve himself, leaving Levi’s lips to mouth hotly at his throat. Stroking and rocking his hips in his hand. He pressed the tip against the mess and soft skin of the ravenette’s stomach and met his end, shuttering and spilling into his palm so not as to sully Levi any more. Not knowing what else to do and not wanting to ruin the blissful moment by taking a trip to the bathroom, he merely whipped it on his jeans and rolled off the other onto his back. Both males not moving as they tried to slow their breathing.

* * *

 

      After the trial kiss turned blowjob, Levi and Erwin kind of automatically became a thing. They hung out even more, if that were possible, but really just ended up doing things they’d normally do as friends, just with the added joy of knowing they were actually more than that. Much like watching _The Walking Dead_ and Levi kicking Erwin’s ass at COD on Xbox one at Erwin’s place, though other tasks tended to sneak into their ordinary routine. Such as kissing every time someone got captured by the enemy during the show or playing strip king of the hill, where they’d have to strip off an article of clothing every time their character was killed by the other. It was safe to say that most their couple’s games included death of some sort and Erwin getting buck naked. Though the blonde didn’t seem to mind, as he knew very well that he was quite a tall glass of water. And Levi had no issue with getting to ogle the hard muscles of his boyfriend either, … now that he actually could.

Their relationship wasn’t publicized, this being something they had both agreed on. They did know how it would affect they’re image if people knew, plus it made for some very interesting inside jokes and in school text conversations. You wouldn’t think by looking at Levi, but he was quite a ruthless flirt over text, making a point to message Erwin some dirty statement, just to see his reaction during class. The blonde would smile and pretend it didn’t have any effect on him just to touch himself to the very message as soon as he arrived home. His libido had been off the charts since that one day, though he hadn’t touched Levi like that since then, not once. He wanted to, God knows he wanted to but he didn’t want to make Levi uncomfortable, didn’t want to push him too far.

Needless to say, his father was a little suspicious that he spent most if not all of his time with Levi, in his room. And that he’d stopped spending time with Nile and Mike. He knew his father would never jump to the conclusion of him being romantic with another boy but he’s accusations were still outwardly and offensive when he was referring to someone he cared so much for. 

“I don’t know what’s going on with you, Erwin. Does that kid have something on you? Are you being blackmailed?” Were just a few of the statements Mr. Smith had suggested, about his friend and recent partner. So it goes unsaying that he continued to hide Levi from him as well. The greatest thing about the ravenette was that he didn’t seem to care. He never talked to really anyone at school and he wasn’t keen on tell his own family he was gay, so the sneaking around wasn’t the biggest deal to him but to be honest, it really got to Erwin sometimes. Like when he’d see couples in public, getting all cozy in the school halls, - like seriously, get to class you sluts – or having to lie to his parents when they asked him if he was interested in any girls.

“It doesn’t bother you at all?” Erwin questioned against the collarbone of his boyfriend, his sweet breath ghosting over his skin.

They were once again on their sanction that was the couch of Erwin’s living room, trying to will themselves through the season finale of The Walking Dead, -seriously it was slowly getting harder and harder to watch this show - and the blonde was inquiring yet again about Levi’s feelings. He believed the ravenette was okay with a private relationship and he’d told him time after time it wasn’t a big deal but Erwin would hate himself if it actually was a big deal and Levi was just lying to him.

The smaller of the two sighed dramatically, his eyes leaving the screen to roll up to the ceiling. “If I had known you’d be such a whiner. I never would have agreed to date you.” He muttered grumpily his gaze falling back on the television screen though it was obvious he wasn’t actually watching.

The blonde smiled to himself, pressing his cheek to his shoulder. “It’s not like you agreed to begin with. But I can tell you love every second we spend together.”

“Yeah you keep telling yourself that.”

“I will.” He whispered, getting even closer to lick and lay wet kisses against the pale throat in front of him. Levi shuttered with the contact, placing his hand to Erwin’s face and pushing him away. With little effort as to get the blonde away from him not necessarily to hurt him, yet.

“God, Erwin. You always manage to leave marks that are difficult to explain. With how obvious you are I’m surprised everyone is still acting all obliv” – Erwin interrupted his statement with an open mouth kiss, licking the inside of his mouth, and nipping at his plump lower lip. Once again, the ravenette had to pry him off. Wiping his mouth with his shirt sleeve, and fixing the other with a vex stare.

“God you horny swine!”

Erwin seemed to have found the statement funny because he laughed a hearty deep from his chest kind of noise, nearly mirthful. “I think you might have described every teenage boy … ever.”

Levi crossed his arms over his chest. “Why have you been so touchy today? What if your dad walks in?”

A pair of strong hands grasped slim hips and pulled the smaller male, on top. Leaving Levi now straddling, the blonde’s waist. He didn’t protest the shift in position, but kept his arms crossed, as though trying desperately to keep some of his grandeur as if he weren’t sitting on another boy’s crotch. “My parents are on vacation. Or business trip… or some shit. All I know is they aren’t here.”

The ravenette nodded, leaning forward to better meet blue eyes and unfolding his arms to finger Erwin’s hair absent mindedly. “That definitely explains it. You would never risk being caught. Your dad would kill you.”

The blonde leaned up on his elbows, kissing his hand when it slipped from his tresses. “Yeah, he would do worse than kill me. He’d disown me.”

“For being with a guy?”

“For being with you.”

Levi scoffed. “What does he have against me?”

Erwin shrugged, smoothing the palm of his hand, down the thighs on either side of him. “I don’t know and I don’t really care because in just a few months it won’t matter.”

A stun look was given as response and he could feel Levi’s body stiffen. “W-what’s in a few months?”

 Erwin sighed.

“Graduation, babe.” He replied, lifting his hand to stroke Levi’s cheek, gentle in an endearing way but it did nothing to ease Levi’s bloomed annoyance. It was slapped away immediately.

“Call me that again, I’ll wax off one of your eyebrows in your sleep.”

The blonde chose to ignore him, instead continuing on with his plan. “Once we graduate, you and I will be free, no more having to sneak around parents or peers. We’ll attend college together and move into an apartment. And live our lives happily ever after.”

This uneased Levi but he didn’t show it, opting to instead roll his dark eyes, smirking playfully. “You are such a fucking sap.”

“I think a better name would be Prince Charming.”

“Uhg I am not being Cinderella. She was such a whiny bitch. There are a lot of people with no parent’s and they sure as hell aren’t living in a mansion.”

Erwin guffawed, having to hold his stomach to do so and causing Levi to shake above him. Then the smaller surprised even himself by leaning down, and pressing his lips to the blondes. He was so gorgeous and his laugh just did something to Levi. He couldn’t explain it. Strong arms pulled him flesh against his chest.

And the ravenette stayed laying in his arms after ending the kiss.

“This is why I like you so much, you always make me laugh… well I mean that and you’re looks.” Erwin mumbled into the sweet smelling black tresses of Levi’s hair.

“My looks?”

“Yes, you are so pretty.”

The smaller body pulled away slightly, an expression bordering repulsion cross his features. “You think I’m pretty?” He deadpanned.

Erwin smiled goofily, before nodding. “Like with your dark hair, and gray eyes and slim built”

“You just called me a skinny emo vampire.”

A laugh. “A very hot skinny emo vampire.”

Levi pouted, something he only ever allowed himself to do in front of Erwin, and only recently, causing the other to sigh contently, his cerulean eyes taking on a new warmth. “Can you really blame me for always wanting to kiss and hold you?”

Levi’s eyes widened, a familiar yet sickening heat rising to his cheeks. He turned away, breaking eye contact in the hopes it would stop the fluttering in his chest, however it was to no avail. “Yeah well what about you?” He asked, trying to desperately to shift the center of attention.

“What about me?”

“Everyone knows you’re like the hottest person at school.”

Now Erwin looked surprised. – Like what the fuck, really? –

“Do people say that?”

“Are you seriously going to sit here and act like you didn’t already know?”

“I didn’t.” A cocky smirk slowly stretched his face, “People think I’m hot?”

Levi let his head fall back against the blonde’s chest in a show of disbelief.

“Sometimes I ask myself how the hell you can be so smart and yet so stupid at the same time.” He spoke which came out muffled, by Erwin’s pectoral muscles.

“It’s a gift.”

* * *

 

     Levi stocked his way to the front gates of the school, gripping a single bloomed flower in his hand. Evidentially it had fallen out of his locker earlier today to his complete horror. No note, no explanation, just a lone blur of purple, pink and green dropping to the floor by his feet whilst everyone else nearby stopped and stared at it with piqued interest. And now the rumors may commence, he’d thought sourly to himself. And they had. The whole school abuzz about who the ravenette’s secret admirer could be and why they would want anything to do with him. But Levi knew better. There was no doubt in his mind of where the flower had come from, one of which he couldn’t even decipher by first glance, and he was going to get his explanation.

Erwin was waiting at their usual meet up spot his hands anchored in his pockets as he rocking back and forth on his toes. His face seemed to express deep thought till he caught a glimpse of Levi heading his way which caused a stupidly happy smile to spread across his features. The ravenette narrowed his eyes further in irritation as he approached. Did Erwin really think it was okay for him to just do stuff like this, because it wasn’t. What would people think? Sure now they had no idea because they were all idiots but it was only a matter of time before people caught on to how much time he and the blonde spent together. He really didn’t need Erwin expediting the process.

“Hey.” He exclaimed joyously, leaning down to give the short male a kiss but he was shoved away hastily before he could even come close.

Levi looked around skeptically, making sure no one was around to see that. Luckily for him, most the students had already dispersed. He turned his glared back to the blonde.

“Have you lost your mind?”

“…” Erwin stared back at him, eyes wide with child-like innocence in response to the shorter male’s question.

“We are still in school, and also what the living fuck is this?” He thrust the offending object into the blonde’s face.

“Well it appears to be a flower… more specifically.” He scratched his chin thoughtfully. “I’d guess a gladiolus.” Way to just incriminate yourself, thought Levi.

“Don’t patronize me, Erwin. I know it’s a goddamn flower. But why the hell did you put it in my locker?”

 “What makes you think I put it in your locker? Seems to me like you have a secret admirer.”

Levi took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his slim nose trying to calm his eternal rage.

“You do realize I am the one that pointed out that you are incapable of meeting someone’s eyes when you’re lying? You are easily the worse liar I know, not to mention you are the only other person with the combination, so I’ll ask again.” He stepped closer trying to be intimidating even though Erwin had a foot on him in height. “Why did you put a flower in my locker?” He spoke with a low pinched voice.

Erwin finally caved, a pinkness that no one else but Levi would notice making its way to his cheeks.

“I didn’t want to make a big deal but…” He leaned down but this time just to whisper close to Levi’s ear.  “Today is our year anniversary.”

Levi pushed him to arm’s length once again.

“How? We’ve only been dating for like four months?”

“It’s the anniversary of the first time I spoke to you. Right here.” He pointed to his feet for emphasize.

“You remember the day?”

“I wrote about it in my journal.”

“You have a fucking diary?” Levi accused, though the smirk on his lips gave way to the humor underlying his words.

“No, I have a journal.”

The ravenette shook his head having no words to speak, he walked past Erwin and began heading out the school gates, gladiolus still tight in his grasp. The other smiled internally, needed no command to fall in step behind him.

They wound up in Erwin’s bed, which had been happening a lot lately, limbs tangled with one another and faces pressed firmly together. It always started the same, slow, gentle, simple but more often than not it ended desperate, rough with their heightened teen hormones, leaving them both panting on the crisp sheets of the bed. But that’s about all that would happen. Nothing had gotten past a handsy make out session. If asked Levi wouldn’t admit it was due to fear, it had more to do with the repercussions that came with such a connection. He knew they were dating but what would it mean if they were in an active sexual relationship? The question crossed his mind more often lately, often because despite him thinking of himself as asexual for a bit, he couldn’t deny that as soon as he started seeing Erwin and after the one time, he had given him a blowjob, he’d actually wanted to be involved with him.

Today, however, it felt different, everything did. Levi didn’t necessarily take the initiative to bring the kiss further than where it was opposed to other times. Instead they stayed somewhere in the middle. A steady pace, not too depraved yet not entirely slow either. A subtle lust behind every touch of skin.

“…Shit.” Erwin sighed ending the kiss abruptly, pulling back lips swollen and glossy with salvia. He rolled off of the ravenette’s prone form and onto his side, already feeling an erection stirring. “I’m already at the point, Levi. If I keep going I am not certain I’ll be able to stop.”

The small of the two numbly pulled the taller blonde’s face back to his, enacting another searing kiss. “Then don’t stop.” He mumbled against his lips. He hesitated for a second, had those words come from him? It sounded like something he himself would never say and yet they had indeed left his mouth.

Erwin pulled away once again, a look of equal surprise on his face. He licked his lips and ran his fingers through his mane of golden blonde hair, his blue eyes even more clear in the afternoon light slipping through the cracks of his bedroom windows.

“Wait seriously?” He pants out.

Levi nods petting Erwin’s face, running the pads of his fingers over his thick eye brows, down the straight slope of his nose and tracing the sharp angles of his jaw line. Every feature hard and proportionate, a freaking angel if he’d ever seen one.

“…H-how far?”

Levi shrugs. “I guess we’ll see.”

“Fuck, I knew the flower would work.” That infamous goofy smile, Levi hated/loved breaking out across his face as he spoke the words.

The ravenette rolled his platinum ores. “Erwin, don’t ruin this. It has nothing to do with your shitty excuse for a romantic gesture.”

“You sure about that?”

He shrugged once more, moving his lips to the blonde’s throat, nipping teasingly at the sensitive skin there. The male shuttered in response to Levi’s needy contact and attention. It wasn’t something that happened often, or ever. “I don’t know… I’ve been thinking about it for a while.” He confessed between kisses. His hands slipped up to graze the undercut of Erwin’s hair. “You are just about the only person I can tolerate, and call it teen hormones but I’ve been quite horny lately.”

Erwin wrapped his arms around the smaller’s waist and pulled him closer to his body, his knee bending to rest in between Levi’s thighs, pressing up against the start of his clothed hard-on. It, in turn, making the smaller groan lightly against the blonde’s Adam’s apple.

His voice was heady in his response. “Well I am always horny around you.”

Despite the cheesiness of his statement, - that regrettably turned Levi on even more - he allows Erwin yet another kiss, enjoying the possessiveness behind his every touch. The way his large hands grasp and caress his waist, and how vulnerable he seems to feel in his hold. These feelings were unfamiliar, but giving into them was a very easy thing to do, once faced with the pleasure that would come of it. He licked the ravenette’s lips then lifted his eye lids slightly, a lusty look being the outcome. The darkened hue there sent a stream of warmth over his entire body. He felt hot, he wanted to rid himself of his clothing in hopes it would rid him of the steaming, suffocated feeling from the blonde’s gaze.

“The things I want to do to you right now.” Erwin crooned, though Levi could feel the wet heat of his words on his ear more than he could hear them. The blonde only seemed to ever talk like this in his fantasies, where he would be sucking Levi off like he did that one time, moaning and staring at him with his piercing blue eyes while he whispered dirty shit in his ear. Things like how good he was or how much he enjoyed tasting him on his tongue or even –when the ravenette was feeling really horny – how much he wanted to be inside him. Levi tingled with the thoughts, rubbed himself against the thick thigh between his own, in search of some kind of relief. Rutting on him like some kind of bitch in heat, Levi was repulsed by himself but also too far gone, the friction from his jeans too delicious for him to care. Big hands ran down slim sides and cupped firm cheeks, each the perfect size for Erwin’s palms, the smaller male’s breath caught. “F-uuucckk. Do it then.” He growled into the fabric of the blonde’s shirt.

Erwin smiled, his lips dragging across the flushed skin of his neck. “I’ve never heard you like this. You must really want my …”—

“ERWIN?”

Blue eyes widened; whilst Gray eyes rolled, a groan proceeding.

“Shit.” The taller of the two huffed under his breath, extracting himself from the other and racing to his door.  Levi whined, having lost his means of satisfaction and warmth. He sat up and looked around himself like he had just been dreaming and was unsure how he’d gotten there. The heated atmosphere had so quickly left, it’s like it hadn’t even been there to begin with.

Cracking the door to his bedroom open he yelled his reply back, “I’m in my room. Be down in a minute.”

He replaced the door and its lock. Turning to the ravenette with an apologetic expression.

Levi knew immediately. Swinging his legs off the bed, taking deep breaths to slow his still racing heart. He was just so ready and so turned on, he still was, it sucked for it to have to end this way. And now he knew he’d have to finish himself once he made it home. He stood, avoiding Erwin’s eyes and grabbed his bag from beside the bed.

“Levi. I’m sorry, I”—

“It’s not that big of a deal. We can’t exactly have sex with your parent’s home.”

Erwin heart skipped with Levi’s words. They had hinted to where it was going, but to actually hear Levi say sex, was stimulating.

The blonde crossed the room to stand in front of his boyfriend, cradling his face to share a final kiss. Levi allowed it even though it did nothing to help his half mass shaft.

“My parent’s will be gone next weekend. Maybe we could try again then?”

The ravenette feathered his digits through his short cut black hair, trying to fix whatever had become of it while rolling around on Erwin bed before giving him a single nod of his head. It was enough of an answer for the blonde.

Perhaps his parent’s interruption was heaven sent because in the time following, more specifically later that night when he was trying to get off, he realized how grossly unprepared he was. He had watched enough porn to ultimately understand the overall mechanics of sex with another guy but that was about it. Was it enough? It had become very evident that that grumpy male was very important to him, and so making sure he could please Levi was all Erwin could think about.

He dedicated the following few days to gathering the necessary supplies and knowledge for his first time with him. He wanted everything to be perfect. That included the awkward drug store visit that consisted of him walking up and down the sexual health section for a good 30 minutes whilst trying to avoid all the uncomfortable looks he’d get from customers and employees alike. But then it was all going to be worth it and in no time at all the week came to an end.

The succeeding weekend, it didn’t take long to pick up where they had left off prior. Levi had come over to his place after school where he was once again close in his arms, things already taking a turn for the hot and heavy. This time, however, they were occupying Erwin’s living room couch, because his parents were gone so who the hell cared.

He was in the middle of laying the finishing touches on the purple mark on the ravenette’s neck when he spoke the words, Erwin had been waiting to hear. “bedroom?” He had smiled pecking against his pulse point one last time before scooping him up in his arms. Levi gave him a wordless warning with his sharp eyes but subsequently allowed himself to be carried anyways.

Their continual kissing succeeding in blinding him, as the blonde stumbled through the door of his room. It was early in the evening so the sun was still shinning bright outside but inside, with the curtains drawn and the candles alight Erwin had manifested quite the romantic scene, or at least that’s what he had thought. Levi, however, being brought into such an intimate display, felt his fight or flight instinct coming about. He pulled away from Erwin, who brought the smaller male down to his feet to really feast his eyes on the entirety of the bedroom he had become familiar with for the past year. Erwin’s room was usually spotless but more so today, with Levi not being able to identify a single thing out of place or any neglected dust bunnies in sight like usual. The bed was all made and cream probably vanilla scented candles dotted every surface, casting a soft glow along the walls. The ravenette could feel his eye twitch with a nauseating feeling clawing up his veins.

Fire blazed behind his glare as he turned to the tall blonde hoping he would spontaneously combust within the impregnated silence between them. “…What the living fuck?”

Erwin was caught off guard by the other’s reaction, but decided to try and sate the worry hidden behind his eyes. “Don’t be that way, Levi.” He grumbled, bringing his lips close to the other male’s, very much intending to steal a kiss but Levi stopped him with a well-placed hand, covering his mouth completely. The twitch and crazed look in his eyes hadn’t changed.

“Get. rid of. These. candles.”

A muffled--“But I”— came from between his fingers.

“Get rid of these candles now or I’ll leave. And I swear to you, Erwin, I will not come back.”

Erwin sighed heavily, his whole body slouching forward in a clear sign of defeat as he journeyed around his room putting out all the scented illumined candles and stuffing them in his drawers out of sight. In the meantime, Levi made himself comfortable on the bed. His heart pounded under the weight of how Erwin was perceiving this night to be. The gesture was too much for Levi to handle, so like other things he didn’t know how to deal with, he pushed it aside and treated it with apathy.

“You hopeless romantic piece of shit.” He muttered.

The tall blonde, turned around once he’s rid the room of the romance, leaving it dark and bland. To eradicate some of the reduced atmosphere, he adjusted the blinds, allowing for a little more light to shine though.

“Too much?” Erwin offered, half-heartedly. He knelt onto the mattress and crawled towards to center where Levi was laying. Arms crossed, and face prude. He countered with a snarky, “You think?”.

“I’m sorry” Erwin mumbled. He angled his body over Levi’s leaning down to grant him with an apologetic nip to his jaw, right below his ear. It was also right above the mark he’d given earlier. He enjoyed leaving hickeys on Levi, loved when people asked the ravenette where he’d got them and having him get grumpy and flustered in public. He was unenthusiastic, to say the least, not reciprocating when he’d tried to spread affection but, nibbling his collarbone, it being a very sensitive spot, had him squirming and back in the mood in no time at all.

Levi wanted to put up more of a fight, he really did, but how could he? The blonde was big and gentle and warm, his tongue wet and teasing on his jaw and neck, trying to coat every part of visible skin on his face and décolletage with kisses, avoiding his lips of course, it was a sensational feeling. He grinded his teeth trying to hide his growing impatience and growing need, being smart enough to know that Erwin was doing this purposefully because he wanted the ravenette to lose all control. Within the moment of that thought, however, despite his awareness of Erwin’s games, Levi couldn’t stop from squirming in his grasp, clawing his hands absentmindedly at the blonde’s T-shirt trying to pull him closer. His body was still angled to the side making him feel a mile away.

A smug smirk ensued and Levi nearly growled with the others triumph in ensnarling him in his web.

“Eager, are we?”

Small hands dug into blonde locks, forcing hunger lips onto his own equally hunger lips, more than happy when tongues and teeth are added to the mix. Erwin had to shift weight in order to properly, receive this kiss, having to climb over and wiggle his large body in between Levi’s slim parted thighs.

The smaller had no qualms about letting the blonde closer though especially when it came to being in the middle of his legs, finally having where he wanted him to be. Making it easier for him to grind his hips against Erwin’s front, which he did; a subtle back and forth motion progressing to a circular one, that drove the blonde wild. He pulled back slightly to groan deeply on Levi’s lips before he slips one of his hands down to cease his movement, having to balance his weight on one arm to do so.

“Levi, stop that. It feels way too good.”

“That’s the point.”

Erwin shook his head in the negative, “No. I want to take this slow.”

The ravenette blew air through his nose, humphing. Erwin was such a sap but he knew better than to argue when he was like this, instead he nodded.

Large hands smoothed down his chest, Levi’s heart tangibly fluttering, as they ghosted further past his stomach and slipped under the hem of his shirt, feeling the lean muscle on his bare abdomen, a heated mouth back under his jaw. Erwin lifted Levi’s shirt up over his stomach after, then ultimately over his head, throwing it in a heap on the floor.

This action bothered, the ravenette as all he could think about for that split moment was how freaking wrinkled his shirt was going to be but the thought quickly escaped him when kisses found their way onto the alabaster skin of his stomach. Enjoying the sound of Erwin humming content, leaving marks across the pale expanse.

“You have a sexy body.” He pants, trying to keep his voice controlled but overall having a difficult time doing so.

Levi scoffs weakly, blood rushing to his cheeks with the comment. It was always weird getting complements from Erwin. He never thought he was anything special in comparison to someone like him. He was tall and broad, very unlike Levi’s own short and slight frame. He was pretty positive his body type ranked somewhere opposite of the term ‘sexy.’

Erwin eases up a bit but only to respond. “What? You don’t believe me?” His lips went back to busying themselves with his skin, muttering. “Always wearing that hoodie, so I’d have to use my imagination to get what I really wanted.”

His torso throbbed with the statement, it always got him hot to imagine Erwin thinking about him in such a prerogative way.

“But your jeans…” Levi swallowed thickly, listening to the deep voice filling his head but hated what it was doing to him. “The way your ass looks in your jeans.”

“You really enjoy hearing yourself talk, huh?”

Erwin chuckled, but didn’t respond in words.

He migrates up and around, taking the time to explore his body, tasting his skin, his tongue leaving wet trails, that felt like acid, hot and burning, though the real reaction came when it ran over one dusty nipple. He flinched back when Levi gasped. He hadn’t been expecting such a response, for a moment he had genuinely thought he had hurt the man. His eyes locked with Erwin’s for a second, before he dipped down again to experimentally wrap his lips around the same nipple. Once again, Levi’s reaction was nothing short of shocking, this time it had him moaning behind gritting teeth.

“Are you sensitive here, Levi?” He teased, now pinching both, one between each thumb and index finger, tweaking them gently, still earning vocal recompense. Embarrassment was present on the ravenette’s features, every time a noise slipped, every time his body contorted a little more. A good chunk of time was spent, Erwin mouthing at each one till he had the man squirming, his nipples swollen and peaked.

He worked on his pants next, unbuckling his belt and tugging it from its loops and chucking the jean material down the ravenette’s legs. Feasting his eyes on the tented boxers beneath, licking the swell of his own bottom lip in arousal. It never ceased to please him, when he realizes how horny he was capable of making Levi. It was flattering really. The one person who never showed their true self to anyone found him comfortable enough to reveal that and much more.

Curling forward, he planted a gentle kiss to the hardness beneath his underwear, a smile gracing his lips when Levi instinctively bucked upward, a few inches short from hitting him in the face.

He chuckles deeply, the attraction heavy in his voice. “Do you want it that badly?” His breath is hot and seeps through the thin boxers, Levi’s head falling back and his thighs spreading further was all the answer the blonde needed.

“Do you want it in my mouth?” He mocked further, watching the other’s every movement from under his lashes.

Levi mumbled something close to ‘fuck you’, against the arm he’d swung over his mouth. The wrecked tone only succeeding in humoring Erwin more.

“Is that a yes?”

He dipped his fingertips into the waistband of him underwear, still pressing kisses to the fabric. He wanted to see Levi beg for his mouth, for his tongue, for his release, wanted to see him wrecked like before. Small digits combed into his scalp and he mulled, rolling his hips against Erwin’s face, uncertainty lingered in his touch as he clutched and released the hair on his head. Ultimately pulling the blonde away won out and so obediently pulling back, he looked up to meet Levi’s eyes. Sitting up, he pushed Erwin’s hand entirely away from his crotch.

The blonde did the same, keeping his eyes on him but raising a brow inquisitively. At first confused by his refusal to continue but then no longer caring when he noticed how beautifully sinful Levi looked. Sitting straight now really allowed him to view him without the obstructed view he had when nuzzling his clothed hard-on. His grays were clouded and blown so wide they were nearly black, different shades of pink blotched his skin, he could even identify the difference in his breathing. He’d only ever seen Levi like this one other time, it being when he’s sucked him to completion a few months back but now he was ethereal, his skin glowing under the orange of the setting sun, his hair taking on a silvery hue. He seemed to be a completely different person.

“Why am I always the only one naked?” He muses.

Thick eyebrows raise once again. “Is this your way of saying you want me naked?” He gave a cheeky grin, placing a kiss to his partner’s lips then stood confidently up from the bed. Levi stayed on the mattress, dark ores scanning his frame as Erwin began to undress.

He takes the back collar of his shirt, and pulls it forward over his head as slowly as he could muster, trying to give Levi a show. His biceps flexed with the effort, hard muscle being exposed inch by inch.

“Fuck…” the sighed curse came from the bed, followed by an audible swallow, the other looking in awe as the blonde let the shirt fall amongst the other clothing littering the floor. He fingered his hand through his hair, seeming to be completely unaware of just how sexy he was, but Levi knew all too well. His eyes had gotten even more blue as it got darker in the room, the casted shadows dipping into the valleys of his abdominal muscles making them even more prominent. He was a teenager with the appearance of a full-grown man.

“What the fuck do your parents feed you to get you so big?”

Erwin shrugs, flipping open the front button of his jeans and unzipped the seam. He shimmies them down his legs, kicking them off, his hand skimming across his body and down over his boxers. At first he touches himself through the material, tantalizing, before it slips inside. The action is hidden from view with his boxers in the way but it didn’t take a genius to imagine what Erwin was doing to himself, his clear eyes glued to Levi the entire time. A groan from the back of his throat fills the empty space and the next thing Levi knew his hand had snaked into his own pants, pulling on his own cock greedily. His eyes fluttered but he fought to keep his gaze on Erwin. Their stare strong – though I little unfocused - as they continued to jerk themselves off.

A hot, open mouthed kiss is given when Erwin makes it back over to the bed. A strong grasp, pulls them both back to the center of it, rocking against one another. Levi’s palm slipping to golden locks, while Erwin’s hands rove over taunt skin to cup at his firm cheeks, using his strength to press their clothed erections closer together. It felt so good but as the same time not nearly as good as he wanted. It was a scratch to the surface, it wasn’t close enough, lacked the feel of skin or warmth.

“Shit.” He choked, “I want to feel it inside you.”

Levi moaned urgently, in Erwin’s mouth, pulling his leg over his hip and bucking up against him more.  

Erwin tried to catch his breath, leaning over the other to pull some items from his night stand drawer. Though the longer he spent, the more Levi realized the ridiculously amount he was producing.

He looked between them, where the blonde had piled it, stacks of multi-colored bottles. “What is all this, Erwin?”

Before he could reply, he spent some time looking through the contents, “Hm… well I had to get lube.”

“Oh right because we will definitely need this much.” The sarcasm was heavy on his tongue, the frantic needy feeling having simmered at this point.

“No, there was just so many different kinds.”

“And you couldn’t decide on one?”

“Well I felt it unfair to decide. I thought you should.”

Levi resisted the urge, to massage his temples because of Erwin’s dumb antics.

Erwin lifted a few and read from each, “Okay, we got oil-based, silicone-based, strawberry, raspberry and blue berry flavored, there’s”—

He snatched each bottle as the blonde read them out, spitting his own commentary of no, more no’s and hell no’s, taking each one and tossing it off the bed. The oil-based was too greasy, the silicone was too messy, the flavors were probably disgusting, every thuds emphasizing his distaste and complete rejection of each product.

“That leaves, water-based.”

“Well that’s that. Are we going to use it or are we going to have to decide on what choice of condoms next?” His hands folded over his chest, obviously expecting Erwin to get his ass in full gear, hoping they could make it through the night without another mood killer like this but the deer caught in headlights look he saw on his face told otherwise. “…What?”

“I knew I forgot something.”

Levi bolted upright. “You forgot condoms?”

“Well…” –

“You bought sixty bottle of lube but forgot…” He trailed off, being met with a despondent look and newly downcast blue eyes. He sighed instead, even though he often said he hated the blonde’s goofy smile, he hated his frown more. It had become apparent that Erwin had tried to put a lot of thought behind this night, and though the idea did irritate Levi – because sex wasn’t that big a deal – he just couldn’t get upset with Erwin for trying.

“We don’t have to”—

“I want to.” Levi spoke.

Cerulean eyes roved over his countenance, skeptically. “Really?”

The ravenette nodded, pulling himself up closer to him in a kneeling position and kissed him. He cared about Erwin and he wanted him to know this but he didn’t want to say it in words, so that would have to do.

“You trust me?” Erwin whispered against his lips. Once again he nodded, and Erwin’s smile was back. Levi chest throbbed momentarily, distracting himself from having to look at his face by giving him another kiss.

“Get on your hands and knees.”

Levi obeyed his request, feeling the warmth return to his cock, when a pair of lips began to cascade down his spine, starting from the nape of neck. Erwin, bent over him, one strong hand anchored at his hip, the bulge in his pants noticeably grazing his ass. He let his head drop down between his shoulders, and pushed back coercing a hiss from the other. The action was short lived as Erwin sat back on his knees, completely out of Levi’s view. He knew he was there though, large hands grasping his cheeks.

He kneaded, lovingly before peeling the fabric away entirely. Goosebumps broke out over the smaller’s body now completely naked and completely exposed. It was such a beyond awkward feeling, especially so, when Erwin spread him open. Levi bit down on his bottom lip, trying not to think about what the blonde could possibly be doing back there. Just looking at his fucking hole like if it were a movie?

Erwin was, in fact, examining him, toying, pulling it apart watching it clutch, he was entranced by it. He pressed is thumb to the pucker,after, hearing the faint whimper, the subtle almost overlooked rock back.

With the snap of a bottle cap, and squelch sound, Erwin coated his fingers and Levi’s hole generously.

He started with a single finger, it was tight and it had Levi gasping at first knuckle.

“Does it hurt? Should I stop?” Erwin froze, pulling back slightly. Levi groaned.

“No, no don’t pull it out, just slowly.”

Erwin nodded, though he couldn’t see it, and pushed in further more delayed this time. The other clutching often.

“Relax, Levi.”

“Don’t tell me to relax. You try sticking a sausage finger up your ass.”

The blonde unperturbed by the other’s insult continued, managing to get it all the way inside, now trying to massage and work the lube around.

“Have you done this before?”

Levi had settle down mostly, “Yeah, nothing more than three of my own fingers though.”

More time was spent with one finger before, Erwin had him pushing back and winding his hips in need of another.

Uncapping the bottle again, he slicked up another and pushed it inside alongside the first.

A full body shutter ran over his skin, with the stretch, no doubt, two of Erwin’s fingers equated to three of his own. He tried to keep his breathing even, his hands clutching in the sheets, unconsciously.

Erwin was scared he was hurting Levi, as the sounds and expressions weren’t exactly ones of pleasure but Levi insisted. Groaning at Erwin, every time he though he needed to pull out.

Once that finger was also, all the way in and he’d began to scissor and curl the digits was when Levi’s entire display changed. He moaned first, pressing his cheek to the bed to do so, and his hands continued to clutch but not roughly or white-knuckled like before, instead they held like they were in search of something of purchase. His hips lowered steadily, arching to rub his leaking cock against the sheets seeking friction. “Oh, fuck.”

“Does it feel good?” Erwin questioned. He pushed deeper, gaining confidence in his actions as Levi was receiving them much better, his walls more easily giving way for him.

He just nodded, not trusting his voice to do much else.

The image was beautiful. Now that Levi was enjoying himself, Erwin couldn’t help but feel the same. Imagining how good and tight, he’d feel around his own cock, clutching onto him like he was to his fingers. The lewd noises he’d make, ugh and even thinking about him saying his name made Erwin want to spill in his pants.

He pulled them out, to which he in turn got a dejected groan from Levi and a scowl.

“Do you think that’s good, or are you going to need a third?”

Levi shrugged, “Let me see your dick.”

Right, to this day, he’d never seen it before. Erwin stood up on his knees and pulled his boxers down. Like a lot of Levi’s reactions tonight, it came as a surprise. His brows raised and he stared at it for an impregnated amount of time, even tilted his head before replying. “Once again, I must ask, what the fuck your parent’s feed you.”

Erwin looked down on himself, inquiring. “Why is it big?”

Gray eyes looked down at him once again then back up. “Let’s just say, I think I’m going to need that third finger.”

He got back in position, and Erwin re-lubed both digits and a third and chronologically dipped them back in again. The first two went in easily compared to the first time, but the last took a little more adjusting on Levi’s part. This didn’t bother, the blonde, though, he wanted to make Levi feel good, despite what his cock told him at times, that’s what was most important to him. He’d be willing to spend another hour stretching him if he had to, but gratefully, Levi curled back to pull Erwin’s hand away. “I think I’m ready.” He purred.

The blonde planted a kiss to Levi’s ass, now a little red like much of skin then one to his lips before flipping him onto his back. “Don’t just throw me around like I’m some kind of doll!” He barked, looking away not being able to meet his eyes. Erwin smiled warmly giving him more kisses, one after another soothing his concerns just as a sedative would.

Dejectedly he added, “I thought you were going to just fuck me like that.”

“No of course not, I want to be able to see your face.” Erwin enthused.

He pulled Levi closer to him by his hips and spread his legs. Pulling at his own cock a few times not that he needed the extra simulation, Levi had done quite a fine job of keeping him hard.

Erwin reached for the lube once again but had it grabbed from his hands the minute he did.

Levi rolled his eyes.

He sat up a little, squeezing some of the lube in his hand and decided to apply it to Erwin’s cock himself. Making sure to coat it thoroughly. It felt solid in his hands and for a second he pondered if he was prepared enough for this. He ultimately shrugged the thought away and leaned back down on his forearm, helping Erwin to line it up.

Erwin hovered overhead, trying to hold Levi’s gaze. “Are you ready, baby?”

Levi’s jaw clicked, more than ready -even this this position – to tear Erwin a new one for the pet name, but was robbed of the opportunity once he pushed inside. Instead a low “ah” fell from his lips, his eyes squeezing tight and his head falling back against the pillow. The intrusion was sudden; void of all the caution he’d been expecting when Erwin snapped his hips forward.

Every part of Erwin’s body tingled pushing into Levi. He was so tight inside, more so than he’d imagined, and it caused a piece of him to thrum with fear. Questions flying through his mind, like had he prepared him enough? Had he done it right? The look on his face didn’t help any either. His eyes squeezed shut, his teeth clutched. It was very much reminiscent of when he’d begin stretching him, but possibly worse.

“A-am… Are you alright? Am I hurting you?”

Levi didn’t respond. In any case, he appeared to be just resting, had it not been for the furrow of his brows, his white-knuckle grip on the sheets and how his skin seemed to be shaking with repressed tension.

Erwin panicked immediately. He considers pulling out, then proceeds to do so.

“Shit, Erwin. Stop. What is with you always confusing slow down and pull out?”

Erwin managed a nod. Doing as he was told and pushing in more slowly, he leaned his forehead against Levi’s subconsciously matching his breathing. He knew he’d need to calm himself in order to please Levi. Even though every muscle in his body flexed, ached, yearned to jerk forward.

Levi’s hands unclutched from the sheets, and instead found purchase on Erwin’s back, blunt nails clawing at his skin. He groaned brokenly, a little over stimulated. And with that reassuring gesture, the blonde bottomed out. Levi still remained silent, not a single sound escaping. Astonishing to Erwin, when he himself was having difficulty keeping quiet. He rocked back, pushing up so he could see Levi’s face. Giving into himself, if just for the moment, pulling out shallowly and pushing back in just in a desperate attempt to sate the growing itch. A satisfying tingle shot through his backbone but died so quickly back into tension, Erwin wanted to scream.

The action, - the blonde had trouble restraining- caused eye lids to flutter before snapping open, an unrestrained moan passing thin pink lips. So many emotions flooding Levi’s body, fighting for dominance, tension, irritation, excitement, horror but mostly pleasure. Unadulterated pleasure.

He whined his hips, his legs wrapping around Erwin’s waist. “Do that again.”

Erwin complied.

Pulling out and pushing in again, to receive a similar response from Levi. With that he started a rhythm. A methodical one. He tried going slow for Levi but couldn’t help bucking erratically within seconds of the first. The bed began to rock with his movements, grunting shamelessly with every thrust. He then grinded down to receive a different response, Levi whimpered tossing his head fighting to grasp a hold on his noises and reactions. Having an even tougher time doing so once Erwin’s lips start kissing at his flushed throat.

“You’re so pretty like this.”

“Ah – shut up…” Levi huffed out before it morphed into “– _Erwiiiin.”_

Erwin immediately stilled, the only defense he had against his own orgasm. He wasn’t going to last long. Mainly, if Levi continued to moan his name like that, desperately, calling to him as if he were his salvation.

The ravenette recanted, rocking back against him. “DON’T STOP!”

Taking a deep breath, he hooks his hand around Levi’s thigh spreading him further and thrusts into him some more, deeper, faster now. This time reaching a bundle of nerves that had Levi clenching. Erwin could tell Levi was close but he was closer.

The warmth and tight fit of the man far surpassed anything he’d ever done to himself before. Frankly, Erwin was surprised he’d lasted this long.

Levi reached for his own dripping cock, probably more than ready to finish himself but Erwin instead grasped the appendage trying to finish him off before he met his own end. “Ah!” Levi’s entire body quaked in his hold.

The larger hand stroked languidly, keeping the smaller male at his peak. Root to tip firmly, while Levi bucked up into his palm.

He swallowed and gasped for air simultaneously. “You’re gonna… make me come.”

Erwin kept his pace, stoking Levi at the same speed, now leaning down again not to kiss him but to mouth at his nipples. Trying to stimulate every inch of his body. He arched upward, his position wantonly begging for more. His panting becoming irregular and harsh. His fingers made it to Erwin’s scalp and he tugged on his hair as he whimpered disjointedly. He picked up his pace, sending the bed knocking into the wall in doing so feeling drunk on pleasure, but kept himself sane enough to watch Levi began to sputter and wail as his body convulsed. Erwin felt the warmth against his chest and in the palm of his hand and in so not needing to look down to know Levi had came all over himself.

His orgasm caused Levi’s walls to clutch tight around Erwin consequentially yanking the orgasm out of him as well. He groaned loudly, trying to pull out before coming but was too slow.

The blonde didn’t think much of it, crawling up over the other’s body and stealing a kiss. Open mouthed as they both continued to fight for air, panting heavily on each other’s lips.

Erwin smiled, contently, pulling the withering mess that was Levi against his chest. Levi continued to fight for fresh air, in his hold. They stayed this way for a good amount of time, how long, they were uncertain as time was irrelevant. They just waited as they’re adrenaline and hormones bubbling down and fizzling out. So much so that they’d both dozed moments after.

* * *

 

Erwin was first to rise, blinking awake and momentarily confused as to what time it was and when he had fallen asleep. Everything felt still, the moon was at its full height now. The memories, however, did flow back to him in the midst of finding his small partner bundled up in the sheets at his side.

Heat rose on Erwin’s skin, and overwhelming warmth engulfing him. Levi looked so very different when he was asleep. He tended to have an ever present scowl during his waking life but he appeared rather peaceful in rest, his brows neutral, instead of furrowed, his lips turned down but not so much in a frown as it was just it’s unaltered position. He looked younger like this too, even though he looked young to begin with because of his height and stature. That fact never bothered Erwin rather he found it funny when people would mistake himself for a college kid and Levi as a middle schooler, though it was also the easiest way to piss him off. Even funnier seeing the face of the person, when an assumed to be middle schooler starts cursing them out and threatening them.

He smiled reminiscing. He could also recall the first time he’d seen Levi like this, it was during their first sleep over. Back then he used to image this very scenario, waking up next to him after a night of sex. Tried to image what it would feel like not thinking for a second that it would ever become a reality. Erwin carefully shifted bringing the other closer, so he could gentle smooth the hair away from his face and kiss him on his head. He’d always wanted to do that too, but had always fear Levi would wake up and murder him. Now that didn’t matter because he knew he cared for Erwin as much as Erwin did him. That alone made this the best night of his life.

Levi stirred not long after, and soon he too was waking up in a haze. At first he appeared to be a little disoriented until he’d realized where he was, Erwin’s bedroom. “Oh…” He’d sighed, huddling closer to the other’s side. This night had been full of surprises, mostly of Levi showing a cuter, sweeter side to himself and this gesture was no different. Erwin pressed his nose to Levi’s head humming contently. He wanted to melt into the ravenette and never let go of this moment.

“Don’t get all sappy,” He mumbled, his face half pressed to Erwin’s chest, “You’re just really warm. That’s it.”

Erwin’s smile widened, “I know.” He said humoring the ravenette. Erwin was no warmer than he. Levi most likely just wanted to cuddle and this fact tickled the blonde even more.

Moments past and at one point Erwin had thought Levi had drifted to sleep again but something told him that wasn’t true. He spoke first wanting to discuss what had happened, not only to validate but to gush. “You were amazing tonight, Levi.”

Levi groaned, pulling away a little to give Erwin an irritated glare, “Yeah, I could tell from you coming inside me…”

Blue eyes cast to the other side of the room, an abased chuckle leaving his lips. “I’m sorry…”

“No you’re not.” He said in return, lying back down, “You’re lucky I’m not a girl.”

“That I am. Extremely lucky.” Though he could imagine Levi being quite a hot chick.

Once again, a long stretch of silence pasted them both. No noise could be heard from anywhere, being that it was the middle of the night.

“Levi?”

“mmh.”

“I just want you to know that you’re very special, more special than anyone else has ever been to me and that I am grateful for you giving me a chance last year.”

“Ugh...” Levi grumbled, lifting himself from Erwin’s warmth once again to look him in the face, his eyes shining in the moonlight, “What are you saying, Erwin? Seriously it’s too late at night for this. Shut up and go to”—

The blonde pressed a kiss to Levi’s lips effectively silencing him before he went on. “I love you.” He whispered, kissing him again before he had a chance to respond.

Levi felt like his head was spinning, Erwin’s confession was nauseating. He couldn’t understand how one night together had led to a love testimony. This hadn’t been what he wanted, right? He’d known sleeping with him would add a new layer to their relationship but love? Saying it was too much was an understatement. He couldn’t love Erwin, could he?

The bigger of the two pulled away gingerly, intense cerulean eyes searching Levi’s platinum. The ravenette turned his head braking the contact and pressed his face into his firm chest again. “Just go back to sleep.”

Erwin nodded, resting his chin on the top of Levi’s raven hair. “I’ll dream of you” He’d whispered, it was corny and sappy but he couldn’t help it. He was in love. He’d never felt anything like it before, it filled him inside, made him tingle with a weird child-like joy. He wanted to yell and do some lame -easily mistaken for a seizer- kind of dance move all over his room. He wanted to pull Levi into his embrace and never let go. The sky was the limit at this point.

Erwin didn’t think much of Levi not saying it back. On the contrary, the fact that the raven didn’t dispute it was a win. He wasn’t one to show affection, so Erwin hadn’t expected that of him. It would take time but he’d get him to confess, eventually.

That thought passed in an instance, and then all he could think about was graduation only a few months away now, when they’d move in together, when they’d wake up next to each other daily… when they’d spend their lives together. What Erwin had not expected, however, was that that night was the last he’d see of Levi.

The next morning the ravenette was nowhere to be found. Erwin had woken up alone, the space beside him cold. At first he’d thought nothing of it. Perhaps Levi was eager to get home and shower was all he’d thought, that he’d talk to him later, but Levi didn’t reply to any of his texts nor his phone calls that day.

This rose Erwin’s anxiety but he was still confident that he’d see Levi the next morning at school, that he’d explain to him that his phone broke or that he’d lost it on his way home but Levi did not show up Monday morning, or Tuesday morning, or Wednesday and before Erwin knew it a whole week went by.

By this point, he is worried sick. He considered that maybe Levi had gotten ill, so much so that he couldn’t attend school or use his phone. He texted religiously for the next couple days, yet nothing.

Slowly as more days pasted Erwin saw this possibility as being less and less likely. He could go visit Levi, but he didn’t know where he lived and he never thought to ask. He knew Levi had a hard home life, he never wanted to pry so he was clueless as where to even start. It appeared his only other option was to question the school.

“He withdrew?”

The woman at the counter nodded stiffly, clicking through something on the computer screen to her left much like Erwin’s presence was unwarranted and unimportant.

Erwin could feel his face getting hot, a burning lump forming in his throat, “I don’t understand? It’s almost the end of the school year, how can he withdraw?”

“It seems as though it wasn’t something recent, it’s been an ongoing process, that was just approved of.”

“Ongoing process? So what he had applied to withdraw?” The temperature of his body continued to rise, “How long ago?”

“Erwin this is all confidential. I can’t give you that information.”

Fists clutched against his side, “Well… I could ask him myself if you’d just tell me where he lives.”

“We can’t just give away student information, Erwin.”

“Yeah but I know him. We’re best friends…” He basically pleaded.

“Well if that were true, he would tell you, right?”

“So there’s nothing else you can do…? Please I just want to talk to him.”

“I’m sorry to have to say this Erwin but have you considered that maybe he doesn’t want to talk to you.”

Erwin’s walls crumbled, heat rushing to his eyes a feeling of something fighting for release inside him. Before he could make even more of a fool out of himself, he turned and stormed from the office, ran from the school and locked himself away in his room for the remainder of the day. He missed football practice that afternoon then class the next. He rarely left his room for a good few weeks, not leaving except to use the bathroom and eat.

School became too much of a hassle, everything really became too much of a hassle actually.

Nile and Mike came around periodically, trying to talk to him – get through to him – from behind his bedroom door, but nothing seemed to work. They knew what was up, they had noticed the ravenette was nowhere to be found. Though they couldn’t quite understand why Erwin was acting in such a way, they didn’t know the relationship they had, if one at all. Perhaps everything had been flawed. Perhaps, Levi didn’t care for him as much as he had thought. Perhaps he had become a burden or a pawn.

Erwin felt as though his whole world had fallen to pieces. He knew it sounded immature and trivial, but that’s how he felt. His life had somehow become wrapped up in Levi, like a woven blanket. All that was left of it was the strains and there was no way for him to put it back together. Everything -everything - reminded him of the boy. The school; having to enter and exit through the front gates that always reminded him of when they’d first met, then of where he’d honored their anniversary, the cafeteria, where they’d always eat lunch together, even his own bedroom and living room, for obvious reasons. He felt guilt ridden to the point of hating himself. He had pushed Levi too far. That had to have been the only answer for why he hadn’t said goodbye. Everything hurt. He didn’t know how to get over it and he wasn’t certain if he ever would.

 

 


	2. The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I posted this a little later than I wanted to. I am a little OCD and I can't help feeling it's still missing something, but I've worked on it so long, that I am probably just delusional. 
> 
> This story was was going to be two parts, It still is two parts but I am adding an Epilogue. The epilogue was orginally going to be apart of the second part but I am still revising it and decided to leave it for a later update. Hope you enjoy!

**~10 Years Later ~**

This couldn’t be right. The reports weren’t adding up, the client had invested $600,000 and the ad had only boosted the profit 5.4%, yet by his calculation, they should have at least doubled their income. They hadn’t even broken even at this point. Erwin shuffled through the other printed pages on his desk in search of a few others, mainly the customer surveys and sales information he was recently provided so he could cross analysis them with the profit data. He’d been working on this for a lifetime now, or that was how it felt. It had been really keeping him up at night. His calculations were never wrong, and certainly not to this extent. This slip up was unacceptable.

A knock sounded at the door and at that, his focus was immediately shot.

“Mr. Smith?” The passage opened hesitantly.

Erwin sighed internally, setting down the files he’s been analyzing and lifting his head to the doorway of his office. He hated being disturbed, especially like this. He was getting close to an answer he was certain of it. But not anymore, all his prior work felt gone.  His newest, assistant/intern, a young ambitious – maybe overly so – young man, stood timidly by the entrance, possibly looking for acknowledgement, though his emerald eyes were wide, much like he was flustered and frantic about something or other. Erwin wasn’t surprised by it in the least, the kid always seemed to be a little over excited about… well everything.  

The intern continued when he realized Erwin’s tired and uninterested look was the best he was going to get of his boss’s attention. “D-did you forget about the meeting? It’s starting in five minutes, sir.”

He removed his readers setting them gently on the desk, he was itching to run his fingers though his hair to sate his growing frustration but knew he couldn’t risk messing up the perfect part five minutes before an important meeting. Truth is he had completely forgotten. He had been working on his own project, and now he was going to be overlooking another but that was just his job. As the Director of the marketing department, he had to verify everyone else’s work as well as work alongside others. This meeting was supposedly a new venture for a new client, so being that he had such a high position attendance was certainly a must.

“Well thank you, Eren. I’ll be there in a minute.” The boy nodded, leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

Erwin leaned back in his chair, his eyes never leaving the door as he no doubt burned through two minutes of his limited time, in thought. The CEO, Darius Zackly had seemed to make a huge deal about this new project in the email he sent over a month ago. It was supposedly a multi-million-dollar technology company looking to expand and rebrand their company. He’s specified in the information packet that the company had their own creative director they wished to use but insisted that Erwin partner with him, to keep the progress and budget in check. Apparently, the guy was a creative genius but never pays any attention to the finances involved.

Great, from his own reasoning he could conclude he was going to be working with some kind of art snob that wasn’t going to understand reason, data or any sense of practicality for that matter.

He stood from his chair, not having time to go through his usual routine like he would on any other day. Much like his work, he had been quite out of whack lately. Nothing seemed to be going right. Usually he would refamiliarize himself with the project packet, being that he read it over a week ago, today, however he was just going to have to look back and pull from what he could remember of it. Next He’d organize his own papers, have questions prepared, along with brain stormed rough ideas for branding but he had none of that today.

Recently he had moved into an apartment, forced to live alone something he hadn’t done in a good decade. Saying it was a challenge was an understatement, and it was no surprise it was having an effect on his professional life.

He removed his black blazer from the back of his chair, pulling the crisp material on, smoothed his hair for good measure and grabbed his black leather briefcase at the door before beginning his trek to the conference room.

“Well if it isn’t Erwin. Cutting it close aren’t we?”

He lifted his head to meet the dark brown eyes of one of his co-workers and longest friends. Nile shoved a paper cup of black coffee in his hand, as they took their seats in their usually places, the only few chairs that were empty as the rest of the guest were already present at this point. He and Nile didn’t intend to work in the same place, it was purely coincidence, they didn’t even graduate in the same field. Nile was the director of the sales department, a safe and nice place to be with his finance degree.

One day while walking in the halls of the Military advertising company, about a year in to having worked there, the lengthy man had called to him. At that time, they hadn’t seen each other since high school, it was weird at first but the friendship kind of just picked up where it had left off, like nothing had changed at all.

Erwin sat down in the leather swivel chair, placing the cup down gently then proceeded to methodically empty his briefcase of his necessities; files, a pen, as well as a notepad. “Yeah, I know.” The blonde deadpanned.

Nile didn’t push further, possibly because he was uninterested but more likely because Darius had migrated to the front of the room commencing the start of the meeting. However, this time he wasn’t alone at the front of the room. Standing at his side was a much shorter man, he had very dark hair that fell over his eyes and obstructed Erwin’s view but even so the gentleman looked familiar. He stood with his hands in his pockets a large cloth folder – most likely his portfolio – tucked under his armpit, dressed in black slacks and a neatly pressed white collared shirt, certainly not the ‘artsy’ type Erwin had been picturing.

He didn’t move an inch, much like he was a statue and he didn’t even so much as look up when the CEO began to introduce him to the room.

“Today starts the beginning of a new investment relationship. The well-known multimillion dollar company, Underground Technology co. is in need of rebranding, including a new logo and new ads to encompass their newest software breakthrough, and they have decided to come to us for this very important transformation.” Darius, paused as a few of the board members applauded before continuing. “Furthermore, the company as provided their very own well-received creative director, who traveled quite a distance to be here, Levi Ackerman. Over the course of the next few months, he along with Erwin will be overseeing as well as helping to fabricate a new brand and marketing plan for the company.”

Levi. Erwin hadn’t heard the name in a very long time, however Ackerman didn’t ring a bell. Erwin couldn’t look away from the short man. He seemed like someone he knew once but having dark hair and being named Levi didn’t prove anything. Ackerman was not the last name of the Levi he once knew, not to mention this wouldn’t be the first time he’s seen someone he thought looked like his friend from high school. It was something that actually happened quite often years and years ago especially right after when his heart was broken and he tried clinging to anyone with dark hair or a snarky attitude. It was a dark time, and having to currently deal with one entirely different he didn’t quite feel like opening that can of worms right now.

The short gentleman at Darius’s side then without speaking any words, took a seat in an empty chair at the front. Blue eyes stayed fixated on him, admiring the man’s slight nose, the pink tint to his lips, everything that could be seen, with his head still angled down and the curtain of his black hair in the way. Even half way through the meeting Erwin couldn’t stop staring, making everything that came out of Darius’s mouth mute.

Levi seemed to be unsociable in Erwin’s opinion, he refused to look at anything besides his hands in front of him, not to mention he hadn’t said a word during the opening introduction, not even a hello or an offer of a smile. The blonde wondered what everyone else thought of the new comer but everyone else seemed to be paying all their attention to the CEO. But he himself couldn’t concentrate, he was drawn to Levi for some reason. It was unexplainable.

Within that second, like the ravenette knew what Erwin was thinking, he lifted his head his dark eyes cutting through the air and locked with his. Erwin immediately looked to someone else, trying to make it seem as though he had just been looking around, a dumb cover he hadn’t used since secondary school. It made him feel dumb too, it was blatantly obvious he was staring. He just knew that he would be working with the man for the next few months and he didn’t want him to think he was a creep or something.

Despite what others told him in college, awkwardness and insecurities never go away and more often than not they seem to get worse the more he’s advanced in life.

He turned back a second later, but Levi was looking down once again. Erwin focused his attention on Darius and there it remained till the end of the conference.

Once it was over, most were antsy to get out as it was the conclusion to the work day, but the blonde decided to stay behind, waiting for the perfect opportunity to introduce himself. He compiled all his material back in his briefcase, and stood up with his head held high. He schooled his face into one of confidence and genuinity, one that tended to intimidate yet comfort all at once. Apparently, something only he was capable of.

He approached the other lone person in the room. “Hello, I’m Erwin Smith. Nice to meet you, Levi.”

He spoke conversationally, lifting his right hand to shake.

The shorter man did nothing. He stood, giving his face a questioning look, then threw a look of disgust at his outstretched hand, turned and walked away.

Erwin set his jaw, his hand falling to his side. Despite the immediate sting of rejection, he also couldn’t help feeling as though the interaction was familiar in a way.

* * *

 

His pencil slid across the paper like it had a mind of its own. Drawing was the one thing he did well that he enjoyed, well besides cleaning. It was so easy to lose himself to the world in his mind that only he could get to.

Artistry was his first career choice but anyone with a brain knew how difficult it was trying to make money on their own artwork, unless they were in something like digital design or animation, and that was still one in a million. Lucky enough for him, he’d found advertisement. A business career that allowed him to really harness his creativity… well at least sometimes. Occasionally… well he got paid well, and the field didn’t take up much of his time either. In all, it was a satisfying turn of events.

He even got to travel, which any creative mind would agree was a major plus for the career. Getting to see places he’d never dreamed of seeing was enjoyable and all inspiring. Making it so he was never at a loss for new ideas.

Not even a knock was heard at the door before someone was inviting themselves into Levi’s makeshift office. It was provided for him by the company he was currently occupying, nothing but four walls, an ikea desk, one office chair and an adjacent lounge chair. Not much but at least it was clean and that’s all that mattered.

Gray eyes turned from his sketch pad, not expecting who he saw before him.

“Demon spawn. It’s been awhile.”

The skinny man in front of his door, stood proud, a stern look rested on his terribly aged pale face. The scraggly beard that strangely resembled pubes was really all Levi needed to see to know immediately who he was dealing with. He turned his eyes back to his artwork, his muses were gone but he didn’t want to appear as though he was giving Nile’s his full attention. “What do you want, shit beard?”

He laughed sardonically, in his peripheral Levi could see him lean against the door’s frame. “You haven’t changed a bit.”

“Wish I could say the same for you…” Who’d thought that even with ten years past, he was still incapable of growing a proper beard, he wanted to add.

“I’m here to discuss, Erwin.”

The unmistakable thud of a writing utensil hitting the table, echoed through the room, before he looked up to meet Nile’s eyes. He swallowed thickly. He was hoping to avoid this conversation for as long as he could but he knew it was going to come eventually, however he hadn’t expected it from Nile.

The bearded man continued, “Leave him alone. He’s so past over you.”

The words stung if for a little bit but Levi kept his façade up.

“Psh, what makes you think I want anything to do with, Erwin?” Levi picked his pencil back up, “It’s not like he noticed it was me anyways.”

“He will. He’s not a dumb man. He’s just made quite a few mistakes pertaining to thinking someone that wasn’t you was so he’s probably thinking it’s one of those times.”

One of those times? Levi thought. Oh so what he had such a generic face that it was common ground for Erwin to see someone that looks just like him?

“Don’t interfere. Just do your job, then go back to wherever you came from.”

“I don’t need you to tell me that.” He looked down, “I don’t even want to work with Erwin.” He muttered. And it was true, he didn’t want to be anywhere near the man. He’d had hoped he could live the rest of his life without ever seeing him again. With the thought of Erwin Smith came painful memories, things he had buried long ago that he didn’t intend to ever rediscover. But of course, life had other plans.

“Good.” And then as if an afterthought, “I’m sure as hell not going to let you come in and ruin his life again.”

Levi slammed his pen down this time, looking up at Nile through furrowed brows.

“For fucks sake, I already said I don’t want to work with him. What else could you possibly want?”

“Nothing. You’re making the right decision.”

Once again he lifted his writing utensil. “Then get the hell out of my office.”

He opened the door, the distinct sound of another man’s dress shoes on the carpet made it to Levi’s ears. There was recognition is Nile’s eyes when he spoke the name, immediately closing the door to his office. “Erwin.”

Ruin his life… _again?_

* * *

 

Erwin checked his watch as he exited his office. The work day was way past over he tended to stay late more so now that he had nothing to return home to. But also, meaning that Levi had an entire work day plus over time to hand in the sketches Erwin had requested of him and yet he had received nothing of the sort.

Down the hall, he noticed someone else that seemed to be working late. The bright light showing through the bottom of the door in the darkened work building. An office, Erwin wasn’t use to seeing occupied, it was Levi’s temporary. ‘Perfect’, he’d thought, maybe he had been working on his sketches and lost track of time.

Erwin made is way over, stopping suddenly when the door was pulled open. Though surprisingly, Levi wasn’t the one to emerge.

“Erwin?”

“Nile?” He countered, walking closer to greet his friend. “What were you doing in Levi’s office?”

The slight man, folded his arms over his chest, seeming to be uncomfortable with the question. A thick eye brow rose when he didn’t receive an immediate answer.

“Just providing some advice.” Clearly a lie.

A sales director wouldn’t have any valuable information to give to a creative director, Erwin himself was actually the go between when it came to financial data and advertisement. “Advice?”

“On how our company is run. He just had a few questions about trivial matters.”

Blue eyes turned down as he thought. He had been trying to get a hold of Levi all day. He had emailed his constantly pertaining to the logo and hadn’t heard a thing back. If he had questions about the company, why didn’t he ask Erwin? He was his partner on the project after all.

The questioning look on the blonde’s face must have been obvious, because Nile seemed to know the answer before he could even verbalize what he was thinking.

“He doesn’t want to work with you.”

“I don’t understand?”

Nile shrugged, not interested in the conversation. “I don’t either but he’s already tried going to Zackly about it.”

“He told you all this?”

He nodded. “He’s all use to working alone or some shit. I don’t know. He’s bad news though. A complete asshole.”

“Maybe If I discuss my side of it…”-

Nile’s arm came up and around Erwin’s shoulder directing him to the elevators. “There’s no point. Even I tried to speak on your behalf but he’s in no mood to listen.”

He let himself be basically dragged the exit of the office building, the day apparently having a greater effect on his then he had thought prior. Even if Nile’s wasn’t being honest, which Erwin had a hunch was a major possibility, he didn’t feel like arguing or debating at the moment. For the first time in a long time, he was actually now looking forward to his lonely apartment and lonely bed. He’d decided he could deal with Levi and this whole mess in the morning after he’s regained his wits.

“So he didn’t say at all why he refused to work with me?”

“I said he’s use to working alone. Geez this lack of detail is unlike you. I think you need to get some sleep.”

Erwin knew Nile’s was right in that regard, so after escaping his business building he was quick to grab the first cab back to his apartment.

As a director, only a few steps below the CEO and the leader of an entire division, Erwin made good money so the place was nicely decorated and close to his office in the nice part of the city. But it was nothing compared to the quant home, he’d had in the neighboring towns not but three to four months prior.

He remembered it clearly even though it felt like a different lifetime to him now. His wife had picked it out. It was comparable to a cottage, a one story two-bedroom home. It wasn’t really his taste and he’d insisted he had the money to buy her something a little grander but she’d wanted it so he’d bought it for her. He left her the house when they divorced. He’d never wanted it in the first place but it had been home none the less so the transfer to an apartment in the city was a huge change of pace.

He slid the key into the door and pushed through all in one fluid movement, dropping his briefcase at the door. His wife used to complain about that. Telling him that he needed to take better care of his belongings. Telling him to put it up on the rack where it belonged. Well he could honestly say he didn’t miss her nagging.

Boxes were still scattered around the place. The contents of them unknown. He hadn’t gotten around to putting all his stuff away and anything he felt he needed he’d buy instead of looking for. On any other occasion, he would have labeled the boxes, but getting out of the house was rushed and a lot of it had been a blur as well. He didn’t want to see her as he left, didn’t want to hear her cries. It had been, in the best sense, a mutual divorce, they both knew it was a decision that would benefit the both of them but it goes without saying that it was still a sad occurrence. Something she’s probably hoped would never happen to her and something Erwin never wanted to happen to anyone else.

He managed to slug his way into his bathroom to shower and ready himself for bed. More than looking forward to the next few hours of pretty much zero brain function as he slept. Not wanting to thinking anymore about his deteriorating life. And that’s exactly what he did.

* * *

 

Erwin looked over the squiggled lines and pencil shading with dismay. They were good, very artistic don’t get him wrong but it was not what the company was asking for in a rebrand. The color wasn’t right, the images were all wrong, the aesthetic didn’t correlate it had to be redone entirely.

He lifted his head when he heard the familiar sound of someone gripping the doorknob and not long after Levi waltzed into his office. “What?” he spat. Letting the door slam behind him.

Erwin stayed calm, folding his hands on his desk, he looked at the man then at one of the two chairs stationed in front of him. “Please, have a seat.”

Levi obey though somewhat reluctantly.

“I’ve been looking over some of your sketches and”—

“What? How the hell did you get my sketches?” The words came out like acid as Levi shot up from his chair to see that Erwin was in fact in possession of his own work. They were obviously not the originals as he kept those in his portfolio but huge blown up copies.

The blonde raised his hand, in a calm down sort of gesture and once again, Levi instinctively took a seat.

“Since you refused to respond to any of my emails, and overall it seemed as though you don’t want to cooperate with me, I had to recruit someone to get them on my behalf.” Levi scoffs, folding his hands over his chest. Erwin continued. “I can see you don’t want to work with me, but my CEO put me in charge of this as well, so I’m going to be here whether you like it or not.”

The ravenette said nothing so he shuffled through the drawing till he found his personal list of critiques and the data of what the underground tech company was looking for when it came to their logos design. They had given it to him months before the project even started and Erwin was certain Levi had received one too being that it was the company he was employed with.  

He began to go down it, clearing his throat before doing so.

 “The company wishes to keep the tunnel logo intact, they asked for a possible new look to it, perhaps some added variables or elements. They also would like to keep the color scheme in the blue hues. What you gave me, Levi was the complete opposite. None of these designs have any tunnels.” Erwin lifted the picture up as if Levi didn’t know what his own drawing looked like. This obviously irritated the hell out of the ravenette. “This also doesn’t include the right color scheme and the letter font is drastically different. No company that’s smart would accept this. No one would recognize the brand.”

“It’s a rebrand!”

“Yes Levi a rebrand not an entirely new company. However, the market will see it as such if they chose these nonsensical designs.”

“What do you know?”

Erwin squared his shoulders, meeting gray eyes dead on. “Well as marketing director, it is my say. I have been researching for days what the consumer is expecting from underground tech, I have all the data, surveys, studies. Due to all this, _I_ choose what is to be presented to the company, and I say this is not it.”

“The tunnel is clearly not working. It’s dark it’s unknown. What I am presenting is a sense of enlightenment. It is a technology company, tell me that I am not right.” Gray eyes held steadfast, filled with passion and determination. Apart of him knew Levi had something. On any other occasion, he might have agreed with him but insubordination was no way to get ahead.

“I understand what you are trying to represent, but that is not what the company is asking for.”

“The company is stupid. They have no freaking idea, what they need.”

“That might be so, Levi, but it not our say. It is what the company wants and our job is to give the company what it wants. We are not consultants we are marketing and advertisement. Don’t confuse the two. They tell us what to do and we do it.”

The room fell silent, a heated stare from both parties, causing great tension in the small space. Levi was the first to speak. “Are you done?”

Erwin gave a laugh full of spite, a smug curve of his lip exemplified the authority he felt he held. Levi wanted to knock the teeth out of his head with a right hook just for looking at him that way. Like he was some insolent child.

“No, you’ll need to scrap this. It’s not going to be used.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Does it appear as though I am joking?”

Levi pushed himself out of the chair, and walked out, this time intentionally slamming the door, doing it so hard in fact that it caused every frame on Erwin’s walls to shake. Paying it no mind, he pushed Levi’s artwork aside and continued working.

* * *

 

The next few weeks, no progress had been made. Levi still insisted on avoiding Erwin every chance he got. He didn’t submit any sketches, he gave no detail of the progress he was making, he even went out of his way to barricade his office door. He knew this because none of the offices had locks on their doors meaning anyone had the ability to enter any room – it just came with being in an open environment organization but when he went to confront Levi, the door wouldn’t budge.

It was extremely childish in Erwin’s opinion. No one -that’s he knew – had ever done such a thing.

On top of that, there was no way for him to reconcile. When Levi did respond to emails, which was a rarity in of itself, all he would say was to stop spamming him or that, he was uncomfortable working with Erwin. Smart. The blonde knew what he was playing at, making it seem as though it was a personal problem so he couldn’t copy the emails or give them to human resources or upper management, which he’d never do anyways. He couldn’t possibly go to Darius because that could certainly reflect just as badly on him as it would on Levi. A grown man couldn’t have a professional conversation with another grown man? He would say. Not to mention, Erwin had never once had to go to him for anything before and he wasn’t planning on starting now.

So, Erwin as the skilled strategist that he was decided he would take a different approach. He would wait it out.

Levi had to leave the office eventually, he doubted the man slept there overnight. He might have been a shut in but he also seemed high maintenance. The short ravenette napping on the carpet of a plain hardly used room wasn’t something the blonde could picture, in addition to the fact that he had to eat at some point as well.

So, as the sun began to set outside his office window casting shadows across the buildings and as many other employees left for the day, including his young intern, Eren – Not without wishing him goodnight and once again speaking on how much he appreciated the opportunity Erwin was giving him – the blonde stayed put. He was lucky enough to have Levi’s office across the outside office space, clearly visible from his own. He’d be able to see if the light went out in his office and certainly if someone had left. Before settling in entirely, however, he retrieved a cup of coffee from the breakroom.

He busied himself, with some paperwork while he waited. Feeling good about his ability to kill two birds with one stone in doing so. Looking up through his propped open door every so often to check if the light was still on under Levi’s office door. It was.

It continued on like this for hours. Erwin hadn’t even noticed how long until he’d finally looked up to 6 empty cups of coffee cluttering his desk and waved a tired hello to the janitor passing by with his vacuum. Beyond that, the light was still lit. Levi hadn’t left. He checked his watch to which he was surprised to find it was a quarter past ten. A little over four hours’ overtime.

He rubbed his eyes irritably, packing up his belongings. Throwing away his trash. He was also starving. Not realizing until he noticed how late it was, that he hadn’t eaten since noon and that it had only been some chicken wrap that look good in the cafeteria – it wasn’t- because lord knows he didn’t know the first thing about cooking or storing a lunch for himself.

He had always had someone to do that for him. Whether it had been a mother or … a wife. He yawned. Irritated knowing that despite how exhausted he was; he’d have to stop by a convenient store to buy dinner, because even if he did know how to cook, - which he didn’t – it’s not like he had groceries in his new place to begin with.

He lifted his briefcase and exited his office, closing the door behind him.  He took one last glance at Levi’s door where he found the light still shone bright.

What the hell could the man be doing in there? He’d thought. Unless he had in fact fallen asleep at his desk.

Curiosity got the better of him and Erwin took a few quick quiet steps towards the office door. He could hear shuffling, the faintest of noises. He ventured closer, pressing his ear up against the door to hear better. It felt like an invasion of privacy but at the same time it was a public office, and Erwin was his partner. He jolted when he heard a banging sound. Like someone had hit the desk hard, followed by a loud spit of profanity.

Frustration perhaps? Erwin had been there. Struggling to finish a project before his deadline. Sleepless nights, weighing on your mind and body. Tensions running high.

Instinctively, Erwin’s hand fell to the cool brass of the doorknob. Immediately he could tell it wasn’t blocked. This was his chance to converse with Levi. Maybe he could be of assistance with whatever he was struggling with.  He squared his shoulders. No he was determined to help Levi. He hadn’t been very cooperative but as the more experienced one in this situation, he was the best person for this.

He pushed down on the handle and cracked the door.

In the split second of peeking inside, he’d known he’d made a huge mistake.

“Shit.” Levi hissed. “Go faster, would ya.”

Through the crack Erwin had created, he could just barely make out half the room but so clearly he could see the ravenette bent over the side of the desk, his black slacks pooled at his ankles with his boxers. That alone was a surprising sight, made even more so by whom was standing behind him, equally, half dressed. His very own assistant, Eren.

His hands were anchored at Levi’s hips as he rocked lazily.

Erwin looked away. A grotesque shutter running over his skin. He could never look that boy in the eyes again. The innocent little obedient intern image was destroyed. How the hell had Eren even gotten into Levi’s office without him knowing anyways? He had presumed the boy had left at least three hours ago. Had they been screwing all that time?

The blonde shook his head, debating with himself mentally. No way that kid had that much stamina. From the redness of his face and the excessive blinking – a weird and certainly not sexy habit – Erwin could tell he was certainly at his limit. Levi on the other hand looked bored out of his wits.

The blonde pulled away from the door. Why was he even watching to begin with? Shit like this happened occasionally, this wasn’t the first time, and it wouldn’t be the last. Humans had desires, ones that are sometimes not as easy to suppress. Was it appropriate for the office? No. But then again it was after hours. It wasn’t exactly Erwin’s say what they were or weren’t allowed to do at this time.

After standing paralyzed thinking for a minute or two, Erwin convinced himself he needed to leave. Before he could, a moan made it to his ears, then a more rhythmic banging commenced.

He cursed his inquisitiveness but yet again peeked through the crack.

Eren had been the one to moan, now hunching over Levi. Bucking more erratically before groaning like a dying cow which was responded to by a less convincing whimper from the ravenette. They both stilled and Levi curled back to pull Eren’s lips against his own.

For some reason, this bothered Erwin, forcing him to look away once again. Levi had been here for a single month at tops, how could they be acting so intimate? By no means did he consider a quickie in an office after hours;’ romantic but kissing wasn’t necessarily something unfamiliar people do with one another either. Or so he thought.

On the other hand, maybe he was jealous, maybe this whole thought process was him trying to rationalize that truth. His life currently was definitely not filled with love at the moment and it was void of sex and intimacy as well. He felt bad – well worse than bad more like tormented - that he was witnessing something like this just to have to return to a cold, empty apartment. A part of him missed his wife, having someone to waiting on him to get home.

He lifted his head back to the door, for sure now prepared to walk away and pretend he’d never seen any of it but instead was immediately shocked to find cold platinum eyes locked onto him, causing a bolt of panic to shoot through his body. He responsively shuffled back, instinctively just needing to distance himself from the door to find himself toppling over the janitor and his vacuum. He fell to the floor groaning with the impact.

A pool of light blinded him as the door to the office he’d just been peeking into swung open entirely. His worse fear coming to fruition.

“Mr. Smith!” Eren cried, holding his open and sagging pants to his hips. “Oh fuck.”

The janitor mumbled something distasteful – seemingly unaffected by all that was hitting the fan - as he continued on his way.

At the same time Eren extended his hand to offer his help to which Erwin pointedly ignored, pushing himself back onto his feet himself.

He awkwardly withdrew his hand, running it over his chestnut hair, looking guilty and humiliated.

Erwin flicked his eyes to Levi, now sitting arms crossed in his chair, contrarily looking unapologetic, his eyes dead set on Erwin.

“Mr. Smith, I can explain.” Eren sputtered, still standing bashfully, working now to get his slacks resituated.

“Not necessary.” Pause. “Have a safe trip home.” He exclaimed, excusing Eren

The boy nodded, turning to look back at Levi once before leaving the office.

“This doesn’t mean I’m fired, right?”

Erwin rubbed his temple, a little peeved but kept his voice polite.

“Of course not, Eren. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” Then he was gone.

The blonde’s attention then shifted to the only other person in the room, air seemed to still. He didn’t know what to say anymore. It felt weird to bring up work after this whole ordeal but what else was he supposed to talk about?

“So…” –

“Did you enjoy?” Levi hissed.

“What?”

“Well you were being a peeping fucking tom for some time. I assumed you enjoyed? You get off?”

“That’s sick, Levi. I would never – I was just” – Erwin stopped himself. He had nothing to justify to someone who was actually having sex in their office. That was way worse, then accidentally witnessing it. It wasn’t his fault. There were no lock doors in the building, how did they not know that? “What were you thinking Levi? I came here because you haven’t spoken a word to me and I am supposed to be your partner on this project.”

“You’re so uptight. Are you constipated, because there is clearly some shit up your ass.”

“That isn’t appropriate workplace language.”

He rolled his eyes.

“I am tired. So I’m going to be leaving but I’ll be back tomorrow morning to actually discuss project materials with you. I expect you not barricade your door.”

Erwin ground out his say, turning to leave.

“Whatever gets your dick hard, Erwin.” The blonde stopped halfway out the office. He was known for being a very level-headed man but he had just about had it with Levi and his heinous attitude. He wanted to say something to equally offend him and before he knew it the words were leaving his mouth before he could stop them.

“… By the way, Eren has a girlfriend.” – albeit probably not anymore –

“I know.”

Blue eyes widened, shocked with the response as he turned to look back at the ravenette. He’d never once seen the man smile but there was a very visible smirk on his face as he continued.

“Straight guys tend to fall for me. It’s a curse. Right, Erwin?”

The blonde swallowed thickly a confused yet incriminating look crossing over his own features. He quickly turned back around and exited the building.

* * *

 

That night, Erwin was plagued by a familiar dream, or so he believed. He couldn’t remember a thing about it in the morning except for some key elements, alabaster skin, jet black hair and piercing mercury eyes. He’d woken up in a hot sweat with an aching case of morning wood, like some prepubescent boy.

One that wouldn’t simply go away after his morning routine but instead persisted, forcing him to have to handle it, which was something he’d hadn’t had the time or energy to do in a while.

Dreams such as this use to be common, but that was a long time ago, back when he was in love and confused, then more so when he was heartbroken but what was the case for having them now? He felt ashamed of himself for having such fantasies at his age – even though he was only 28 -, he felt even more so for having to relieve himself due to such images.

He wasn’t an idiot – though it had taken him some time – he was now very sure the Levi he was currently dealing with was the same one he’d used to date. The resemblance was uncanny along with the attitude. The only difference was his name, Ackerman, which Erwin concluded must had been self-changed, for what reason, he was unsure.

At first glance about a month back he’d been entranced by the man’s eyes, who wouldn’t be they were unique and striking but that had been all. At no point, had he felt sexually attraction to him anymore. But last night had lit a fire deep down in his core. Seeing Levi bent over the desk his pale skin glowing in the fluorescent lighting, hearing that same moaning voice – well it was slightly deeper – it all flashed him back to that bedroom – his old one – having the man pinned down beneath him, arching with pleasure.

He sighed frustrated.

Then other memories flooded back, the whispered ‘I love you’ in the dark room, thinking it was reciprocated till he’d awoken the next morning to find Levi had disappeared from time and space. Having no knowledge of what had happened, what he’d done. Being angry, then sad, depressed even, scarred. He’d told himself he’d never let that happen again. And these fantasies weren’t helping.

He made it to his office a little later than usual, having been delayed by his persistent erection, which just made his irritation this morning so bad that not even the shot of endorphins from the act could eradicate it.

Erwin walked fast and with a purpose to his office needing to get onto his work as soon as possible. It being the only thing that calmed his mind these days. Before he could make it to the door however, Eren was in front of him.

Erwin avoided eye contact but began with a “What is it, Eren?”

The boy’s face was red, obviously, the awkwardness from yesterday’s event weren’t so easily forgotten.

“Good morning, Mr. Smith. Thought you could use this seeing as you’re running a bit late.”

He handed him a cup of steaming coffee, which Erwin was actually quite thankful for before continuing.

“Also Levi is waiting for you in your office.”

The blonde nearly choked on the sip of coffee he’d taken, quickly whipping his mouth on his sleeve from the fallout – thank god he was wearing a black suit today – as he stared at Eren in disbelief.

“Is he really?”

Eren’s large green eyes turned to the door, as though to say ‘see for yourself.’

Erwin swallowed thickly. “Well thank you, Eren.”

The boy nodded and returned to his desk. Erwin placed his hand to the doorknob, forcing air out of his lungs, then pushed inside.

Sure enough, Levi was stiffly sitting in one of the chairs adjacent to his desk, waiting for him. Instantaneously he turned to look at Erwin – unimpressed - when he’d entered.

Erwin cleared his throat, “I apologize for my tardiness. I hope you haven’t been waiting long.”

Levi said nothing as his eyes followed Erwin not letting up until he had made it behind his desk and had taken his seat.

He however, fought to avoid eye contact as he began to unlock drawers and flip through files not even certain of what exactly he was looking for. Feeling rather awkward and worse of all unprepared.

“Um. I know I told you I needed to speak with you today but I wasn’t expecting you so soon. I don’t even have my paperwork in order yet and I” –

“I’m here to apologize.”

Erwin stilled meeting his gaze. His thick eyes knit together, questioningly. Apologize for what exactly? It couldn’t be for what happened ten years ago, right? Of course not. Why was that even the first thing to come to mind? “For what Levi?” He finally retorted.

“Last night. It wasn’t my intention for you to see me like that and for making you uncomfortable.”

For one reason or another, Erwin felt a slight air of disappoint fill him.

“It’s okay. It happens quite a bit actually. If anyone should apologize, I think it should be me. It was impolite of me to open your door without knocking first and for sticking around as long as I did.” And like a second thought, “Plus Eren is an adult. Who am I to interfere with your relationship.”

Levi laughed, better described as a huff of hot air. Surprisingly so.

“And here I thought you were a smart man, Erwin.” He stopped to cross his arms over his chest. “Tch, I was just… looking for some action and he was close by.”

‘But the kiss,’ he wanted to spit but held his tongue instead. How desperate did he want to sound exactly? “Oh. Well we all get frustrated at times. It’s good to let off steam.” He didn’t know what else to say but the conversation had him stumped, and quite uncomfortable. He just wanted to change the subject.

“Do you?”

Erwin’s blue eyes widened, he lifted a brow, encouraging further explanation.

“Let off steam?”

“Of course… But everyone does it in different ways.”

“Yeah well, last night didn’t help as much as I expected.” He rubbed the side of his neck as to prove his point, “that brat could hardly tell the difference between a pile of shit and his own dick…- “

“Levi!”

“- I mean I really need someone strong, taller with a bigger cock who really knows how to use it. Know anyone like that, Erwin?”

Levi’s piercing platinum eyes found his but his face held no indication of what he was getting at, he looked dead serious, like he’d just delivered the daily news but the tone sent hot blood rushing south.

“I am a-afraid I don’t…” His throat felt dry.

“shame.”

“On a different note, why don’t we get to the steps you’ve taken on the project.” He was quick to change the subject before he really ended up embarrassing himself, his eyes scanning the room for a means to escape. “So I see you brought your portfolio, why don’t you begin with that?”

* * *

 

“So… What’s wrong?”

Levi had barely heard the woman, drowned in his own thoughts, and quite possibly the scotch in his hand as well. But managed a shrug his eyes not leaving the rim of the glass.

“Come oooooon!” She pried, not taking Levi’s response as one at all.

“Nothing.” He instead, groaned out.

“That can’t be true. You’re acting way grumpier than usual.”

Levi shrugged once again, this time trying to end the conversation by turning his head and directing his attention elsewhere. Sadly, in this sorry excuse for a bar, there was nothing else that was worth the attention. The place was old, one of those rundown buildings you find not fitting into the metropolitan area around it. It was rusty, it was small, and frankly with how few costumers he saw he was unsure of how the place even stayed open. There had to be better, prettier, all-around higher class – with a less annoying bar tender – nearby but instead Levi found himself here pretty much every night. It was the closest to where he was staying and it wasn’t likely he would run into anyone from work. 

He liked his alone time, this was true, but there is also a time of the day – usually after work – where he didn’t want to be at the hotel he was staying at. He didn’t know many people here or any, so this was really the only way for him to fulfill his social needs.

“Is it about Erwin?”

Recently surprised gray eyes quickly found the woman behind the bar again. There was a smug look on her face like she already knew the answer.

“Shit. Do I talk about him that much?” Levi mumbled.

She shrugged this time, “Not really. But you have mentioned him once or twice. Usually it’d something bad, like how you despise him but your facial expression just now tells otherwise.” The woman straightened her glasses and leaned over the wood, her browns wide with misplaced interest. “So tell me, what’s going on?”

He groaned, downing his glass – not without a pinched face though he enjoyed the bitterness - slamming it down and pushing it towards Hange. He wasn’t one to drink often or really at all, tea was more along his lines. However, his current predicament called for it. Something about the liquid heat, warming his stomach drew the attention away from his heart and his head. It was an escape like no other, even though Levi was incapable of getting drunk.

“That bad?” She said, uncorking the Chivas Regal and pouring some more of the amber liquid. “What did he do this time?”

“Nothing.”

Hange waited crossing her arms.

“I just can’t get him out of my head.” Levi said honestly, “He’s different from what I remember.”

“From what you remember?”

“I dated him back in high school.”

The woman snickered, mischievously, “Was that last year?”

“Fuck you.” He spits back through her hysteria. “ten year ago, in fact.”

Hange whistled, apparently astonished by the time gap. “Well, Levi, everyone changes over time. He’s grown.”

“I know that much, but still.

She leaned in even further, inches away from Levi’s face. “Tell me how you think he is different?”

Levi shrugged again, “He just is. All he does is glare at me, and I can’t help but feel like he hates me.”

“What reason does he have to hate you?” Her eyes drifted up in thought, then within that second added, “Did it end badly?”

He tched, with a scowl pulling back so she’d get the hint that she was too close. She didn’t.

“It didn’t really end at all.”

“How so?”

“One day, I just left.”

“You just… left?”

“Yes.”

Hange finally did take a step back, a contemplative look on her face. As if she were trying to piece this all together. To somehow get a cohesive story out of it. Levi was curious as to what she would say. He too had been trying to piece together the story for years, had tried excessively to understand what had happened that night.

“You didn’t tell him or anything, you just left for no reason… and I’m presuming you never came back.”

Levi nodded.

“Why?”

He shrugged, “I don’t know…” Well he did, he knew he had to back then, it wasn’t necessarily his decision but as to why he’d _actually_ done it, “He told me he loved me then” –

“He told you he loved you so you disappeared without a trace and never came back?” She cringed, “Yikes no wonder he hates to you. What a terrible thing to do.”

“…Thanks Hange.” He downed another glass, numbly. She instinctively, poured him another.

“I am serious Levi. Why would you do that? Did you not love him back?”

He sat in silence for a while, something inside his chest throbbed painfully. He didn’t even know how they had come to be on this topic, he didn’t want to think about it, or frankly about Erwin. He had come here to do just that. He knew what he had done back then was wrong, he knew better than anyone. It was shitty and fucked up but there was no going back now. The past was the past, why couldn’t he accept that?

 Hange didn’t seem to mind, waiting patiently as he thought.

“I don’t know.” He finally retorted. “not like it matters now.”

She straightened her glasses, the reflexive glare hiding her eyes but Levi could clearly see a new air of seriousness in her demeanor. “I think you do and I think it does. You don’t have to be honest with me, Levi, but at least try being honest with yourself. You can’t keep running away from your problems”

Levi scoffed, downing another gulp of scotch and turning away, screw this. He hadn’t come to the bar for advice or a physiological breakthrough, “What would you know?” He finally retorted candidly.

Hange laughed, loudly leaning over the counter again. “Well… I got my PHD in neuroscience, pertaining to both psychology and chemistry, so I can tell exactly what you’re doing and quite possibly what you are thinking.”

The ravenette looked around the area once again, to the dark corners of the scrummy bar before turning back rather confused, “The fuck you doing working as a bar tender?”

Hange smiled crazily, “Because I get to meet interesting subjects like you.”

The rest of the night, Levi had led the conversation away from the subject of Erwin and it never went back, thank god.

* * *

“Good Evening everyone!” Darius called, drawing everyone’s attention away from their own individual conversations.

He was standing tall in the center of the office, dressed quite formally in a three-piece suit, and polished black loafers.

“I know we are celebrating a bit earlier than usual but I am scheduled to be on a plane first thing tomorrow morning and I wanted to be here to acknowledge such a tremendous time for our company. We are now on the final leg of the project, the Underground technology company has yet to look over all the materials we provided but so far they seem to be extremely pleased.” He paused so some of the employees could applaud, others that had already had a drink too many did a few hoots and hollers.

“We are still waiting to hear back from them overall, but the general feedback has been very positive. And none of it would have been made possible without all of you.” Once again, the crowd cheered, coworkers hugging one another, some individual conversations began again much like they assumed that was the end of his speech.

“Woah everyone, don’t worry we will return back to the alcohol and good times in a moment…” He began trying to regain control of the situation, “but first I’d like to recognize the people we really couldn’t have done this without… all of our directors.” Yet another applause, “But mainly our marketing director, Erwin Smith and our temporary creative director Levi Ackerman.”

Erwin smiled, and waved robotically, when his coworkers turned to recognize him. Not to say Erwin was arrogant because he wasn’t but he had learned how to deal with recognition and achievement modestly pretty early on in life.  Pixis an older gentleman and the managing director - who has no doubt already had his fill of alcohol if the blush on his cheeks and the overly happy smile on his face was anything to go on-, came by to pat him on his back to show his appreciation as well.

Darius then finished his speech with a “Have fun everyone, we have the open bar until midnight.” To which unsurprisingly everyone went wild.

The office got decorated the night before by a professional, so it looked impressive and not at all like the plain building it usually was. Shiny silver silk cloth fell in pools from the walls, lined with balloons of a black, silver and gold color scheme. Silky gold cloth covered all the table and desk top surfaces which each held a different polished vase. There was a large open bar on the right near Levi’s temporary office and on the back wall was a long table of cookies, pastries, and other savory horderves, all of which tried to follow the color scheme as well.

It was more extravagant then their usual office parties – excluding Christmas, everyone went out of there way for that one – and it probably had to do with the underground company being such a big and wealthy supporter.

“Congrats.” Erwin turned towards his friend, Nile, who held a glass of what looked like champagne out to him. He hesitated. “It’s ginger-ale, you pansy.”

The blonde smiled appreciatively, taking the drink. It’s not that he didn’t drink alcohol, it’s just he found it unprofessional to get sloppy and drunk at the office whether it was a party or not.

“Thanks, Nile.” He took a sip, and looked into the crowd of people immediately finding Levi, much like he’d known where he’d find him. He was standing slouched with a champagne fluke in one hand and the other shoved in his pocket. He seemed to be in the middle of a conversation but Erwin couldn’t see who with from his current position.

“You’re being quiet tonight.” Nile finally retorted, seeing as Erwin wasn’t going to start a conversation.

“Am I?” He blinked away from the ravenette to turn his attention, “I’ve never truly been the social butterfly.”

“You sure as hell know that’s bullshit, Erwin.” He says, “Back in the day, you would never shut up and you were the biggest flirt.”

Erwin huffed a laugh, “back before Marie? Before I was forced to move out of my home?”

The lengthy man, sighed. “What a joy kill, you have become.” He downed his entire glass of champagne and stepped in front of the blonde. “It’s been months since then Erwin, it’s time to move on. Stop self-pitting yourself and try meeting someone new.” He looked around himself, a scowl on his face, “Anyone of these women would be willing to date you. I never hear the end of it from the females in my department, talking about how good-looking you are.” Nile groaned frustrated, bringing the fluke back to his lips to realize he’d already drank all the fluid, which seemed to further his irritation. “Just like high school, never satisfied with what you have.” He seemly mumbled like it was unintended for Erwin to hear. “I am heading to the bar. Do you want another… ginger-ale?” he hissed out the last word with distaste.

Erwin shook his head, watching him walk away before looking back into the crowd, maybe Nile was right, maybe he should get back in the dating pool, but instead of scoping out the woman obviously giving him the eye, his blues went back to the place Levi was. He was still there. Still deeply invested in a conversation with probably the same person.

Once taking a quick look around, not wanting it to be obvious who he was look at, the blonde took a few steps to the side, craning his neck to trying and see who the shorter man was talking to.

A sinking feeling in his chest and a churning in his stomach started that not even the ginger ale could calm. Levi was conversing with a slightly taller boy dressed nicer than usual with his hair gelled into something other than its normal bird’s nest, but besides all that there was no mistaken who it was. Eren.

A sickening annoyance washed over his being, making the hair on his body stand on end. Questions rushed to the for front of his mind; Why was he talking to his intern? What could they possibly be talking about? And frankly who had even invited him? Erwin stopped himself. Why did he care?

Over the past few weeks, he and Levi had been getting along very well and they worked well together too, their opinions and minds though opposite were also in sync. The cooperation had put them where they were now, close to the end of the project. They’d been meeting up, discussing sketches, checking progress and just all around keeping pretty good company, or so he’d thought. Everything had been going smoothly, yet why wouldn’t Levi come talk to him? The shorter man hadn’t even spared Erwin a glance or a hello. So much for building a friendship… Was he just delusional thinking that Levi wanted to even be his friend? Maybe those days were past and Levi doesn’t think of him as the Erwin he once knew. The blonde felt himself grow more morose as he began to think that maybe Levi never got over what he had did to him in the past. The night they’d shared ten years ago. To this day, the blonde was unsure of what he had done but that didn’t mean he didn’t feel bad about it. It weighed on him, even now.

Erwin drank the rest of his soda swallowing it down forcefully feeling the burn of the carbonation, and pushed all of that to the back of his mind. He just needed to clear his head. He placed his empty champagne fluke on a nearby table and headed to the bathroom. He pushed through the dark wood door, - with probably more strength then he needed - and immediately went to the sink to splash some cold water on his heated face. He felt not himself lately. Like he was a hallow shell of who he once was, completely empty on the inside.

He turned off the faucet and found the clear blue of his eyes in the mirror. Apparently not only did he feel empty, he looked it too. He was pale, bags under his eyes that he’d never remembered seeing before his hair even looked thinner. “What is going on?” He asked himself out loud, but he knew. He was smart and self-aware. His life had fallen apart, crumbled just like it had his senior year of high school just on a larger scale. All but a few months ago (6 or so) everything had been great, he had the life most dreamed of. He had a beautiful wife, a successful career and not to toot his own horn but he still looked the same from when he was eighteen. Once again he’d found himself in a place where everyone liked him, admired him, envied him but now… he’d lost pretty much everything, except his job and the ghost of his past, Levi, had even threated that. What kind of test was this? Why did he deserve this?

He grabbed a paper towel and dried his face. “Get it together, Erwin. This isn’t like you. You’re”—

He stopped when he heard the unmistakable noise of the toilet flushing, now feeling even stupider for not checking to see if there was anyone else in the bathroom. He considered making a run for the door but the click of a lock told him it was too late for an escape. So, he just acted normal.

“Talk to yourself often?”

Erwin watched through the mirror as Levi emerged from the stall. Of course, it had to be Levi, he thought. He looked different up close not obstructed by a crowd of people, dressed in a fancier suit then he usually did, crisp and black, pressed white shirt a black tie complete with a black suit jacket. His hair was even gelled back; a way he’d never seen it. The amount of black in the ensemble was seemingly something that would muddle the equal darkness of his eyes but instead it brought the silvery hues to light. For a second, Erwin considered the man something of a curse because the worse he tended to look the more alive Levi seemed to get, like he was sucking the life out of him.  The blonde forced himself to laugh a second past, running his fingers through his hair, -A nervous habit - “Only when I think I’m alone.”

The ravenette walked to stand beside Erwin, busying himself with washing his hands, meticulously a lukewarm look on his face. Erwin watched as he scrubbed with vigor, so close even that he noticed the man smelled different tonight too, he’d used cologne. Which was rather odd, he knew it was a party but to go all out like this, Levi had to be trying to impress someone. Then a thought popped into Erwin’s mind, maybe he was planning on ‘letting off steam’ with Eren again, maybe that’s why he’d been talking to him all night. These ideas marinated in Erwin, stirring up an irrational and disgusted soup in his stomach.

 What could Levi possibly see in that dimwitted brat?

The man, as though he knew what Erwin was thinking, turned to look at him quizzically, as if waiting for an answer to a question he hadn’t asked. His eyes cold, his complexion milky in the bright lighting, which accentuated the pinkness of his lips, pouted and full. He looked like an image straight out of his recent dreams and right then is when he knew he wanted him, here, now.

The blonde stepped towards Levi, a set look in his eyes, then within that split second leaned down and begrudgingly placed his lips to the others wrapping his arms around his frame and pulling him closer, up against his chest. Levi groaned against him in surprise, his eyes blown wide, shocked still before noticing what was happening then immediately tried fighting back. He shoved hard against Erwin’s broad shoulders, floundering to escape his hold.

“Mhat nhe Fuck, Erwem! Met go!” He yelled, coming out entirely muffled against the other’s lips, teeth clicking. But instead of paying attention to the words leaving Levi’s mouth he took the opportunity to shove his tongue inside, laving over the others, exploring the wet expanse. Punches came next, raining heavily on Erwin’s arms, his shoulders, trying to get him to let go but the blonde was persistent, holding strong and still kissing Levi’s lips swollen whilst enduring the resistance. Levi was strong in his abilities his attacks not letting up in strength or forcefulness, but Erwin had the upper hand in weight and height two important factors in any fight, so it was safe to say it was going to be difficult getting out of the blonde’s hold. As an alternative measure, he nipped Erwin’s lip defiantly, drawing blood, in hopes he’d let up a little. Conscientiously, Erwin enjoyed it, finding the rush intoxicating, but he did end up pulling away, licking the scarlet droplets from his lips before he resituated his mouth on the pulse of Levi’s throat, sucking harshly. A sharp gasp left Levi, no doubt Erwin was going to leave a mark. This pissed him off even more, “Fuck you, Erwin!”

 The blonde was unaffected by the curses now being thrown his way along with the punches. He’d never considered himself a masochist – he wasn’t – but the rebelliousness of Levi had always been one of his more attractive aspect and this, though harsher, was no different.

Erwin pushed the man all the way back to the stall he had exited, kissing his lips once again before finally releasing the man in favor of sinking to his knees.

Levi spit and whipped his mouth, his eyes ablaze with fury. A murderous scowl that could send the strongest of men fleeing occupying his face.

Working fast, Erwin, unbuttoned and unzipped his fly.

Levi looked down on him finally having calmed down some but his muscles still coiled and ready to snap. “Oh my God, what is wrong with you!” He hollered, a new look of hatred and utter disgust twisting his features. “You perverse swine! I’ll end yo— Ah shit!”

The ravenette’s words stopped abruptly, Erwin swallowing down his recently freed cock in one go. He sucked sloppily desperate in his attempt to coerce Levi to full hardness. “Ah, I hate you. You sick fuck!” Levi continued, He ground his teeth still pushing against Erwin trying to break away from his grasp, from the saccharin suction of his lips but his resolve was beginning to weaken, and soon enough he was pulling sharply on golden locks, canting into his mouth. His head falling back as he moaned with abandon. “Fuuuuuuuck. You’re a piece of shit but you always had a great mouth.” He grunted, pushing himself deeper, shuttering noticeable. “Oh… E-Erwin. Erwin…”

His name being cried to the heavens was what made it all worth it. He pulled away to lick at the tip, placing the head back in his mouth humming, still hearing his name, gaining confidence each time it was repeated. “…Erwin, Erwin. Hello? Erwin?”

The blonde blinked hard, looking around himself. He was in the bathroom, back near the sink, the bathroom stall Levi had come out of was still ajar, empty. He wasn’t kneeling on the tile floor, his jaw aching with the weight of another’s cock on his tongue, and there were no fingers raking harshly through his hair.

There was a snap of a finger close to his face, and his attention quickly shifted to Levi. Completely clothed, pristine, not a hair out of place. None of it had happened but his heart was still pounding like it had.

“Erwin? What the fuck are you staring at?” He asked, though the statement held more concern then wrath and that just embarrassed him further.

“I’m sorry. I just spaced.” He muttered, scrubbing his hands over his eyes. He was clearly losing his mind, perhaps Nile hadn’t been entirely honest about that ‘ginger ale’, because his head never felt so muddled.

Levi cleared his throat in a way that suggest he was extremely uncomfortable with the situation, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Well… Imma go…” He said, turning and heading for the door.

\--“To talk to Eren?” Erwin mentally face palmed, he’d had lost control of his life, his mind and now clearly his mouth, “I mean because this is your first and will be your only office party here, maybe you should try mingling with some other people.” He added.

Levi looked back at him, smugly, like Erwin’s added attempt to not look like a desperate, jealous stalker hadn’t worked. “No, I was going to say I was going to go home but now I’m curious. Who do you suggest I talk to? You, Erwin?”

The blonde looked away from the others face, not prepared for such a response. Obviously, he wanted to say yes to that but once again he’d put himself in the position of looking jealous and desperate. “Uh well…”—

“If you want to know why I didn’t come talk to you, it’s because all you ever talk about is work. And shit, Erwin, I am in no mood to know how the customer percentile is looking or about how much of our budget is left to implement the final steps of the project.”

Erwin felt a twinge of pain in his chest, his ex-wife used to say the same thing, say that he was obsessed and that all he cared about was his professional goals. “Well we were… are partners. That’s our job but…” He paused, “I am very much capable of holding a conversation not about work.”

“Oh really?” That mocking huff of a laugh filled the empty bathroom, as he turned back towards the door. Erwin straightened his shoulders feeling as though Levi was challenging him.

“Do you like Mexican food?”

Levi looked back once again the smirk falling from his lips, “huh?”

“I do. I kind of always had a weak stomach, though the spices don’t agree well with me so I can’t eat it often but one of my favorite restaurants happens to be a Mexican cuisine place called Aztec, my favorite dish is this huge burrito that is filled with cheese and beans and not only beef but also chicken and salsa and sour cream, which I always ask for extra even though they charge me, and it’s always steaming when it gets to the table and it’s really amazing but I always get sick afterwards. It’s worth it.” Erwin finished, taking a breath and waiting for the ravenette’s response.

Levi stared at him from the door for a good long awkward while, his expression unreadable, Erwin could hear his heartbeat in his ears but then a wide smile broke out and Levi actually laughed. A booming, side clutching laugh.

The blonde held his ground, standing tall even as the other laughed shamelessly at his expense.

“A speech about Mexican food isn’t a conversation, Erwin.”

“Yeah well it was a start to one. Do you like Mexican food, Levi?”

Platinum ores fell over his body and up to his face like he was seeing someone new… “No. I don’t”

“Why?”

“It’s messy and too greasy.” He retorted, - very much a Levi response -

“Interesting. I’d like to know more about the foods you like… or don’t like.” Erwin walked up to the other, “How ‘bout it?”

Levi shrugged, checking his watch on his wrist, like he was unsure if he had the time but ultimately he nodded and they both exited the bathroom.

 Both men started up a much similar conversation in the main party room with the others. Random dumb discussions that started off on food, Levi tended to enjoy, neat foods, anything small and wrapped preferably, like sushi, and tapas. This was also helpful to the fact that Levi also had a small mouth. Erwin laughed at this suggesting that Levi had a small everything, to which he received a punch to the gut. It was no surprise that he was still sensitive to his stature after so many years. The conversation progressed to interests, Levi happened to enjoy cooking, to this, Erwin explained he couldn’t even boil water but that he did enjoy board games. He was a huge fan of words with friends and he was a champion of virtual chess and checkers. As time went on and people seemed to get drunker, and their topics of conversation got more personal, they both decided to migrate to Erwin’s office to indulge themselves further, more privately.

“You haven’t changed.”

Erwin’s eyes expanded a bit, as he quickly turned to look at Levi. Till now neither of them had mentioned the past, had mentioned what they both knew.

“No?”

The ravenette shook his head. “At first I thought so, but now I see clearly you’re still the same nerd from high school.”

Erwin looked away, not exactly sure where this conversation was going to go.

Levi continued. “You knew, right? That it was me?”

He nodded in response, still not looking him in the eyes. “Not at first…” Erwin stood from the chair next to Levi’s to sit in his office chair behind his desk. He opened the drawer on the left side and proceeded to search for a key, “Did you change your name?”

“Ah. You catch on to that?” Silences seeped into every response, as if they were both trying desperately to ignore the elephant in the room. “Yeah. I was using my step father’s last name back in high school but once I…” left? Was that what he was going to say? He reconsidered, “I decided to take my mother’s name when they split up.”

“Oh that explains it.” He muttered the reply, finding the key and going to open a similar drawer beneath it, this one however needing the key he held. “Want a drink?”

Levi looked at him skeptically, raising a brow.

Erwin lifted the bottle of scotch from out of his locked drawer and set it on the desk.

“You keep liquor in your office desk?”

The blonde smirked deviously, “Don’t tell anyone?”

Levi nodded a second later, “Sure, I’ll have a glass but can you handle one?”

He removed two glass tumblers from the desk as well setting them on the surface, giving Levi a questioning look to continue as he poured the servings.

“Well I remember that you use to not be so great with liquor.”

Erwin set one of the two glasses at the edge of the desk making it easier for the other to reach before swirling his own glass in his hand thoughtfully. “Between you and I, I’m still not, but one glass won’t do anything. I haven’t drunk anything all night.”

He took a tentative taste, enjoying the bitterness.

“Good. You are a terrible drunk.” Levi muttered.

“So I’ve heard.” He took another small sip.

It was true, Erwin didn’t handle alcohol well, but it wasn’t because he necessarily got sloppy or loud or angry but because he got needy. Erwin was a needy drunk. In most cases, he was a sensitive person at heart, he just did a very good job of concealing it behind a stoic and often commanding presence. However, once alcohol was added to the mix, it tore down all those walls that he maintained during the day and most the time what was hiding beneath it was aloneness. Even when he had been married he’d still felt alone at times. He had no explanation for it but it was the reason he tended to latch on to others when inebriated. Thinking back to the first time he’d been drunk in front of Levi, he was certain the man knew this all too well, better than anyone else that is. He’d experienced it firsthand.

Then the party swam into view, memories of that night, eleven years ago. He had gotten shit faced that night and his walls fell. The insecurities he’d felt no longer interfered and he had attacked the shorter man, not nearly like he’d imagined earlier but still just as unwarranted.

His blue eyes dragged across the desk to make contact with a pair of eyes also watching him.

Erwin pushed his glass a little way away from him, blinking back down to the surface top. He hadn’t had much to drink and he was far from being wasted but yet a warmth was beginning to fill his stomach with the thoughts. If it hadn’t been for that night and if he hadn’t had gotten so drunk would he be sitting here feeling this way now. Now all the sudden, trying desperately to avoid platinum eyes and trying now to not look at gelled raven hair or thin pink lips. These were the same thoughts he had all those years ago, like he was once again eighteen and confused and yet also intrigued, curious.

He’d been repressing it for weeks now but maybe it was possible he was starting to like him again – if the dreams and fantasies weren’t obvious enough to this fact – but something else told him that maybe it was just that he’d never stopped.

His lips twitched. The silenced had stretched on long enough and now he was itching to say something, but what? What could he tell Levi now?

He took a deep breath and let it out, “Levi…”

The ravenette, mid drink from his glass – it was almost finished – flicked his eyes to Erwin’s, waiting for further conversation.

He swallowed, preparing to continue when someone kicked open his door, the wood swinging wildly and hitting the wall with a bang.

Neither of the two men in the room even flinched, instead both their gaze shifted to the passage to find a lengthy man with a cheeky scowl on his face.

“Nile?”

“oye, there you are Erwin…” He crossed his arms look over the other occupant of the room “…with this spawn.”

Levi sneered playfully, but didn’t grace the man’s comment with a response.

“Did you need something?” The blonde asked rashly, just a little peeved that Nile had interrupted so rudely.

His browns snapped back to Erwin, his face falling very serious. “I need to speak with you.”

The blonde leaned back in his chair, “Okay, proceed.”

“Alone.”

Erwin quickly spared a glance to Levi, before quickly returning to Nile, “Can this wait? I am in the middle of a” –

“No it’s fine.” Levi cut in, standing up from the chair, “It’s late. I’ll go.” He placed the empty glass on the desk and walked to the door.

“Wait… Levi you don’t have to…” He trailed off, there goes his desperation again.

The ravenette raised his hand in a wave, his eyes saying they will talk another time before he exited and Nile slammed the door behind him.

Erwin’s heart fell. He was going to finally say something. He wasn’t sure what but he was going to say something and now his opportunity was shot. When would he get a chance to be with Levi alone like that again?

“Were you two drinking?”

Blue eyes darkened, “What is so important that you needed to do that, Nile?” He seethed.

The lanky man laughed heartily falling down in the seat Levi had been occupying a few moments before.

“Why are you so upset?”

“I am not joking with you, Nile. What is it you had to say?”

He clicked his teeth, Erwin’s seriousness having rubbed off on him and he leaned forward in the chair the humor he once had, entirely gone. “I just came to get you away from that incubus.”

Erwin stilled, the anger that was soon to come not yet hitting him. So, he was just stayed stung, looking at Nile like he was crazy. “…W-why? Why would you do that?” He could feel his blood starting to build to a boil, “Why the hell would you do that?” He stood from his chair.

Nile stayed planted, a mask of indifference on his face, “You should be thanking me…”

“Thanking you?”

His brows furrowed, his forehead crinkling with anger, “Yes. That guy is going to ruin you like he did ten years ago!”

Erwin shrank back albeit only a little. This was now the first time in a decade that someone had brought of the incident. Not that he was in denial of its occurrence but it had been so long that it felt disjointed from him, like it had happened in another life. But that wasn’t true, it had happened and it hurt him even to this day. That was none of Nile’s concern though, why did he feel the need to interfere? Then it all began to click with Erwin. “Did you say something to him?”

“Yeah, actually I told him to leave you alone.”

Fists clutched at Erwin’s side and just like that his momentary doubt turn right back into sheer anger, “I could kill you right now with how infuriated I am.”

Nile stood as well, slamming the palms of his hands down on the deck top, locking blue with brown, “I can’t believe you are so blind as you can’t see what’s happening and how I am protecting your ungrateful ass.”

Erwin scoffs, “Ungrateful?”

“Yes. He’s not here for you, Erwin. Whatever you think is going to come of this is delusional. Levi is going to mess with your head then leave you.” He turned folding his hands over his chest then mumbled to himself, “My god only you would ignore all the woman fighting for your attention just so you can dig up some old fling. Disgusting.”

“It is not your job to protect me, Nile. And I don’t appreciate you going behind my back and talking to Levi about me.” Then to make his point, he added, “We aren’t like that. We are just friends…” Though he’d be lying if he’d said he wanted nothing more.

Nile body posture changed, his shoulders slacked and he turned back to Erwin a new look of concern riddling his features.

“…Fuck. It seems that I am too late. You’re already infatuated with him… again.” He paused, his eyes flickering away from his profile, “You are so stupid, Erwin. You want me to ignore the past? I can’t. I remember back when you to were “just friends”, when he disappeared and you locked yourself away from everyone for months. Do you remember when you started missing class and your grades suffered, when you stopped playing football and lost your scholarship? Because I do. I remember very clearly you crying on Mike and I's shoulders over that dwarf demon. You can deny it all you want but don’t try to tell me because I KNOW what happened and when he leaves you high and dry, don’t come crying to me, Erwin, because I told you it would happen. I warned you then and I am trying to warn you now.”

“That was ten years ago, Nile. I am no longer a child, I can” –

“So what now that you’re an adult you are immune to depression? You know that’s not true, Erwin. I mean come on, you’re still mopping about your ex-wife, who you’ve been separated from for months. You two were married for six years and yet you never defended her the way you’re defending Levi right now. I don’t know if it is because he was your first love or whatever but you never got over him. I repeat, now that he’s back he will reopen that same wound and he WILL destroy you yet again and you’re going to let him.”

There was a sting of pain in Erwin, he had so much he wanted to say but instead he spit, “Leave. Now” He tched, turned and left.

He slouched back in his chair, his entire body vibrating with a rage he fought hard to suppress. Nile’s words were harsh and unnecessary and rude and impeding and… true. The worse part of it all was that Nile had hit the nail on the head.

Levi never left his head or his heart no matter how much he tried to express otherwise. Getting married, starting a family, he wondered if those things he once thought he wanted were just so he could forget the one person he wanted but couldn’t have. And if that were the case, it was no wonder his marriage fell apart. For the past two months that the ravenette had been here he’d gotten over the divorce, somewhat, what was once a horrible situation that would haunt him through his day was now Levi, nothing but Levi on his mind constantly. He had been lonely recently, he’d considered he missed his wife but truthfully he couldn’t bring himself to really care about Marie or how she was doing anymore. His wife wasn’t necessarily who he was missing, he just missed companionship. A void really anyone could fill at this point but Levi was who he wanted. His mind hadn’t been able to function right since he’d come to this understanding. Continuously, showing the man how needy he was for affirmation and attention from him. In hindsight, it was humiliating. He couldn’t fathom how Levi must see him, bowing at his feet, chasing him like an abandoned pup. What was he even going to say if Nile hadn’t of barged in?

The things he’d been considered were horrendous. He had really been thinking of bringing up the incident. Actually, asking why he’d left. Telling him he wanted to know him like he used to. His face soured at the thought. This was tearing him up inside.

Nile was right, he was expecting something to come of this but it was a fantasy thought, that’s it. Levi was probably eager to get away again. He’d had to have left for a reason before anyways, and that reason was Erwin so why would he stay now? Why would he want anything to do with him? He didn’t, thought Erwin dejectedly. He needed to get a grip.

At first he’d thought Levi coming here was a sign if not a blessing but maybe it’d been a curse.

* * *

 

“Levi!”

The ravenette felt his heart jump from his chest as the bulky blonde came rushing into his office. He had a giddy smile on his face, his usually perfect hair in disarray as he lugged his laptop to Levi’s desk, the door slamming heavy behind.

He didn’t know what had gotten into the man to put such a pep in his step. The project had finally came to an end so Erwin was the last person he had honestly expected to see come running to his room yelling like a child.

“What?” He deadpanned, hoping his own placid demeanor would cause the blonde to tone down his suffocating excitement but he was clearly on about something because he was still brimming with joy.

“The technology company you work for, finally approved of the new logo.”

Levi’s rolled his eyes. This wasn’t news, the project was over of course they’d had to approve of something. The question still held: Why was Erwin so excited about that?

“Don’t you want to see what they chose?” He enthused, turning his laptop facing Levi and lifting the screen.

“I am assuming it was that horrendous tunnel drawing they forced me to do…”

The screen lit up to the technology companies new and improved website, nothing new as Levi was in charge of that as well but in the corner was not the tunnel he’d drawn, well not only the tunnel, peaking behind it was another drawing he’d done. The sun. Levi’s eyes slowly ascended up to Erwin, surprised.

“I know it’s not only the sun, they didn’t approve of that but I convinced them to at least include it and when it gains more recognition, they can eventually change it entirely.”

“…How did you…?”

“I pitched it myself a few weeks back over a video call. I gave them your whole spiel about what it represents and how it would be beneficial to them and they loved the idea.” He paused, letting it marinade with the ravenette, “In fact, they said they hadn’t expected anything less from their highly valued creative director.”

Levi looked back down to the screen, warm flooding his cheeks. They hadn’t said that last part, he knew his bosses too well and they weren’t really the type to ooze complements like that but it was kind for Erwin to add such words.

“Erwin… I don’t know what to” – The tall blonde raised his hand, to stop Levi’s train of thought.

“There is no need to thank me, it was your idea after all. I was just the messenger.”

“Still, you didn’t have to go out of your way, Erwin.”

The blonde divulged his winning smile, a sinful air underlying it, Levi internally scoffed. The basturd was still handsome, that was certain. “Fine, if you feel so incline to repay me.” He shut his laptop and gripped it in his hands once again, milking the ravenette’s patients before continuing. “Accompany me out to dinner.”

Levi hadn’t been expecting that and frankly he didn’t know what to say. Of course he wasn’t going to say no after every he’d done but… what did this suggest? Was it a simple outing among coworkers or was it something more. Erwin didn’t seem to be looking for a response because he was already exiting the room.

“Erwin.” He called, the man turned back, a cocksure look on his face, like he already knew the answer. The gesture alone made Levi want to say no just to throw him off but… “Sure.”

“Good, I’ll see you then.”

 

* * *

 

 

Erwin had hashed out the details over an email. The professional explanation and delivery made this feel more like a dinner meeting but Levi was thankful for this. He hadn’t been on a “date” in ages. Relationships weren’t his forte. Having to tiptoe around someone’s feelings and having to decipher what is going on inside some else’s mind was exhausting and in all honestly annoying. He hated having to sit and make small talk with someone he barely knew, and for what? It’s not like he could ever see himself getting married or something like that? Being some house husband, or some shit? No way. It was so much easier to just skip the cheesy waste of time and get to what everyone wanted in the first place; sex.

The conversation he’d had with Erwin at the party came easily, that was true but as soon as they’d started to discuss the past, Levi started to feel nauseous. The way Erwin was looking at him, with his intense cerulean eyes was unnerving. So much so that he was actually relieved when Nile barged in and granted the means to an easy escape.

The blonde was going to say something. Levi didn’t know what but he had his theories. Erwin had been around him constantly lately, of course for working on the project but it had felt like more than that as well. Most likely something neither of them were prepared to discuss.

Somehow the professional email he’d sent the dinner information in made him consider that the blonde just wanted to actually discuss work. This fact was comforting. Sure work talk was boring and yes he’d complained about it before but it was way better than the alternative.

So following the work day, Levi found himself meeting Erwin outside the office and walking side by side to the restaurant. He’d said it was only a short stroll away, being that their work building was in the heart of the city. Levi didn’t mind this either. It would have been far more awkward if he had to ride in a secluded car with the man or in a cab. Like this they couldn’t get personal because they were in public. It was way easier to avid conversation as well. Though he wasn’t sure why he would be trying to avoid conversing with the blonde, and he was very uncertain as to why he felt it would be awkward? He wasn’t even sure why he was nervous but as they got closer, Levi’s heart only increased in beats.

“Here we are.” Erwin finally concurred, standing and look up to a ritzy looking glass building. Levi was surprised, it had been a much shorter walk then he had been anticipating. Not to mention, he’d wasted the whole time worrying about a discussion they were going to have when they hadn’t even talked the entire way there.

It was already started to get pretty dark so the lights illuminating the inside of the building made it easy to see from the outside. Golden chandeliers spotting the ceiling, marble flooring, cream table cloths, it was clearly expensive. They entered through the door being held by a door man and made their way across the spacious area. It looked like some where you’d take a snooty girl you were trying to impress or a boss for the same reason but this hadn’t been what Levi was expecting from Erwin’s email.

“You bring your coworkers to such a fancy place often?” He retorted, trying to gage what Erwin’s intentions bringing him here might be.

He smiles down at Levi, warmly. “Yes. It’s one of my favorite places to come plus the fiscal year is almost over so it’d be our last chance to get it financed to the company.”

He then turned towards the hostess, a young girl seeming to brighten with the look of the tall blonde. Maybe they knew each other? Or possibly she was like every other woman in the world that was powerless to Erwin’s charm.

She grabbed two menus that looked like laminated pieces of paper glued onto leather and directed them to a table in the far corner of the broad restaurant. Just one other thing Levi was grateful for. She proceeded to give her spiel, the specials of the day, the chefs choice, the dietary options, all of which Levi ignored in favor of browsing the menu himself, occasionally peeking over it to find Erwin’s clear blues ever present on him, a subtle smile softening his features, seeming not to be listening either. He’d quickly look back down.

“So what crap do you typically get here?” The ravenette, groaned, laying the menu flat. He couldn’t make out a single thing that sounded appetizing. It was like it was in a foreign language.

Erwin shrugged, laying his down as well. “The menu changes daily. So, I always get something different.”

Levi scoffed. What kind of place can change their menu daily and yet keep up such a ritzy feel? Wasn’t that the equivalent of rebranding daily? What kept the guests from coming back? Ugh he was starting to sound like Erwin, the workaholic himself.

The blonde rested his chin on his interlocked fingers, looking at the smaller with intense amusement, “It has its own winery.” He began, once again having had read Levi’s mind, “I think most people come to enjoy their extensive collection of exclusive wines.”

“Do you?”

“Yeah. I’ve partaken a few times before. It’s very good. We should get a bottle.” He pushed the center display of their wine selection closer to the other, “Choose whatever you like.”

So, he did, choosing a red wine that seemed to satisfy his pallet, a cabernet. The bottle came with a cheese plate that paired well with it, mostly aged cheddar and pecorino. Erwin in turn had ordered for them both, Levi trusting whatever he decided since he was the one familiar with the establishment.

So far the majority of the talking was taken up by ordering, wine tasting and shoving cheese in their mouths but with just waiting on their food there was nothing left to do but converse. Levi began. This even surprised himself but he’d been curious and it was a better time than ever to understand.

“So How have things been at home? The wife doing okay?”

The blonde nearly choked on a piece of pecorino, his azure eyes wide and boggled. “E-excuse me?” He coughed out. Why did Levi think he was married?

The ravenette looked away, feeling embarrassed. He didn’t know why Erwin was acting like it was an unusual question to ask. It was a friendly gesture. “I was just wondering how the wife is doing. Skip the dramatics, Erwin.”

The blonde chuckled lightly. “It’s just that… I’m not married. Why did you think I was?”

“Hmm…” He motioned to the wedding ring on Erwin’s finger, folding his arms over his chest and raising a brow like it had been obvious, which it kind of was in hindsight.

Erwin looked down. Of course, he’d forgotten he wore it. It had been become common habit in their six years to never take it off, so much so that he hardly ever realized it was there.

“Oh…” He sighed out, removing the ring and replacing it on his right hand instead. “We’re divorced. It was finalized about six months ago.”

The cheese in Levi’s gut seemed to bubble up uneasily. No wonder he’d reacted in such a way. He supposed his question wasn’t as harmless as he’d originally thought.

Erwin saw this on Levi’s face. He didn’t want it to be awkward between them because of this one incident that hadn’t even been his fault. “It’s fine. I don’t blame you for thinking that way. I was wearing the ring after all.” He retorted, also giving the other man a reassuring smile.

“I’m sorry, that that happened. Divorce is… it sucks. I’d know.” He spoke. Levi had come to know this all too well. The separation he had to go through with his step father and his mother in his teen years were just shy of being hell for him. No explanation was need for Erwin. He understood entirely what Levi meant by what he’d said, it just came with knowing someone for so long.

“Yeah. We’re just grateful no children had come of us.”

Levi nodded. “How long were you two together?”

“Six years married, one separated and I’d known her since high school.”

A new light of amusement flickered in Levi’s eyes. “Did you?”

Erwin smiled like he’d found something to be funny, leaning forward on the table. “Do you remember, Marie?”

Levi scoffed. He hadn’t heard that name in years. “Please don’t tell me you married that stalker. Pardon the name.”

Erwin laughed. “I don’ care, she’s my ex-wife after all. But yeah.” He paused and Levi shook his head like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “We met again after high school in college. By that time, she’d matured a lot and we kind of hit it off.”

“I’m sure she was happy. She finally got what she’d wanted.”

“Not really.” The blonde sighed, lifting the bottle from the ice bucket and pouring some more wine into his glass, capping off the Levi’s glass as well. “I wasn’t the greatest husband.”

“I doubt that. You are notorious for putting the blame on yourself.”

Erwin shook his head. “I wasn’t around as much as I should have been, physically _and_ mentally. She’d always tell me that I wasn’t giving her a hundred percent me. To this day I’m not entirely sure what she meant.” He thought about it often, though and he did have some clue. She would tend to complain about work but that’s not what she meant. It had more to do with him not being as open as he’d once been.

Levi sipped his own glass of wine. Having no real advice to offer to Erwin, in this situation or really any idea for a change of topic.

“Enough about my broken relationship, how about you? Seeing anyone special?”

Levi snorted, finding the question humorous. “No.”

The blonde hummed curiously, “Why is that so funny?”

“I don’t do relationships.”

“Why’s that?”

“They’re a waste of time.” He shrugged, “Too much effort for sex.”

“But a relationship isn’t about sex, Levi.”

“Which is exactly why I don’t do relationships.”

“Point taken.” He sighed watching as the waiter returned with their entrees and then left before he spoke again, “Maybe if I had your mentality, I wouldn’t be in my current funk.”

“You couldn’t be that way, Erwin.”

“And why not?” He seemed to mutter half interested in what Levi would say and half interested in the steaming medium well filet mignon now sitting before him.

“You bring emotions into everything.” He picks up his own fork, using his lap napkin to clean it, “I couldn’t even see you doing one night stands.”

“I’ll have you know, back in college I had plenty of one night stands.” They were always with a cute smaller male with raven hair for obvious reasons. And the emotions he tried to act like didn’t exist were always just suppress by a lot of liquor, when that was gone he was a sorrowful mess. These were all things Levi didn’t need to know though.

“I’m sure alcohol had more to do with it then will.” The ravenette assessed. Clearly, he knew Erwin a bit too well.

Erwin couldn’t exactly argue with him there. At the beginning, he’d even get so shit faced that he’d call the males he was with by Levi’s name and they’d let him. He swallowed the guilt and humiliation the memories brought to surface. He couldn’t even imagine how disguised Levi would be if he knew all that.

He changed topics, “So a creative director. I never would have guessed this was what you’d be doing.”

“Yeah well free-lance doesn’t really pay the bills.”

“Well you appear to be very talented. How long have you been doing art?”

That’s right, Erwin had never known about his talent. Like much of Levi’s hobbies and likes, he kept them secrets. Even back in high school he decided to keep such a part of himself away from Erwin. He always feared if he knew the man would insist on seeing some of them and let’s just say around that time more than 80% of them were drawings of the blonde. Back then he considered it a challenge of his ability. It was extremely difficult to imitate such perfection on paper, or so he’d say as a way to mask the true feelings and reasons as to why he was so obsessed with Erwin. But It was true he had always liked being creative, it had started off small when he was very young with crafts and progressed to intricate sketches. “My whole life, I guess.”

Erwin’s heart sank. He’d never known Levi enjoyed drawing, he thought he’d spent every moment with him back in high school. How had he never known? He didn’t particularly know why but it disappointed him. “… I suppose I didn’t know as much about you as I had thought.”

 

 

They spent the next hour or so eating dinner and chatting lightly, sharing aspects of their lives from the past ten years. In essence, making up for old times in a way. Erwin learned to his amazement that Levi hadn’t persuaded a secondary education. He’d managed to obtain his job from a man whom wanted to use his art for a logo. He moved up to a director within only three short years and had remained there ever since.

“Certainly, not a bad position to be in.” Erwin mused rather impressed. They were on their last course of the meal, polishing off their second bottle of wine as well.

“Yeah well. Being able to do art is one thing but traveling has been the biggest perk.”

“I take it, you enjoy travel then?”

“Think it’s all I ever wanted to do.” Levi’s voice was significantly softer when he’d spoken those words.

Erwin marveled at the expression on the raven’s face. He’d never seen him so relaxed.

They finished up after that, Erwin had put it on the company card and they’d left without a word.

Once they got back outside, it had gotten significantly chiller, Erwin having to button up his blazer, holding it closer to himself. He had heard amongst some coworkers that a cold front was coming through. Despite that he walked towards the street and hailed a taxi in no time at all. He opened the door and gestured for Levi to get in. He did but not before giving Erwin a quizzical gaze when he’d said his goodbye.

“You’re not going home?” He asked.

“I am.” Erwin removed his hand from the door in favor of stuffing them in his pockets when a gust of wind came through. “I’ll get another taxi.”

“No, we’ll take the same one.”

* * *

He fished his key out of his trouser pocket and unlocked his apartment door.

“I still haven’t finished unpacking…” He said, trying to construct his defense against whatever curt comment Levi was going to say once he got inside. Instead the man just scoffed stepping past the threshold. His gray eyes scanning the vicinity with a look of sheer disgust on his face.

Erwin didn’t know why besides the knowledge that Levi was a germaphobe, always had been. The place was relatively neat, it came fully furnished so it was the same as it was when he’d first arrived albeit a few boxes, not yet unpacked. Most of which just had clothing and possibly some other décor pieces. He wouldn’t even know where to put them nor did he really care. This was mostly because he didn’t do much there besides eat and sleep, making it so the place didn’t have the charm of feeling lived in at all.

He made sure the door was closed and locked following Levi’s entry, before heading to the open kitchen to the left. The apartment was spacious with an entirely open floorplan. The only doored places were the bedroom, bathroom and the office. There was a second floor that could be seen from the first, that was open as well giving it much of a loft feel. Levi was all too unsurprised. It was exactly what he had expected from Erwin. The formality of the place even with the unobstructed layout, screamed all business with a touch of modern flair.

  Erwin could feel his anxiety building whilst watching the ravenette venture around his place, his face pinched with distain as he ran his finger over every surface, checking it with each pass.  “Like I said, Levi, I have yet to finish…”—

“That’s not an excuse. You’ve been here for like months.” He remarked, kicking aside a box or two to finally get to the couch. Erwin rolled his eyes but couldn’t help but smirk. Might have sounded childish but he still enjoyed ruffling the ravenette’s feathers, if just a bit.

“Would you like anything to drink?”

“Tea.” He muttered, cautiously taking a seat with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Black” They spoke in unison. Erwin’s smile widened with the thought that at least some things never changed.

Levi didn’t seem to notice looking through the reading material laying untouched on the coffee table. There was nothing of interest, just a single issue of the Wall street journal and two Forbes prints.

The blonde searched for the one of two pots he’d unboxed under the counter, in the meantime, filling it with tap water and set it on the stove to boil. Happy that it was the one thing he could actually manage to do in the kitchen. “Feel free to turn on the television to whatever you like.”

 Erwin could hear the familiar click of his flat screen powering on a few moments later, the preset local news channel making it to his ears. Something about the upcoming state governor election, he couldn’t be bothered to pay attention as he unwrapped a large tea filter and placed it into the water once he’d turned down the heat. He left it there to percolate, stepping out to take a seat next to Levi on the couch.

The news was still on, the ravenette’s eyes hyper focused on the screen even though Erwin couldn’t believe he was actually watching. There was a woman on tonight, if Erwin recalled correctly, she was usually the one out on the field but she might had been filling in for someone. He wasn’t an avid news watcher but somehow, he knew this much.

They sat in comfortable silence. A lot had been discussed tonight over dinner so it felt normal to sit and not talk for once. Kind of like, they had progressed to a high enough level of companionship that there was no pressure to fill the quiet. Instead Erwin grabbed the controller the ravenette had left sitting beside him on the couch and channel surfed. He wasn’t looking for anything in particular just something more interesting to pass the time.

Within the next minute, Levi was at his side, closer than before. He could feel his presence; he’s body so close, he could feel his warmth. The blonde did nothing unsure of if the other was even aware that he’d gotten closer. He considered that he had only noticed, himself, because he had come to be keenly aware of Levi’s proximity lately. However, just as he was settling his attention back to the television lips were on his. It was so quick he didn’t know how it had happened or if it had happened at all, but when his mind had finally caught up, he was looking into platinum eyes, lips already separated. The ravenette only centimeters away from his face, his hand grasping his chin in a firm hold. The remote dropped noisily to the wood floor, causing the television to turned off as the clattering echoed on in the now dead quiet.

Erwin blinked hard, and long. Thinking that perhaps this was his mind once again playing a cruel trick on him, like it had in the bathroom. But when they reopened, the ravenette was, in fact, still there. And he moved forward to kiss him yet again, slow. His lips slightly ajar in aw, to which Levi took advantage of when he felt of a wet tongue not his own rove over his. Strong hands reluctantly pushed the smaller away, turning his head and breathing heavily as he tried to reestablish himself. His brain was too stunned to actually understand what was happening but in the meantime he worked on what he did know. Like that he was in his apartment, that Levi had insisted he come along, that the very man he’d been yearning for for the past month or so had actually come out and kissed him; twice. “W-what are you doing?” He croaked, even with the gallons of air he was trying to consume it was still like Levi had left him suffocating.

Levi, now sitting on his haunches -he certainly wouldn’t have been able to reach Erwin’s lips otherwise – reached his hand forward and ran his fingers through the man’s golden hair, meeting his eyes dead on. “I think it’s obvious.” As if to make his point, he leaned up again but Erwin was prepared this time around, stopping the smaller from getting any closer.

 The man’s gray eyes narrowed, like he was peeved by Erwin’s resistance, sitting back down.

 “I assure you, It’s not.” The blonde finally mumbled out.

This time the ravenette, chuckled rather malevolently, his hand slipping from Erwin’s hair in order to pull off his suit jacket. “Isn’t this what you wanted?”

Erwin shook his head slowly, but didn’t divulge a word. What he wanted? Was this Levi’s way of mocking him? Showing him how desperately he’d been acting lately. He was often fearful his intentions were obvious that he was too forward when around Levi.

He continued still, “What? Do you no longer find me attractive?” His smirk told he didn’t think this to actually be true.

“That’s not it. I just… this is weird.” He thought further on how to explain what he was feeling, though he didn’t even know himself. “We can’t do this.” He insisted on instead.

Levi leaned forward, nipping at the underside of Erwin’s jaw this time, “Why’s that?” He asks.

“We’re partners…”

“We were partners. The project is over. I don’t even work for your same company.” His lips traveled down to the hallow of his throat, smart fingers loosening the tie around his neck. His words having ghosted over his skin like a touch causing a break out of sweat all across his body. It was true he’d been wanting this but now faced with such a real possibility it was hard not to poke holes in the situation. Was this why Levi wanted to come home with him? Had he been planning this out all night?

“Yeah but”—Erwin quieted when the chilling warmth of a finger touched his lips. Levi pulled off his own tie with his free hand, undoing the first few buttons of his own shirt and sat up on his knees, using the man’s broad shoulders as support so he could smoothly slip into his lap.

“Stop thinking so much.” He demanded, before replacing his finger with his lips again, sucking a groan out of Erwin. His hands roving down the front of his collared shirt, over the valleys of his muscles easily felt from beneath, then back up. His stature made Levi tingle with want. He’d known he wanted to the blonde to take him again the moment he’d seen him. Sure, most the time his tension was masked by the horror of how Erwin must have felt about him along with the previous thought that he was married but now with all that resolved – for the most part – there was nothing to keep him from getting what he wanted from the man.

Erwin’s lips were gentle, overly so, trying his damnest to take it slow, to the others annoyance. Levi fought to coerce more out of him, still the kiss held doubt on his end. Obviously, the big idiot was still over thinking. He migrated from his lips finding they weren’t giving him much anyway, going down to mouth at his neck again, scooting closer so he could rub himself properly against the bulge in his pants. The blonde let out a subtle sigh of satisfaction, still doubtful in his mind that this was truly happening. That this man that he was certain hated him in the beginning was straddling his lap, riling him up like this. He grinded a little faster, continuing his persistent kissing on the man’s throat, tasting his skin there, inhaling his musky cologne, then blindly unbuttoned his white collared shirt.

Erwin didn’t stop him, finding that his shirt had started to feel restricting as he tried hard to keeping his body from reacting the way in which his brain thought he should. He finally had his figure of desire in his lap all but begging to be touched and yet all he could think about was what Nile had said and what this would mean. In actuality, he should be more than ready and willing to screw the man into the couch but something in him was holding him back. Internally he knew Levi was right, he was over thinking this. Just as the ravenette had said earlier, sex didn’t have to have a meaning or emotions involved. He didn’t do relationships, this was a hook up for him and maybe if he stopped thinking like Levi had suggested, he’d be able to treat it as such too. He wanted Levi for more than one night of course but he’d happily accept this as well. Having made up his mind, he pulled the smaller even closer, hesitantly slipping his hand over thighs still clothes by cotton material to cup firm cheeks.

 The action lit an inferno in Levi’s loins, shocking to the point he withdrew his lips from his neck, meeting blue eyes in an attempt to gage the situation. Erwin wasted no time leaning down to give him an open mouth kiss when the opportunity presented itself, one far better than their beginning interaction. It was bruising, controlling in a way he wasn’t sure Erwin was capable of. Sure the man was disciplined and authoritative in the workplace but Levi didn’t know if that would reflect into the bedroom. The strong grip on his ass and the zealous effort of his tongue now told otherwise. 

The ravenette sighed against his mouth, arching further, sticking his ass out more for Erwin’s caresses. He knew not of where the blonde’s confidence came from all the sudden but he wasn’t going to complain. On the contrary, his mind was slipping into a state of lude consciousness with the possibilities the night held. Of what Erwin would do to him and even what Erwin would want Levi to do.

Erwin couldn’t hide the swell of his clothed erection any long as it grew past the capacity of his pants. Levi now being able to very clearly feel it against his own.

Lips parted with an audible smack, the usual heavy lid of Levi’s eyes looking to be even more so, his lips already kiss swollen and a dark shade of pink, just as he’d remembered them, but more vivid. The entire image of the aroused ravenette he’d stored in his memory from the ten years back and even the recent fantasies he’d had were lackluster in comparison to the real thing.

Levi leaned himself away, his hands fall back over his chest pushing Erwin’s shirt open to feast his eyes on the god that was Erwin Smith. He appeared to have not aged a day since high school, sure he’d gained more hair and the lines beneath his eyes that came with stress and age were visible but when it came to muscle tone there was no mistaking the man kept himself in good health. His chest broad, his abs hard, defined and etched perfectly like a masterpiece but what really drew the ravenette’s attention was the sculpted V that dipped into his trousers, a thin line of blonde curls peeked from the top like an invitation. The fact that he was able to seduce such a man back in his awkward and weird stage of his life was unfathomable. He was still unsure of what Erwin had seen in him back then. Levi stood from Erwin’s lap, his fingertips ghosting over the man’s thighs as he guided himself onto his knees.

Fuck. Was the first thought to occupy Erwin’s overheating mind. This had not been where he was expecting the night to go, now watching Levi look at him from between his legs. A part of him wanted to stop the smaller man, wanted to instead strip him bare and kiss him over every inch of his body but that was too intimate, too emotion-driven. This was a fuck, a onetime thing, so he thought better of it and held his tongue convincing himself to just let Levi do as he pleased. Erwin didn’t even think he had anything left to say that would even stop the smaller – and to be honest did he even want to? – Lord knew he hadn’t had a blowjob since he’d gotten married, just seeing Levi consider it made him hot.

The ravenette was actually surprised, Erwin had nothing to say. He was certain that he’d try to impede in some way or another.

Levi continued what he had been doing, unbuckling the leather of Erwin’s belt and unzipping the seam of his pants. The blonde watched hypnotized as he yanked the material over his powerful thighs and let them drop around his ankles, leaving him in his dark gray boxer briefs. A slight bulge was already present there, just from his own imaginations getting the better of him in the time they were kissing.

Levi pressed the heel of his hand onto the crotch of the blonde boxers. He canted up slightly with the contact, biting back a groan.

The small hand continued in circular motions, feeling the material grow more constricted as he did so, then stroked the length as he would without the cotton barrier, watching a dark spot seep into the cloth. Surprisingly, Erwin managed to keep his eyes open and focused on the ravenette witnessing his every move even though his blues were cloudy, his face already more than a little flushed.

Seeing the uptight workaholic, he’d come to the know the past few months like this was satisfying and the fact alone that he’d managed to revert him to such a state was empowering. The control of this large man was in the palm of his hand, literally.

The blonde had expended all of his patience in no time – making so clear when he started pushing his hips up a little more erratically and fisting his hands in the couch cushion– Levi kneeled taller, peeling away the now damp material, his eyes a glow when his pretty glorious cock sprang forth. He wasted no time grasping the raw appendage in his hand, impressed by its girth. He pumped once, twice; his mouth watering for a taste before ducking his head down to kiss teasingly up the hard flesh.

Erwin stayed silent for the most part albeit a low whimper deep in his chest. Levi pulled away, stealing a glance in the man’s direction, wandering if he would intervene now, a small part of him wished he would. He would welcome the opportunity to see Erwin try and resist such pleasures. “Good?” Was the only word he uttered, lapping the bead of moisture from the engorged tip leaking before him. Erwin just spared a nod, quick, and reassuring.

Once again Levi let off, running his tongue over his lips, savoring a morsel of the heady tang before returning for more this time holding the blonde’s cock upright and taking it into his mouth, all the way down. Erwin fought a jerk, letting go of the breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding with a huff.  He mentally reprimanded himself for being so weak to the sensations Levi was stirring in him. That being said, feeling himself on the back of the ravenette’s throat wasn’t something he’d ever imagined would happen and even if he had, he certainly wouldn’t have imagined it being as good as it was. Levi seemed very experienced, pumping with his mouth, his lips being kept tight around his girth as he worked his way down. He swallowed expertly around him once he’d taken it all.

The ravenette continued on keeping his pace slow, leisurely, Erwin’s cock wet and glossy every time it emerged from his lips. It pretty much stood on its own now, granted Levi the chance to run his palm on his thigh and allowed the other to cup his balls. The blonde couldn’t help but to combat such efforts already having reached his limit, pushing into the heated orifice having to grasp lightly at onyx hair to keep himself somewhat grounded. His hair felt soft under his fingertips and he focused on petting it instead of his impending orgasm. Erwin’s knees fell further apart his blue eyes scanning gray ones all the while, rather caught off guard by the promiscuous look there.

Levi let the flesh fall from between his lips, licking away the saliva that kept them connected. Erwin was relieved the tiniest bit, giving his overflowing arousal a chance to bubble down. He stroked with his hand once more through velvety hair, bringing it down to cup the side of Levi’s face. The ravenette accept the contact, pressing his warmed cheek against the cradled palm – much like an affectionate cat - continuing to stroke the length before him rhythmically as he did. He squeezed tightly around the base, using his thumb to smear the clear fluid that oozed in result from the tip. For the first time, Erwin’s eyes fluttered shut.

“Close already?” He teased.

The blonde’s eyes reemerged from underneath heavy lids, a darkened stark blue. “Yes. I haven’t been touched in such a way for a long time now.”

Levi rolled his eyes, mumbling onto the hot manhood, “sad basturd,” before taking him back in his mouth. Working his tongue over the underside with more speed and purpose, dipping . Erwin rolled his hips not resisting doing so any further, the muscles in his abdomen all flexing visibly beneath his moistened skin. He sunk down in his seat wanting to rest his head back against the cushions but instead kept it down and focused his eyes on Levi’s small open mouth, the ruddiness in his cheeks and the crest of his raven head. He couldn’t take it much longer, a coiling feeling beginning to tighten in his gut. His fingers curled in dark hair once more as he weakly pulled Levi back. He didn’t let up though, instead his mouth seemed to tighten around Erwin, his cunning eyes jumping up to meet his, obvious defiance riddling his features.  

A slight sense of panic shot through Erwin and he forced his lips to move. “L-Levi, I… I’m about to” – He cut himself off, his teeth clicking together as he endured the shutter quaking his body, that of which could have been his undoing had he not have starved it off.

The ravenette pulled him from his mouth to Erwin’s relief, still stroking ruthlessly. “Come.” He demanded, rubbing the head over his lips, poking his tongue through to lick him in addition. Erwin lost it. The thought alone that Levi wanted him to come in his mouth was more than enough to make him blow. And he did. His whole body throbbed, his eyes clutched shut as he emptied himself over the ravenette’s lips, his tongue, his mouth with a grunt and a whimper of complete boneless satisfaction. After, the blonde stayed in a state of shock and bliss, his chest rising and falling rhythmically that being just about the only movement he could maintain at the moment.     

Levi had no problem swallowing it all, licking his lips once he had. He stood up from the floor but didn’t give himself time to stretch out his legs before he was in Erwin’s lap once more, sharing a sluggish, messy interaction of lips. Once again, small fingers worked their way through golden locks pulling their mouths even closer.

Erwin could taste himself there on Levi’s tongue along with the essence of the wine they’d shared for dinner and another flavor distinctly Levi that resembled…

“The tea!” The blonde gasped, pulling back from Levi’s hold. The other stared blankly at him not letting him escape the couch or his grasp. Erwin clarified. “The tea. I left it on the stove.”

Gray eyes turned down as he fought against a smile and an awkward chuckle. “Just when I start to forget what a fucking nerd you are.” His hand still locked in light hair, Levi laid down on his back and brought Erwin down on top of him. He kissed the man again, slower, pulling seductively at him lower lip. It was odd being with Erwin. Sometimes it felt as if the man had a personality disorder, switching off between a horny, hot, God to an uptight, goofy nerd within a drop of a hat.

The blonde settle against the smaller body immediately, digging his strong arms below Levi’s back and hugging him close. The kiss held such passion, and something Erwin couldn’t honestly say he’d felt since a decade ago. He wanted the man again but hated himself for the thought. Instead he forced himself to focus only on pleasure and not love – or what could be thought as love – so he could get through the night without being hurt when Levi left after.

His lips pulled away from the smaller mouth in favor of trailing down to his neck and over an exposed collar bone. “Yeah, fuck the tea.” Levi moaned, his skin a flame everywhere Erwin touched him, the tea in fact forgotten.

He journeyed back up, peppering kisses around the line of Levi’s jaw and tenderly behind his ear, making the man purr, the hands winded in blonde hair lax momentarily, his thighs falling open further than they were, as his entire body seemed to slack, melting in his hold.  This in itself was reassuring, knowing that his advances were having such a tranquil effect.

Once more after having marred the pale skin, he descended dragging his lips as he went, mute fingers opening the ravenette’s shirt the rest of the way. His body though small was strong, powerful, he remembered it being as such even in high school. He had always been puzzled by how the man kept such good shape when he didn’t seem the type for the gym or workouts. Back then he had deduced that the smaller man just had a high metabolism and good genetics. This was a mystery even today, he’d thought, caressing said toned abdomen and chest with large hands roving absent mindedly and slow. His eyes looked to Levi’s face for a split second, before lithe arms wrapped around his neck and he was forcefully tugged down onto waiting lips. This progressed into a hot make out, the blonde’s hands still grope Levi’s body, running down over his sides, his hips, up over his chest, past an extruding nub.

“Shit” Levi hissed.

He pulled away somewhat started by the response he’d received, but he grinned mischievously once realizing his fingers had found purchase on flushed nipples. “Still sensitive here, I see” He articulated flirtatiously, then without further warning, bent forward to wrap his lips around one. Levi’s body shuttered with the initial hot wet feeling around the peak. It stiffed against the rough side of the blonde’s tongue, the other doing the same from the soft pad of his thumb. He switched sides rubbing in circles, pinching and pulling the flesh slick with his salvia while mouthing and gingerly nipping the opposite. The ravenette arches his back wantonly, his chest rising and falling with quick pants, tossing his head back and in doing so exposing the milky column of his throat.

The blonde felt his libido rise the more noises he managed to coerce from the smaller, feeling encouraged when Levi’s fingers slipped into his tresses once more heedlessly tugging and caressing. His legs then hooked onto Erwin’s hips granting him the leverage he needed to press his neglected hard-on against his abdomen.

Erwin sighed, feeling the slightest relief from the action. His own erection hadn’t even deflated not even a bit following his orgasm, giving him no refractory period.

Feeling the same Levi moaned again when he felt the blonde pressed against him. His mind fell hazy just imagining how good it would feel to have it pushed inside, stretching him open. Without thought, he flipped open the latch of his own belt and unzipped his pants, seeking some reprieve. His hand slipped beneath his boxers, his breath catching; a shock coursing through every nerve ending on his body when he grazed the firm and already leaking flesh of his cock.

Erwin watched him do it from above, his body tingling from the hot display. His tongue once more slipped past numb parted lips, reaching his hand into the same underwear, stroking Levi’s erection alongside him.

His palm was large and rough, the friction it provided so extremely delicious, more so when he rutted his hips into it growing erratic as his peak found him.  He turned his head pressing his burning cheek to the tightly woven fabric of the couch breaking the kiss so he could breathe gruffly. “mmm you’re gonna make me come…” Levi sighed.

“You’ve become so shameless.” Erwin spoke, his breath scorching against his ear, “I remember when you use to suppress your noises from me.”

Levi focused his eyes on the man before him having to fight his fluttering lids in order to do so. He opened his mouth for a response only to have a broken whimper come out. Which irritated him because instead of insult Erwin like he’d wanted to for mocking him, he’d showed him how right his statement really was. Levi was far from being a virgin, in fact he was probably the opposite. He liked pleasure and didn’t really mind where he got it from. He’d experienced good lovers and many bad but with Erwin it felt different. Not so much as physical – though the man was sexy as hell – it was more about mentally what he did to him that really got him hot. He couldn’t identify what it was if asked and he sure as hell had no idea what it meant. But the blonde as a whole just got him dick hard.

The strong hand persisted even when Levi pulled his own away, sapphire eyes watching his every move hungrily. He could come from the look alone but he stopped Erwin’s hand anyway. Feeling like he was going to die inside in result of doing so. Despite how good it felt, he wished to come being fucked ruthlessly by the blonde’s thick cock.

With the friction no longer mind numbing and his breathing more settled, if only a little, he managed to find words. “What...?” He rasped, his tone taking on a dark flirtatious note, “Did you expect the naïve virgin from High school?” He sat up, forcing Erwin to have to do the same, but not without kissing the man’s lips again. “I can be that too.”

Erwin’s eyes took on a devious backlight after replicating. “No, I like you like this.”

“Good. So you gonna continue to tease the fuck out of me? Or can we get on with you just fucking me.”

The blonde chuckled lightly, sharing yet another kiss with him. “No, I have a lot more teasing to do.” He got off the couch after that, pulling Levi into his arms.

They were in Erwin’s bedroom in seconds. Levi dropping onto his back in the center of the large bed, welcoming the larger man’s form as he too climbed onto the mattress, pinning him down. He picked up where he’d left off mouthing at the ravenettes abdomen, shucking his pants off his body before doing the same to himself, leaving them both in their boxers, Levi still in his open work shirt.

He followed his saliva slicken path of kisses back up to his throat, humming contently when he heard an impatient growl reverberate from the smaller’s chest. He pushed Erwin away to shoot a stern look at the male but with how needy he felt he was sure all his face could manage was a pleading expression. “Where’s the lube?”

The blonde smiled humorously, leaning close, like this was all some fucking joke.

“I don’t have any.”

Levi’s cock throbbed painfully with the notion that the night now might not go as planned and he swore under his breath, just like that it was like the whole dream of being split in two had vanished. “Fuck, I left mine at the office.” He feathered his fingers through his hair a little more than frustrated with himself. He always kept lube on his person. And not to say that he was a slut or anything but he always wanted to be prepared.

In spite of all this, Erwin’s eyes didn’t falter in the slightest, the fierce gleam still there, his voice as calm and velvety as ever, like this wasn’t a big deal at all. “I haven’t had a man in my bed in some time.” He divulged as reasoning.

“Well you better go get some oil or something.”

“Don’t need it.” He dictated, nonchalantly. He pressed Levi back down on his back biting a kiss onto his lips. The ravenette pushed him off again.

“Fuck you, Erwin. I am not a woman. You are out of your damn mind if you think I am going to let you fuck me dry.”

“You won’t be dry.” Was all he let on, a whispered reply in his ear. Giving the lobe a teasing lick, he flinched with the contact, melting into the blonde’s strong hold once more. “I want to eat you.”

Levi snapped back to attention, initially feeling disgusted with the idea but his body burned with want for what the man was offering him. He couldn’t admit that though.

“Let me taste you.” He continued.

“Erwin, that’s sick.”

“Don’t tell me no man has ever done that for you.”

Levi’s cheeks flushed further, he looked away from the blonde. Annoyed for feeling like a virgin before this man once again.

The twisted basturd obviously got off on stuff like that.

 It was like he had gone back in time, feeling nostalgia when Erwin spoke more, telling him not to think about it, that he wanted to do it. That had been his first sexual experience of any kind. But this was different, he was older and had sex multiple times with multiple people, he’d gotten offers of this kind before but he’d refused. Why couldn’t he do the same with Erwin, why did this situation get him hot and bothered when on other occasions it just disgusted him.

Before he could show any sign of protest however, he couldn’t even muster any, Erwin had flipped him onto all fours, his large hands firmly grasping his hips and jerking him back forcing an arch. Levi was in shock with how quickly it had all happened, his ass now up in the air and his cock hanging heavy between his thighs. If it weren’t for his boxers he’d feel completely exposed and lewd. He craned his neck around to see the blonde kneeling in front of his backside, nearly salivating.

 The same large hands that had made quick work of their position were now groping his ass, trying to get a feel for it. He’d had Levi in this same stance once before; leaning over legs spread, it was truly nostalgic having him like that again. He wasted no time, pulling the fabric from the ravenette’s hips, watching as the elastic waist band stretched over his taunt rear, pooled as his bent knees.

Levi shivered, in the cool air, only made worse by the hot skin of Erwin’s palms kneading, pulling tenderly. A pat that made him jolt coming unexpectedly. ‘such a fucking tease,’ He wanted to bite, instead he found a moan leaving his lips, low, unintentional. The large man behind had spread his cheeks and licked an experimental stride between the two, he clenched reflexively. “…fuck.” Levi sighed.

Erwin smiled from behind, pulling back and licking his lips. “…Fuck indeed.”

He spanked his ass again, harder. The sound loud in the room and the ravenette’s ass jiggling before growing bright red in the area he’d hit. Levi having to cover his mouth with his hand to keep himself from making another sound. He never considered himself a sadist but that swat to the bottom had his cock flushing harder, trying to remind him how neglected it’s been.

The blonde spanked the left cheek this time, fascinated by the reaction he’d gotten the first time and aroused by the bright flush that tinted Levi’s ass. He didn’t do it very hard, it was more of a swat than anything else. And just for added reassurance that he wasn’t being too rough, he rubbed at the cheeks lightly, soothing, before revealing the tight knot between again, tracing the rim then going at it with his tongue. Lapping slow to begin, waiting a few seconds after every pass to pull back and wet his tongue, to keep Levi lubricated and just to get him needy, mesmerized by the glisten of salvia cooling on his backside, looking on as he seemed to ache from said cool air teasing the nerves being held exposed by Erwin’s hands. He didn’t let him suffer for long before he got back to it, more forceful, fast and eager once he did. His face pressed to Levi’s ass, sucking and savoring every taste.

Levi arched farther in return, wantonly begging for Erwin to get closer for his tongue to reach deeper. He stayed over, just brushing the surface but never past that. It was infuriating until he felt the wet muscle harden and poke through… “UH… Erwin.” He’d whimpered, digging his nails into the clean sheets, no longer concerned with his volume. He couldn’t help it anyways with Erwin eating him out like a starving man, his saliva dripping down his thighs.

“You taste amazing, Levi.”

He pushed his tongue as deep as it would go, before pushing his finger alongside it, pressing along the edges, pulling him apart from the inside causing Levi’s legs to shake, jostling back and forth an in effort to fuck himself on his hungry mouth and fat finger. It slipped in so easily, along with a second, using the both to scissor and caress, searching for the man’s sweet spot. He found it soon enough becoming captivated as the smaller male shook and fell silent with pleasure, from just brushing it. He was close then. Levi certain that, even though it had never happened, he could come from the man’s tongue and digits alone, his cock untouched.

 He was more than satisfied that this would not be the case, his body warming as Erwin grabbed him with his free hand. Big enough in size to cradle his balls as well. With one firm squeeze, and the persistent stimulate to the bundle of nerves in his ass, Levi was finished. Nearly whiting out with the raw pleasure that tore through him. He lifted his head in a tizzy and breathed out a desperate moan, loud and curling.

Erwin tried to catch the ravenette’s release, mixing it with his own pre-cum as he used it as extra lubrication. He was hard and in his own numb state of mind, hearing the cries of ecstasy from his lover, viewing with intense scrutiny, the man quiver as he slowly slipped his fingers from inside.

“...Oh fuck, Erwin.” Levi finally sighed, his head falling onto the covers, his ass still raised up in the air, Erwin kissed his lower back and the ruddiness of his cheeks as he came down from his high.

“Do you still want my cock?”

“Fuck yes.” He slurred, lifting his head once more to look at Erwin.

The blonde curled over him and caught his lips for a fleeting kiss. “How do you want it?” he inquired once parting.

Levi actually considered this, tempted to let the man fuck him like this because he didn’t want to move but he thought better of it. Erwin had just eaten him like thanksgiving dinner and made him -embarrassingly – go dumb with pleasure. He wanted to do the same. Have Erwin quiver with want and lose all of his composure entirely. “I want you on your back.” He finally spoke. “I’m going to ride that big cock of yours.”

Erwin accepted this, more than happy to in fact, letting the smaller man push him down onto the mattress, rather roughly. His small delicate hands strong against his chest. Erwin slipped out of his boxers the moment his head hit the pillow waiting as Levi kneeled over him. His manhood was already growing hard with the view of the Erwin’s girth, red and throbbing as it stood tall invitingly in front of him.  

He tried to catch his breath a little more before committing himself to the stretch that was sure to occur in order to take in the other man. Erwin was patient, his eyes never leaving Levi’s face as he began to position the head to his entrance, his large hands latching onto the meat of the ravenette’s thighs spreading him gently and keeping him grounded. Lucky enough, the blonde had been right, he felt well lubed, Erwin’s cock also wet in his hand making it not as strenuous to sink down as he had thought prior. His breath caught a little anyways. Though he was well prepared, making the stretch bearable, it was still a stretch. The protrusion hard, hot and tight inside him. He managed to sit down all the way, arching his chest forward in order to accommodate it. Blue eyes roved over his body, seeming to take him all in, he clenched at the look he received, turning his face away.

Erwin whined hardly audibly when Levi squeezed him, the fit already like a vice as is. “You take me so well, Levi.” It’s like we were meant to fit together. He wanted to add on, and he almost had. He knew it was sappy, he knew it’d make Levi uncomfortable but he really just wanted the other to know how he felt. He trashed the thought for another time that night to instead focus on the here and now.

Levi circled his hips around, trying to get use to the size, also slightly enjoying the strained look that crossed Erwin’s face every time he moved. “Just you wait.” He began, leaning towards the blonde’s face to whisper in his ear, trying to give him a taste of his own medicine, “You’ll be surprised by what I can take.” He pulled away but was then grasped at the base of his skull by Erwin, who tugged him back down to crush their lips together.

“Move.” He said when he released him. Levi wouldn’t usually surrender to such demands, but once again Erwin was the exception. His deep, authoritative tone, making every fiber in his being want to bend to his will. He sat back up straight, bracing himself with his hands at his abdomen, and lifted himself off his cock before dropping back down. His legs felt like jell-o, probably from the orgasm he’d had prior but besides that the drag was great, making Levi curl his toes, his eyes rolling to the ceiling. He did it again and again, and soon enough he was panting, the sound of his ass slapping against Erwin’s thighs resonated throughout the room. He enjoyed the noise, made him feel accomplished, he was in control. He broke up the repetition by rolling his hips and gyrating his body, getting different angles along with showing Erwin a good view of his toned body and lean muscle. Despite this, his blue eyes stayed heated on Levi’s face, groaning once or twice as well as swallowing thickly and licking his lips when the ravenette would grind down on him. He let Levi take the lead, let him set the pace, let him tease him, but when the time came, his hands slipped up to Levi’s waist and held him down while he took a turn at control and thrusted his hips up into his partner.

The ravenette wanted to protest not liking the unexpected way in which Erwin stripped the reigns from him but with one good deep thrust Erwin managed to hit his prostate dead on. And not only the words but the sheer thought evaporated. He whimpered softly curling in on himself. With such a response, Erwin was certain he’d found the man’s spot but pushed against it once more experimentally before he pounded the area ruthlessly. His big hands slipped between his cheeks and pulled him open, making it easier to pump in and out of his puckered opening.

A spit of profanity left Levi’s lips immediately, being bounced like a rag doll on the blonde’s punishing cock, feeling the stretch, he’d never felt more full in all his life.

His nails clawed into the hard muscle of Erwin’s chest, searching for reprieve. He hated himself for it but he knew he wasn’t going to last that long, his restraint steadily slipping every time Erwin’s cock slipped all the way inside. He sat down against him, the opposite forces pushing him deeper each thrust and allowed his length to glide across the slick expanse of Erwin’s abs. But what truly set his body ablaze was his beautiful large rough hand wrapping around his leaking member for the umpteenth time that night.

“Oh fucking shit!” Levi cried, his head falling back, his eyes screwing shut.

“Yeah, Levi come for me.” Erwin cooed, his hips and his hand working in tangent, his voice raspy and strained.

And his body obeyed, a shutter reverberating down his spine as he came across the blonde’s chest, incoherent babbling and heavy pants leaving his lips.

He tried to come down from his high but before he could, Erwin was switching him onto his back, throwing his legs over his shoulders, a look of pure determination in his eyes.

“Just a little more… Levi.” He spoke.

Levi moaned, arching his body off the bed, not singularly from the deep thrust into his over sensitized body but also from the way Erwin had said his name, low and endearing.

As if he didn’t feel exposed before this new position had him flushing to the tips of his toes, spread and open and whimpering from the over stimulation, the man’s eyes watching his every reaction. And Erwin loved seeing it, the vulnerability on his lovers face after completion. The bigger of the two continued his strokes, gripping Levi’s thighs, and bottoming out every time. It only took a few more pumps like that before he stilled, something akin to a growl resonating in his chest as a hot warmth filled Levi’s insides.

 

* * *

 

    Levi rolled onto his side, his heart still beating somewhat rapidly and his breaths coming out in pants. It was slowing steadily but still overwhelming at the moment. Erwin followed suit, pulling the smaller man’s back up against his chest, wrapping his strong arms around the otherwise pliant form. He too seemed to be a lost for breath, however this didn’t stop the onslaught of kisses he still insisted on covering Levi with.

His lips still sucking marks onto the base of his neck, his shoulders, his collarbones, pretty much anywhere he had the capability to reach from their spooned position. The ravenette groaned, squirming under the heated contact, the blonde’s mouth and fingertips feeling like burning coals, as they skimmed over his front, groping his abused nipples.

The man appeared to never be satisfied. After the two times they’d fucked on the bed, Levi had gone to the kitchen for water only to have the nympho himself follow, taking Levi bent over the marble counter, which lead on to him being jumped once again on his way back. Erwin pushing him up against the wall and fucking him face to face there as well. How the blonde was still able to move let alone kiss and caress after all that was beyond him. The glass of water he had managed to get did nothing to help his dehydration and exhaustion.

Erwin’s hand slipping below the sheets, pulling Levi from his recollection of the past few hours, bringing about a dull throb through his flaccid member when it ventured there. The ravenette slapped his hand away crooning from pure overexertion. He cursed beneath his breath, making Erwin pull back to laugh breathlessly. He gave him an irritated sideways glance before sitting up and turning towards him.

Laying on his side, head resting on his upright palm, Erwin was the apotheosis of the best possible morning after scenario. Though dry, his body still appeared to gleam with a wet sheen, his honey locks were in complete disarray, and even though he had to be tired he held himself entirely poised and composed, though the look in his sapphire eyes held such primal intensity that Levi himself wasn’t immune to the chill it sent over his skin.

“For being such an old man, how the hell do you manage to have the stamina of an eighteen-year-old.” He muttered, running his fingers through his own black Tresses, pushing the wet mess to one side. Erwin smiled amused, his ores turning down much like he’d found the statement flattering obviously he had omitted the ‘old man part’. His wandering hand found its place on Levi’s thigh once again, gliding it over soft skin and taunt muscle, feeling over fine hairs, his response following. 

“Maybe it’s because you’re an old man who manages to still have the ass of an eighteen-year-old.” As though to make his point the palm once starting on his thigh, slipped up to his bottom, giving it a firm squeeze. “Who am I kidding…” He went on in a whispered tone, making it as though it wasn’t meant for his ears. “You have the everything of an eighteen-year-old. You haven’t aged a day.” He pulled Levi closer, speaking the words against his torso, then assaulting the skin there with wet kisses again.

He managed to get Levi out of his shirt this time, bundling it up and throwing it away from the bed. He didn’t understand why the man had kept it on all this time but he was grateful to finally have him completely bare.

Levi wasn’t ecstatic about the new-found chill of his skin from the exposure but he was even less enthusiastic about the horny nymphomaniac attached at his hip.

He pushed back against Erwin’s broad shoulders, pulling his lips away with a pop like a suction cup. The man had not only pounded him four times tonight but he had also riddled the entirety of his body with dark and light colored contusions. “Fuck, Erwin. You’re not getting a round 5 no matter how hard you try.”

A thick eyebrow corked, enthralled, “Sounds like a challenge.”

Levi rolled his eyes. “It’s not.” He turned back around facing away from Erwin and fell back onto his side. The mattress jostled as the other occupant moved as well but instead of feeling possessive arms capture him, a hesitant hand laid against his upper back. At that point he knew why it was there and what Erwin’s next words would be.

“You have a tattoo?”

Levi looked over his shoulder, the man’s blue irises finding his. He didn’t answer, as the questioned seemed to be rhetorical anyways.

“I didn’t know.” Erwin went on. Perhaps this had been what Levi was hiding from him under his button-down shirt. The design was familiar the moment he’d laid eyes on it. The image of a well detailed drawing of a flower, just one, in full bloom. Pink triangular petals that extended out from a white pollen center. A longing, ache throbbed in his chest.

The ravenette spoke next, sighing before doing so. He felt this would lead to some kind of conversation he didn’t want to have. “Designed it myself.”

“It’s a gladiolus.” Erwin spoke numbly, his fingertips tracing the intricate shapes. It looked remarkable, like he could pull the flower right off of Levi’s skin. “It’s beautiful.”

The ravenette snorted, once again, managing to interpret the look on Erwin’s face and the tone in his voice. “It has nothing to do with you. I’ve always liked the flower.”

The blonde smiled inwardly. Maybe he was deluding himself but Levi hadn’t been very convincing with his reasoning. He decided to humor the man anyways. “That never once crossed my mind.”

“Good.”

He moved to get up, when he felt lips grace the same place rough fingers once occupied. Levi found himself slouching into the feeling, melting into Erwin’s hold yet again. Unlike before, these kisses were feather light, less coercive and more restorative. Why he felt so comfortable in such a position was unknown. He never cuddled after sex, never in his life felt such an intense urge to shrink into his embrace and stay there till the morning. He sat up completely anyhow, once again the room feeling ten times cooler without the blonde’s affection. “Babies are more aware of what goes in their mouth then you are.” He retorted instead, standing once Erwin left off yet again to give a huff that was distinctively his kind of laugh.

His demeanor changed quickly as the smaller got to his feet though. A mini panic of not having the man in his bed any longer set in and like his mouth was the warning alarm he was quick to say anything to intermit Levi’s actions. “Wait.” He continued on when steel eyes focused on him, “You don’t have to go. It’s late. You can just stay here.”

The ravenette turned fully around this time, seeming to be apathetic to his disrobed form as he rolled his eyes, not surprised that Erwin would make such an assumption. “I’m not leaving, I just… where’s the bathroom?”

Relief set in like an antiseptic, “It’s the door to the right.”

Levi continued on this way without question. Erwin stood from the bed next following behind, he grabbed for a clean towel once inside along with a wash cloth. He predicted that the man was going to want to take a shower after. He had been right, if Levi’s inspection of the tiled room was anything to go by.

The bathroom was spacious, and the shower even more so, since it was the only one in the entire apartment.

He turned and rested his back against the counter having no shame in watching Levi check the bathroom, bending over and squatting down. He’d taken the man several times during the night but yet he didn’t feel entirely satisfied. He could see himself taking him several times more. He didn’t know if he’d ever get enough. Perhaps it was months of backed up sexual frustration that had him so enthralled in the smaller man, perhaps it was something else.

“Don’t even think about it, Erwin Smith. You are not showering with me.” He muttered, not even turning to face Erwin but knowing he was there, watching him like the pervert he was.

The blonde smirked kindly, meeting Levi’s eyes when he finally did turn to him. “What’s the matter, Levi?” He joked, “I can scrub your back for you, … amongst other things.”

Erwin honestly had no intentions of getting into the shower with the smaller man but once again found it enjoyable to poke fun at him. He hadn’t felt so care free in ages. Much like he was young again, like they were young again.

Levi just flipped him the bird, pushing Erwin outside the door and slamming it. He laughed, knowing that the ravenette meant nothing by it. “Is there anything I can get you?”

“You can give me some damn privacy, you shit!”

 

    By the time Levi had emerged from the bathroom, Erwin was back in bed, a steaming cup of strong tea sitting on the night stand, cooling for the raven. He’d came out only minutes’ after, the blonde was resituating himself under the covers, steam dispersing as he walked out, his hair dark and wet, dressed in a large white collared shirt not his own. It dwarfed him in size and made the tops of Erwin’s cheeks burn in knowing it was his. Of course, this still didn’t mean anything, Levi had managed to sully his shirt by keeping it on the whole time so it only made sense he’d need to wear a different one but still. It was nice seeing him wear it, made it easier to believe this was routine – even though it wasn’t-

The now clean man strolled over to the bed sluggishly, pulling the covers back on the empty space beside Erwin before getting in however he lifted his eyes to sneer at him.

“Are you not going to shower?”

The blonde smiled amused by Levi’s candid remark. “I’ll take one in the morning.”

Levi seemed slightly put off by the answer he received but slipped beneath the covers none the less, mumbling to himself, “Disgusting.”

He lifted the mug from the nightstand, after, taking a small sip before sighing contently. Erwin nearly felt a sense of pride with his after care. Wanting to offer Levi a chance to have every night be like this one but he doesn’t of course.

Levi puts the cup down moments after, hesitating before looking back down at the other man. Erwin noticed he looked determined to say something. Maybe he’d bring up, the incident they both worked hard to avoid or his regrets of the night, possibly he just had a complaint about the tea, those were some thoughts but he’d not been expecting…

“You never did say why you didn’t have children.”

Erwin’s nervous habits kicked in, he tries to laugh it off. Levi says “If I am crossing a line you can tell me.”

“No that’s not it.” He shrugs. “We tried.” He confesses. “But it never took. We never checked to see if there was a problem with her or I, we just chalked it up to be another nail in the proverbial coffin that was our marriage. Thinking back on it now, maybe it had been a sign. I was never around anyways. That child would have basically been raised without a father.”

“You talk as if the marriage was doomed from the start, but you were together for six years. There must have been something good to come of it too?”

“I told you we hit it off in college and we had but I wasn’t the one who wanted to get married.”

“So then Marie pushed you to marry her?”

“My dad pushed us to marry each other.” He sighed deeply, moving his body around to get more comfortable before going on, “I was never anything more to him then a puppet. Someone he could parade around and boast about to all his friends. I’d been an athlete, a scholar, I had graduated college so the next goal for me in my father’s eyes was marriage and kids. He never wanted a son he wanted a trophy.”

Levi felt this to be nothing new. He hadn’t gotten to talk to Erwin’s father a lot in the past – thank god – but when he did the man always did seem to look down on him. At first glance he was a tall slim man, his appearance pretty similar to Erwin of course, except the obvious wrinkles, stern ever present frown receding hairline and circular glasses, he seems like the typical straight-laced ball buster, and that was pretty much exactly how he was.

Levi’s eyes slip over to Erwin, from his golden healthy head to his toned abdomen, wondering if the blonde would ever grow to be as unattractive as his father was.

“So how is that ass hat doing now?”

“He’s dead.”

“When did this happen?” He didn’t feel particularly anything towards the statement, however selfish that was.

“About two almost three years ago now.” Erwin tone gave no indication of how he felt about his father’s passing, and Levi felt no need to question it, “I think it’s what gave me the strength to finally end the whole thing with Marie.”

“Have you seen her since?”

“Haven’t even spoken to her. We were once good friends but… now I think she resents me. I’m sure we’ll never be friends like that again.” He rolled onto his back, his blue eyes scanning the texture of the ceiling, his voice taking more of a calming state as he spoke, “I don’t think this would have happened with you and I, Levi.”

The raven could feel the heat rise to the surface of his skin, he didn’t want to have this discuss, not here, not now. “What kind of shit are you spewing, Erwin?”

“If I had married you, I doubt the same would have happened to us. I think we’d be far closer.”

“It was always easier with you, Levi. I could always confide in you and you were always so honest with me, more so than anyone else.” His gaze turned towards Levi, who looked away in result.

“Just stop. D-don’t go there.”

“No, I am serious. Humor me for a second.” The smaller rolled his eyes but consequentially looked back at Erwin, “Could you imagine what our lives would have been like. Us living together like we said we would. You coming home to a hot cup of tea every night.”

Levi looked elsewhere from his eyes but let the image settle. Against his will the flick of coming home to the huge idiot, being welcomed with a tender kiss and piping hot cup of “…Only tea?”

Erwin laughs. “Well I can’t exactly prepare much else.” Adding on, “Though I believe you said that you enjoy cooking, maybe you would have prepared dinner. I would have loved to eat your cooking, Levi. I am sure it’d be amazing and I’d be grateful for it every day.”

The man enthused, his eyes aglow like it was a real possibility but Levi knew it wasn’t. He and Erwin could never be that way. And it was pretty weird hearing him talk like it would be. Some things never changed.

“…Erwin.” Levi warned.

“Things could have been different. Maybe you and I, we could have…”- His voice continued on seeming to gain volume, speed and even pitch. The hope in his tone obvious.

“No, Erwin. We couldn’t have.”

“But if things didn’t end the way they did…”-

 “Erwin! I don’t want to hear any more just… just please for the love of God shut the fuck up and go to bed.” He laid his head on the pillow and turned his back on the larger man.

Silence settled in immediately after, having stretched on so long that Levi wanted to believe the blonde had fallen asleep but yet, “Levi…”

“I swear, if you tell me you love me…” He let the words trail into a silent threat.

Erwin sighed deeply.

“I just wanted to wish you a good nights’ sleep.” He stated, shifting to turn the other way presumably. He had sounded far different when he’d spoke those words then he had all night. It was a defeated, dreadful tone that Levi felt awful about. His goal hadn’t been to upset Erwin or embarrass him. He hadn’t meant it that way, it was just beginning to be too much. It had always been too much. Levi was no ideal mate; he was grumpy and rude and hard to deal with most of the time. He would have thought Erwin knew this better than anyone but yet he was still trying to make him something he wasn’t. Levi didn’t want to marry, he didn’t want to settle down, he’d always known that but anytime he thought different it had to do with Erwin.

When he’d thought about such things, which wasn’t at all often, he knew the only person in the world he’d ever do it with would be the very man that was currently offering it to him. But of course, instead of feeling humble or grateful about it, he felt scared; boxed in. That thought brought him back to the conversation he’d had with that bartender, Hange. She had told him that he needed to stop lying to self, that he needed to stop running away. Was that what he was doing again? Was he just running away from his problems, instead of facing them head on? Was that what he’d always been doing?

Levi reconsidered, shaking his head as if that could empty his mind of the guilt he felt. This was for Erwin’s own good, he reasoned instead. He needed to cut him loose before anything else manifested. Though in hindsight, sleeping with the man was probably not the greatest idea but that didn’t matter at this point. He would get on a plane tomorrow, get back home and everything would be as it was, how it should be. For himself at least.

* * *

 

It was no surprise that Erwin had slept like a baby. He couldn’t quite remember having such a well-rested sleep in his entire life. Just the enjoyment of having someone warm whom he cared for in his arms after a night of debauchery, was well, long overdue. But when he had finally opened his eyes it was a completely different story. For starters, the sun was shining bright through the curtains of his bedroom. He always woke up before sunrise, he kept an alarm on even during the weekends to be sure of this, the next eerie occurrence was the lack of occupancy in his bed. He was alone, the side he had sworn nested Levi was cold, no sign of him appeared to be anywhere.

Once Erwin’s clouded mind sobered, he bolted upright, checking his phone to realize it was nine in the morning, two hours past when his alarm should have gone off. And there was no reason it wouldn’t, unless… someone had turned it off. But why? Was he that desperate to get away from him again?

“Fuck!” He swore, jumping from his bed, to dress himself in whatever clothing he had lying around his closet. He couldn’t believe the man would do this to him again.

It was a rushed blur getting to the office, opting out of a cab half way there due to traffic to instead run the rest of the way. He wasn’t scheduled to work today but it was the only place he could think to find Levi. Ten years ago, he had waited, hadn’t chased after the man the first sign he got that he was gone but he wasn’t going to make that same mistake again. He was going to find him, he was going to confess and he was going to never let him go.

He was winded once he’d got to the building, trying to compose himself and regain his breath in the entryway, the desk attendant already giving him a strange look. Possibly she wasn’t expecting to see him today, especially not gasping for air or dressed in jeans and a polo.

“Mr. Smith, are you”-

“Is Levi here?... Mr. Ackerman?”

The woman stared at him, flabbergasted, much like she didn’t understand what he was saying but that probably had to do with the way Erwin was panting for dear life. He wasn’t as young as he used to be after all. He swallowed hoping to moisten him throat so he could speak more clearly and hopefully get an answer but the Woman was giving one before he had the chance.

“Y-yes, I believe he’s in his office.”

Erwin nodded in understanding, “Thank you.”

He trekked up the stairs two at a time, thinking the elevator would take too long, and soon enough came face to face with Levi’s office door. He took a deep breath knowing that if the man in question wasn’t inside. He would be in the same place he was ten years ago. With no idea where he’d gone and not knowing the first place to look to find him.

He gripped the handle to the door abandoning all prior concerns and throw it open.

The office was empty.

Everything already removed from the desktop, not even a stray writing utensil in sight. Erwin’s heart sank like a wrecked ship. An aching inferno, rising in his gut, a nostalgic feeling but not in a good way. He was once again that teenager, left alone in the high school front office, first hearing about the withdrawal feeling helpless, not having any idea where his friend had gone.

Within the next few seconds, before he could decide where to look next a petite hand sprang up from behind the desk, gripping the side of it, a mess of raven hair springing up not long after. Erwin’s insides seemed to revert back to norm. “Levi?”

The man behind the desk stilled. His eyes meeting Erwin’s like he hadn’t any idea the man was standing but two feet away from him. “Erwin?” He stood up off the floor, bringing with him a stuffed carry-on case to which he abandoned on the desk. “What are you doing here?”

The blonde thought about what he could say to that. There were a lot of reasons as to why he showed up at Levi’s office. He wanted to see him, he wanted to touch him, confess, apologize, question, but mostly, “I came to talk.”

Smoky eyes rolled. “Wish I had the time, but I have a plane to catch.” He hoisted his bag up and over his shoulder, managing not to topple himself in the process and walked unperturbed towards the door Erwin was blocking as though he expected him to just move out of the way. Instead Erwin closed such door locking it from the inside.

“No, Levi we need to have this talk.”

The raven clicked his tongue, his brows though usually furrowed were even more so now. His eyes didn’t meet the larger man’s, instead he looked around, scanning much like he was search for a weapon or a blunt object to use. This passed through Erwin’s mind but he thought better of it, if Levi really wanted to attack him, his fists would do just fine. Still, he didn’t move waiting for some kind of retaliation from Levi but he ultimately gave none.

“So you gonna stand there and stare at me or are you gonna say something?”

Erwin didn’t exactly know where to start. He had ventured out today in search of Levi so he could tell him how he felt but truth be told he honestly hadn’t expected to find him, he’d expected it to go as well as the first time the man had left him. So he wasn’t entirely certain as to where to begin.

“…Why did you leave this morning?” It slipped from his lips, but he intended to word it much better than that, emotions were clouding his head, he wanted to say something, anything to get some kind of answers.

His eyes didn’t falter with the question, instead he sighed like this was a waste of his time, “I had a plane to catch. Is that all you wanted to ask shit for brains, because seriously as I said already I have a plane to catch.” He tried to make it to the door again but Erwin held his ground.

“I am serious, very.” Their eyes finally met, Erwin’s far harder than they’d been prior. “You left and you turned off my alarm so I wouldn’t wake up on time.”

“Really Erwin. Maybe your dumbass turned it off last night.”

“I didn’t.” Irritation seeping into his tone and showing visually on his face. It might have sounded absurd for him to make such an assumption without any factual information but he knew very well he hadn’t taken off his alarm. It hadn’t changed for years. And it couldn’t simply be coincidence that the one time his alarm acts up, he happened to have also let Levi spend the night. The conversation took a pause there. Levi deciding to seethe then to give any response. It seemed to be a confession if he’d ever seen one.

Erwin sighed, instead deciding to take another route. “Well if you can’t answer me that then how about telling me why you left ten years ago?”

The shorter crossed his arms, sucking his teeth. “Are you on that again?”

“I think you owe me an explanation, Levi.”

“I don’t owe you shit, Erwin.” He barked back, “I left, get over it already.”

“Maybe that would be a little easier to do if you actually gave me explanation as to why.”

“I left because I didn’t want to be with you anymore.” He looked away.

Seemly unconvinced, Erwin let the statement marinate. He had always feared that was the reason he’d left, but he’s had a lot of time - 10 years in fact – to think about that and it didn’t add up. “You withdrew some time beforehand. If you didn’t want to be with me, you could have just said so and left but you didn’t. You slept with me first.”

Levi paled if only a little. “How the hell do you know when I withdrew.”

“I went to the office after,” Erwin admit, “I looked for you for months, went to every resource I could think of just to get some kind of information on where you might have gone. I don’t think I ever stopped.” He let the last sentence slip, a mumbled after though.

Levi heard though. Heard it very clearly. It made him think back to the conversation he’d originally had with Niles. _Ruin his life again. He’d made quite a few mistakes pertaining to thinking someone that wasn’t you was._ For once he was curious as what kind of mistakes Erwin had made with people that looked like him.

 Erwin went on, wanting a straight and honest answer. “You told me just now you didn’t want me but then why would you have sex with me? Why stay the night? Why even come over?”

“Maybe I was just horny?”

Erwin shoot his head, once again he considered that perhaps he was in deep denial. Maybe all of Levi’s answers made sense, but inside he didn’t feel right about them. They seemed forced, it seemed like Levi was trying to hide something. “No, you were different that night, it could have been quick, you could have just gotten off but it wasn’t like that. I mean we even cuddled. I doubt you’d be open in such a way to someone you didn’t care about.”

“Fine,” Levi finally admit, “maybe I did care about you - a little - but I was young and dumb. I didn’t know what I was doing.”

His heart swelled, in hearing Levi confess to have cared even if it was only a little. It was enough. “Then why did you go?”

“I had to, my mom had family elsewhere and once my father left, she had nothing holding her there.” The bite was finally out of his words, now he sounded more morose, the tone of a man caught red handed.

“Then why not just tell me? Why not say goodbye. I would have understood.”

“I don’t know. Go as my 17-year-old self why don’t cha?”

Erwin continued to push, “I think you do. I think you do know why.”

“Well I don’t give a damn what you think, Erwin.”

“You left me then and you left this morning, there must be a reason.”

“There is no correlation. I told you that was a one night thing.”

“Did it have to do with me telling you I loved you?”

Levi still. Erwin didn’t even so much as breath. This went on for second but it felt longer.

The raven was the first break eye contact, looking impatiently at his watch. “Fuck you, Erwin. I am going to miss my flight.”

“It did, didn’t it?” He challenged his voice raising in volume, feeling much like he had unburied hidden treasure, or in this case cracked the mold that was Levi’s resistance. “Were you upset that I told you that? And were you upset I started talking about what could have been last night?”

Levi reobtained his bag from the floor and walked even closer to the door he was blocking. “Move, Erwin.”

“Just tell me, Levi! What could it hurt, you are going to leave and never come back right? What’s the harm in me knowing how you feel, just once?”

His eyes thinned and Erwin was more than certain he was about to be punched in his gut or kicked in the balls but instead the shorter sighed. Levi’s gaze dropping down to his feet, a tint darkening his cheeks. “You were … captain of the football team, you were president of the honor society, you were the hottest guy in school, you were Erwin fucking Smith” each word fell from his lips like they themselves were the most repulsive thing he’d even spoken, “and I was no one.”

“Levi, I” – “You had a bright future ahead of you and I wasn’t going anywhere. You’d make up these fantasies that I knew would never be, I didn’t even know if I wanted to attend college but you planned that for us anyways.” His anger flared a little, looking back up at Erwin, and the man as tall as he was shrank from the glare. “You tried planning everything for us. It was a little much, okay? That wasn’t me, that wasn’t us. It couldn’t be. It wouldn’t have worked, and I’d be damned if I was going to let it destroy me when it all came to a head. When you finally realized, I was no good for you. It couldn’t work then and it can’t work now. It never will.”

Erwin let himself slump against the door behind him. The raven kept his eyes on the floor. “So you left because you had some ill-conceptions of me. I never would have hurt you, Levi.”

“You don’t know that.” He muttered.

“Well neither do you.” Erwin yelled back before he reestablished himself finding he too had some hand in the outcome of that night, “Fine I apologize. I have been told before that I have a wandering mind. I fantasias but it never occurred to me that it was bothering you.”

“It didn’t bother me it just…”

“Look Levi, I am sorry, Okay? I am sorry I put pressure on you, I j-just cared about you a lot. I wanted us to be together and you trying not get destroyed, destroyed me in the process.”

“I didn’t think it would hurt you any. I didn’t think you’d care.” He let out a breath, ...” I’m sorry, Erwin.”

“Thank you, Levi.” He couldn’t believe it but it was all over. He had always wondered how this conversation would go down. The explanations Levi would give him. He had expected that it would clear the past confusion that, he would feel way lighter, no longer having the bare the burden of what had happened that night. But the truth was he didn’t feel any better. Sure Levi cared about him, looked upon him so highly in fact that it ended up being their undoing but still it didn’t give him back the past decade and it didn’t solidify any hope of a relationship now.

The blonde pushed his hair back, and squared his shoulders. If this was to be the last he spoke to Levi he was going to lay everything out on the table. He needed the man to know explicitly how he felt. Knowing that he was completely honest and held nothing back was the closure he needed to move on.

“I never stopped caring about you, Levi. I never once stopped thinking about you. I know you don’t want this. I see that now but, I’d just like you to know, that you were always worthy of me. I use to think I wasn’t good enough for you, in fact. It sucks that you felt that way back then, and I wish I had done more to have made you feel better about” –

“Stop…” Levi spoke gently, cutting him off. Erwin silenced immediately. “I had a lot going on in my life back then. Trust and believe my insecurities didn’t entirely come from you.” He still didn’t look up, but he sighed deep and shakenly, like he didn’t want to say what he was about to. “Those years with you were some of my best memories. I know it didn’t work out like you’d wanted but… feel comfort in knowing you were my only friend and first lover.”

Erwin’s heart squeezed, of course this still meant nothing but he did finally feel better. He felt satisfied with this being the outcome. Wanting to leave it there, wanting to remember this moment and nothing else, he unlocks the door. “Do you think you can still make your flight.”

Levi nods. Finally taking his exit without a word. He makes it all the way outside into the public work area before he turns back towards Erwin. The blonde watches as he slips his hand into his pants pocket and produces a slim glossy piece of paper. He hands said paper to Erwin.

The man grabs hold of it, looking back at Levi whose eyes are finally back at his face, takes it and flips it over in his hands. “What’s this?” He knew it was obviously a business card but he was asking more of a why Levi had given it to him.

“My business card, it has my personal number.” Thick eyebrows rose, curiously.

He looked back to the raven for more of an explanation, but he just turned back around and walks away. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. Feedback is always appreciated.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Feedback is much appreciated.


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